u/fancifulsnails

Alright.

My son is seventeen, about to go into his senior year of high school. Turns eighteen in January.

Last night, out of the blue, he asked if I was available to attend a meeting with him on Monday. I'm off that day, told him to please elaborate..

I could tell he was nervous. Eventually came out with it and has been speaking with an army recruiter. I need to be present for the discussion, as he's under eighteen.

I stayed as neutral as possible, and heard him out on his reasonings for exploring this avenue. He's interested in training as a medic. We've already discussed his goals to be an EMT and eventually go into firefighting. I just....oh man. This is a big thing.

I am compiling a list of speaking points to bring up for discussion, come Monday. Any input? I'm really trying to not place my fears, anxieties, and concerns onto his shoulders. Ultimately, come January, he can do whatever he wants. I'd rather be supportive now, than risk him not engaging in discussions with me in the future, and not getting to be a part of whatever he sees as something he's drawn to.

Just a bit blindsided. This was not what he's talked about wanting to do after high school, up until now. I want to be supportive but well informed about what I'm walking into on Monday.

Thank you 💜

...and I may become certifiably insane! 🤣🥹😭

I love my job, I really do. However, I occasionally need to spoonfeed my patients. Or...I have one who is chronologically 70, but developmentally delayed, so her "brain age" is that of a toddler. Her eating manners are also....that of a toddler. I'm not sure I need to explain that much further.

Today, I've found myself having to walk away a few times. Not far ever, because we can't risk aspiration, choking, etc. But dear god 😭

The smacking, open mouth chewing..

*heavy sigh*

I left this as a comment on a different post, a few days ago. Thought I'd give it a post of its own though. This was a dream that felt physically strange while I was dreaming it. I can hardly articulate what I mean by that, other than I just had these unearthly sensations in my body.

I had this dream sometime last year that I was a.....I don't really know, I suppose perhaps an amoeba? I don't know how else to describe it. It was this awful feeling of having very limited senses and trying my best to evolve while just being stuck as this fluorescent little blob, rolling and moving my way through what appeared to be some type of....shopping mall? As I rolled over objects trying to collect them into my blob form. Just fluorescent lights in pinks and oranges, lighting up and fading away as I struggled to see, feel, and grow. I was rolling and blobbing my way over objects that I would attempt to use, to make myself grow and evolve. I felt so stunted and frustrated. There was this difficult to explain feeling that was very physical, and I don't ordinarily FEEL things in my body during dreams. I can only describe it as a whole body sensation of frustration and mild pain. A repetitive tune was playing on loop.

At some point, I'm beginning to force limbs out of my watery blob form, as a team of people crowd around me with.....sea creature type objects? Shoving them into various parts of me that were struggling to form orifices. It was incredibly painful. My partial limb bits were watery and useless and I could feel this all over exasperation at struggling so hard to change forms, as what looked like giant crab shells filled with slimy oyster bits were painfully jammed into me.

That's the best I can do to put it into words, but it's not even close to explaining how utterly bizarre it was. It's worth noting that I was under extreme stress in my life at this point 😂

Hey there!

I've never posted before, because I feel a bit like my situation wasn't as "bad" as having dated this person, but my counselor has recently suggested that the friendship may have played a significant role in shaping my pattern of unhealthy relationship dynamics. Interested in seeing if anyone relates?

The bpd in question was a friend I made in third grade. She had just been adopted and was new to the area, and her mother specifically picked me to be her friend because, apparently, she thought I'd be a good influence. She wasn't diagnosed BPD until late teen years (histrionic as well), but early signs were definitely, absolutely there.

I don't think I could even begin to list the absolute chaos that was my life as her best friend until I eventually cut ties at age nineteen. I have always been an extremely loyal friend. It's a core part of my character that has often wound up not going all that well for me 😂. For years and years, I felt like I was the only person this friend of mine could rely on and trust, so I played that role like it was my job. Defending, taking blame (a LOT of blame...for the mostly insanely unthinkable things!!), rescuing, calming, caring for, etc. I did occasionally try to break off the friendship, but inevitably always came back when needed.

I'm 39 now, and the friendship ended twenty years ago after it thoroughly exploding when I agreed to have her as a roommate. I see her on social media and she's seemingly only gotten worse. I do not interact.

Point being - my dating history looks a lot like this. I stay and stay and defend and forgive until everyone in my life thinks I'm completely insane. It's not normal, really, to pick the same guys on loop! I can totally see the connection, to having grown up with a hand-picked bpd best friend that I felt obligated to stand by, no matter what. I am drawn to "broken" types that need a lot of care.

Is this common?