u/fragmentsmusic7

Please point me in the right direction if this is the wrong subreddit.

Mom is disabled and gets $1000 a month. She was living with grandma with dementia but she is now having to go into a home as she has become violent.

I’ve been trying to help mom find additional resources outside of Medi-Cal and SNAP.

Everywhere I have been calling, they don’t have case workers for her. They don’t have subsidized housing. Section 8 has been closed for almost a decade. It seems like everywhere I call is just another dead end. I can’t figure out what is going to be next. I’m trying to prevent her being homeless. I’m not currently in CA and moving her in the future may be a possibility, but it is going to take planning.

Anyone have any tips or resources that I may be missing?

So I’ll try and be as brief as possible. My mom is disabled and sister is autistic. They currently survive off of my moms disability, my income, and my grandmas pension that is used to take care of her with dementia.

My current job got acquired by private equity and will be closing our doors in the next three months. I’ve been frantically job searching and found something. We currently live in California. This job would require me to move to Virginia.

My mom is now saying I’m abandoning them and being selfish. That they are going to be homeless because of me and she didn’t raise me this way. She says she would sell everything to make sure we have a place to live, but is mad I won’t do the same. I don’t own much anyways.

All my interviews have been for roles out of state. I haven’t been able to get a single interview in state. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me to lose my job in three months and then not take a job elsewhere to survive. If we can’t survive without my income, then we would be homeless when my job disappears anyways.

Anyways, not looking to cut off friends or family or anything about the rules.

Big picture, AITA for accepting a job and relocating given the above information?

So to try and keep things simple: I grew up in Phoenix. Practically raised there. Elementary, Junior High, and High School. And I crash at my friends place in Queen Creek every 4 months to visit. So this isn't just a "I'm moving to Phoenix, tell me where to live" post.

I am very close to getting a job offer that I may take up and come back home. But it's been a decade since I've lived there. Every time I visit, somehow everything is exactly the same but completely different.

Work would be out near Papago Park. Is Tempe still pretty much the same place it was a decade ago when choosing to live in the area. Or would I be better off commuting?

Honestly though, I've lived in CA and DC and am sick of insane commute times. So any insight on where you would live in this situation would be great.

I would prefer to keep rent under $1500 because I'm cheap. My upper bound would really be closer to $2000. Would really rather pocket that difference though.

Thanks in advance!

I’ll try and keep this as simple as possible. My mom became disabled when I was a teen and now only get $1000 in Social Security.

She has been able to survive because my sisters and I help take care of grandparents with pensions and dementia. So we can afford to provide them care and she has a place to live. They are in their late 80s. Every day is a blessing for them. But there is a hard truth. When they are gone and their income disappears, we run into a huge issue.

One of my sisters does the HHS program for my grandparents. They go, her income on that is gone. My mom’s $1000 can’t float anyone anywhere.

With my job, I do not make enough money to float two peoples finances and most of their needs.

But my family is asking to not contribute to retirement. To sell most of my belongings so they have a chance to avoid homelessness.

I don’t want anyone in the family to be homeless. But to ask me to sacrifice my future for theirs seems a little extreme.

Looking for opinions and guidance from those who have seen this or dealt with this before. It’s starting to get overwhelming and being asked to give up starting a family, selling possessions, and more is frustrating. It feels like I’m a walking bank rather than a family member at this point. But maybe I’m overreacting.

So seeing portfolio’s of other people and just being in this sub quite a bit made me realize I should probably add some of the material I am allowed to share with some of the companies I have worked for somewhere.

That being said, I kinda just fell into doing a lot of ID work for non-profits and for startups. Video content, voiceover, a handful of motion graphics, articulate storyline, managing LMS, creating surveys, measuring and managing engagement and all that fun jazz.

That being said, that is only one sliver of my work experience and could be just one page on a website showcasing my skillset. I’m not married to staying into ID, that would just not be beneficial to my full skillset from the I/O world.

So given that ramble, if you were in my shoes, would you make a page on a website showcasing the ID work away from other things, or would you show it in a different way?

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that it should be a proof of concept of part of the work that I have done that is I/O adjacent, but not fully sell it as me wanting to live and stay in the ID world given my other experience, skillset, and background.