u/frankachu

upped by intake yesterday to maintenance(well probably not but close to maintenance) and I'm spiraling already :(

I'm going abroad next week to see my favorite artist(hayley williams aka the actual loml) and i know it was a smart thing to do because i don't want to ruin my trip by fainting and feeling weak but holy shit my brain is constantly screaming at me and the guilt is killing me :(

concerts used to my favorite thing in the world and anorexia ruined it because now instead of being excited I just worry about having to figure out what/where to eat, worry about having to eat more and being bloated etc

i hate it whyyyy can't I just be normal

fr it's been a long time since a TV show hooked me up like this, it's actually making me laugh out loud and I'm grateful for that because lately I've been so depressed and miserable i can count on one hand the amounts of times i have laughed in the past few months

I started watching it like 2 days ago and I'm already almost halfway through s2 (I'm currently unemployed bc of my anorexia so I have way too much time on my hands lmao) and I want to keep binge watching but I'm forcing myself to watch 2/3 episodes a day because I don't want to finish it 😭

sorry this post is probably all over the place, hope you're all having a lovely weekend 🫶