u/fofenna

i guess my question to qualify this post as a question: if ur name is Al and u live in philly (at least around 2015) and we were twitter mutuals then (your username referenced a certain tree nut), will you hmu?

we fell out of contact around 2019 i think. maybe 2020.

i hope you're well. thanks for introducing alex g to me back then. changed the trajectory of my life to a degree. miss u!

whenever I buy regular clothes, generally speaking, sleeves are generally too short if I buy my size, or if I size up, it might fit me length wise but then it’ll be too big… the best luck I’ve had with regular clothes fitting, especially with something like jeans, is when it’s a “tall” women’s size or just buying men’s clothes. Is there an equivalent for this in gear brands?

in my regular clothes, I like to dress feminine or androgynous, but for gear, I’d prefer to dress androgynous/masculine for safety reasons, especially if I were to ride at night.

I live in SoCal, so ideally it would be something breathable during the summer and protective. I’m also open to recs for when it gets cooler/colder in the fall to early spring.

I like atypical silhouettes, avant garde designs, subversive fashion as a whole, but I’m open to gear that’s more typical/practical in its design too. Safety first, fashion second lol

Thanks :-) 🙏🏼 💕

i just moved in and started renting a room in a shared house. the landlord lives here; he's elderly and typically just rents out the master bedroom, which i am currently renting. he is also renting the spare bedroom he previously used for storage/ as an office to another tenant.

when i first moved in, my room itself was very clean. i have my own bathroom, it's a large space and ample storage. it's the most sq ft i've had for private space and i love the area/the house/etc. the landlord is very kind, our pets get along well and it's very peaceful here.

my roommate, for whatever reason, does not pull his weight around the house and honestly makes me uncomfortable.

at my last place, it was ingrained in me to do at least one chore around the house a day, maintain shared spaces "as you found it or better", and then take one day out of the week to do a deep clean of the house to "reset" the space for everyone. i lived with up to 10 housemates at a time, so it was integral to keep things clean, and we did!

here, the shared spaces, initially, were DUSTY. my landlord has a dog, so there was a lot of dog hair all around. this last week, i've been sweeping and mopping the kitchen and dining room, as well as doing a deep clean of the kitchen. i honestly do not think my roommate does any sort of chore, besides clean up a plate he leaves in the sink after eating from it.

the oven/stove was grimey, the countertops were kinda gross, the wall in the kitchen had oil and such splatter on them, there were plates in the cabinet that weren't even rinse and had food on them. luckily, there are no insects or rodents and the house itself is not like in total disrepair/dilapidated.

the live-in landlord is elderly/moves very slowly, so i am sympathetic to him being disabled as an elderly person and it being difficult to do a deep clean himself of certain spaces. we worked out an agreement where if he buys all the cleaning supplies, i'm down to help with cleaning. my rent is well below market rate, and it covers amenities like wifi, household supplies, etc. so i'm not too pressed about pitching in to help maintain the house itself.

i swept the floors, mopped, cleaned the oven/stove, started to work on the kitchen wall, scrubbed the counter tops, cleaned the windowsill, etc etc. all it took was some soap, water, degreaser type of cleaning spray, a broom, a mop, a sponge, paper towels, and some elbow grease. not impossible.

however, i'm honestly just kind of... baffled the other roommate does nothing. i was rewashing all the dishes a couple nights ago when i found the dishes in the cupboard that had food on them. it took maybe about 25 minutes, during which the the water was running. my roommate just proceeds to talk to (more like talk at me). i let him know i have mild hearing loss and i can't hear him speak that well when the water is running. i'm not going to stop the water running to listen to him because i'm cleaning and he started the conversation unprompted.

he starts giving me unsolicited input about my educational choice (we're both full-time students, i want to transfer to a state university that is well-revered for its program in my discipline of choice because i want to eventually pursue a PhD in said field). i wasn't able to hear everything, but i could pick up on some of the parts of him telling me how expensive school is, how the program he's doing is better (mind you he's switched his major at least 4 or 5 times and doesn't have his BA yet, he's doing it online). no shade to the program he's doing, funny enough, my boyfriend is gonna apply to the same school, but i have my reasons for pursuing a degree at an R1 institution (it'll be subsidized regardless because i am getting in-state tuition, i qualify for many scholarships due to my health history/being low-income/etc, it'll be a clearer pathway for me to pursue a PhD, etc).

at some point, as the water keeps running and i'm continuing doing the chore, he just keeps...... talking and giving me more unsolicited advice and i'm just like.... minding my business and cleaning. full shade in the case, i'm not going to take advice about something i already weighed the pros and cons for from someone who doesn't even maintain a house ?? and is in their mid-30s bouncing from major to major with no clear career path in mind. if i was in a similar spot to him, not sure what i want to do, sure, maybe i'd take it into consideration, but i'm already set on what i want to pursue and study.

whatever. anyway, i told him "oh, my boyfriend is interested in that program, i'm sure he'd be down to pick your brain about it."

he also left his dirty dish on the kitchen counter and i put it in the sink to let it soak in some water. he at least washed it in the morning.

my boyfriend came over last night. it was really sweet, he got to check out my new place and see everything of mine moved in, he helped me with my laundry, we got dinner and played a video game. my boyfriend is genuinely so, so sweet and kind and respectful; he came with me to tour the room and the landlord met him. he and the landlord got along well, i appreciate him coming over then because it put a face to the name and the landlord was chill with him coming over a couple times a week, as i am a full-time student and otherwise in class or doing work.

my boyfriend introduced himself to my roommate and was like "hey, i'm [name]. :)"

tell me why my roommate just went "hmph..." and went straight to his room?? 😭😭😭

this morning, after i walked my boyfriend to his car, my roommate was in the kitchen, acting hella cold towards me and just sulking. i'm just like ????????? ok. word...

regardless, he moves out at the end of the year iirc after he's done with his degree but i'm just already, off the bat, uncomfortable. i have the largest room, with no shared walls, and my own bathroom, so i at least have my own little sanctuary, but please grant me grace and strength for the next six months or so of living with this fool...

I’m studying linguistics and want to go to grad school for linguistics. I am starting from “the beginning,” so to speak, but I have some prior experience with taking (but not fully completing) linguistics class before at a university (I had a semester where my grandmother passed away and I did a retroactive withdrawal). I previously earned my AA in English.

I just finished my first linguistics class this semester at a community college.
In my prior linguistics classes at the university level, I think I kind of… stood out when it came to class participation. I had one professor tell me after class I could “lead the class better than [she could]” (she was an anthropology professor who took over the anthro-linguistics class, but her research focus was primarily cultural anthropology, not linguistics). I got called on less afterwards.

In my Spring 2026, my professor made it a point to say “any else want to share?” and exclude me from participating further because I liked to participate a lot early on in the semester (I am autistic, my special interest in linguistics, I just happen to know a lot and finding it enjoyable to share relevant information comes with the territory when you’re autistic). This has happened before, like in my Spanish classes when I took a second language for my requirement.

This isn’t the case for every class I’ve taken; my English lit classes seemed to have more students participating. However, I feel like for the linguistics classes and language class I’ve been in so far (up to the 300 level), it’s a recurring theme where I stick out a little because my special interest is, well, linguistics.

How do I manage this?
I’m thinking of just limiting myself to answering class questions/participating once per class and saying literally nothing else. I think that’s what most students do up until and during the 300 level anyway?

I understand why I end up getting ignored, because other students need to participate too, but I still want to feel engaged :-/ especially because school is my main outlet to feel engaged in life. I usually deal with depression, in part by mental under-stimulation, and academia helps with this.
I’m also thinking of taking other non-linguistics classes where I would be more of a beginner (for example, a design/art class) to fill the need for wanting to participate.

Maybe just taking extensive notes during class could be another option?

Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do?