u/gentle_void

Wondering if other women have noticed this phenomenon , or if it’s just something that's always happened and it's nothing new.

I grew up with a brother (older than me) who has always had issues with cruelty. He wasn't someone with aspd but just extremely insecure and wanted to dominate since childhood. He occasionally sees a psychiatrist and has received mental health treatment, but his behaviour has only gotten worse over the years.

One thing I've noticed is that he started consuming a lot of anti-feminist content online and over time his attitudes towards women became increasingly hostile. He started parroting the usual nonsense about how women should obey men, how men deserve respect simply for being men, etc. Etc. Then later using physical violence on me when I offended him.

He's always been violent towards me, but what really scares me is that he's now physically abusing our mother.

I'm 26 now and he is 30.

My mom is elderly, physically frail, and constantly walking on eggshells around him. She's genuinely afraid of her own son. I recently found out that he's hit her several times when I wasn't home, but she never told me.

Things escalated again recently after an argument about seeking treatment. She mentioned that he should see a doctor and that word "doctor" triggered him, he kept barking at her and backed her into a corner and slapped her. The situation got so bad that our entire family had to intervene. I rushed in to defend her and ended up hitting him with a hairbrush because I was afraid of seriously hurting him if I grabbed something else. He took me down and tried to strangle me and my mom pleaded he stopped. Even my dad, who's in his 60s, had to get involved.

I keep telling her that walking on eggshells around him isn't sustainable and that he needs to get out of our house .

What made me want to post this was a recent interaction I had with another woman on Reddit. She mentioned that her brother had started expressing very misogynistic views, and her experience sounded familiar. Her brother also eventually directed violence towards their own mothers.

Not claiming that the internet alone made my brother violent. He had aggression issues long before any of this, and I grew up in a household where corporal punishment was considered acceptable. It mostly came from my dad but it doesn't happen anymore. Aside from this everyone in my family at the moment is very calm and non aggressive. I have another older brother who is the eldest in our family and he didn't turn out like this. He is incredibly calm and respectful but he does not live with us any more.

But I can't help wondering whether online misogyny is giving already aggressive men another justification for abusing women.

It also makes me wonder whether this is an age-related phenomenon. Are we simply noticing more violence because our brothers now can physically overpower their aging parents? Or is there genuinely something changing in how some men view and treat the women closest to them because of online misogyny??

It's beautiful. I feel so at peace. The flame is still going. The way the over ripe banana is wrapped tightly by black thread, pregnant with foul nasty stuff. The black candle alight on top of it drips. Underneath the banana is a paper with his face on it. His eyes clearly visible, staring straight into the camera.

It feels like a masterpiece.

Anyone here practice poppet magic? I’d love to hear stories from people who’ve made poppets of others. what did you do, and what happened afterward?

I recently came across a TikTok debate about why men and women supposedly can't be friends. One argument that kept coming up was that women don't benefit men as friends, while men provide women with things like protection, money, status, connections, etc.

Most of these men seem to view friendship almost like a high school social hierarchy, "What does this person offer me?" And if they're "cool enough to be their friend".

I've had plenty of platonic male friends. I've planned birthday parties for them, given them money, driven them to work when they didn't have a car, and helped them with things that affected their lives and careers positively. That's just how I treat my all friends.

I've also had male friends who were physically weak because of serious health problems and eventually passed away. I wasn't friends with them because they could "protect me", and we were in the same economic situation so why would I want their money?

Do these men genuinely believe women are only in for it because they want men's resources? Or are they trying to convince men that women are secretly exploiting them so that men collectively withhold resources and protection from women, hence making women lower their standards?

I actually looked for research on this, we know that women tend to provide more emotional support in friendships, while men's friendships tend to rely more on shared activities.

There's also research showing men's support can shrink alot with age.

Since male friendships are made around work, sports, hobbies, shared activities and etc. Retirement, divorce, illness, moving, or losing physical strength can remove these structures. One study said it declined by 50% between age 30 - 90. Hence the male loneliness epidemic.

And research has found men disproportionately die completely alone, despite old women being more likely to live alone.

It does make me question if male friendships are more valuable because men supposedly provide each other with more material “benefits.”

In the live they repeatedly say things like, “What can women actually do for me? Women are always broke.” which is wrong since more single women own homes in the US than men, but all of this boils down to evaluating friendships based on material benefits.

+ they also engage is such discussions to humble women.

Like why are they trying so hard to let us know that they don't see us as anything but sex objects 😂? Like I said this kinda feels like high school where people are mean to you for no reason or don't wanna hang out because you aren't popular yourself. And just like high school I wasn't choosing to be around them because I wanted to get access to their circle. And like high school I find these men incredibly cringe and living a painful existence. They will always be used by women for their money because women who actually want an emotional connection won't tolerate them.

I mean it doesn't apply to me but what ever. So it's easy for me to not take it personally because I'm doing just fine. I've had this discussion with male friends before and they straight up told me I'm too toxic and they would never get sexually involved with me because they know I am a good friend but an shitty and manipulative lover.

Tldr: men think they're too good to be friends with women, they also believe men who are friends with women are loser men who can't make friends or are homosexual. They also want women to REALLY know how much they hate women and only see us for sex. They also REALLY wanna convince men that their female friends are evil and taking advantage of them.

I want more energy to gets stuff done and do more spells. Problem is that I'm always exhausted because I am handling quite a lot in life. I'm considering transmuting lustful men's energies into positive energy for me but do you guys have any other recommendations?

Typically, when I see men being “friendzoned,” the woman is rejecting a romantic relationship, not rejecting him as a person.

She may still genuinely care about him, enjoy his company, check up on him and want good things for him. That’s what friendship is supposed to be.

I’ve friendzoned guys before, and I still check in on them and help them because I value their company and they’ve helped me too. The romantic interest just wasn’t there.

Most situationships are men reading from the same pick up artist playbook, where the man doesn’t want anything serious, while the woman does and keeps hoping it will eventually turn into a relationship. This hope isn't delusional because men deliberately keep things vague.

I absolutely don't think the men in these situations are innocent. A lot of them don’t clearly say, “I only want sex and this is never becoming a relationship.” Instead they say things like, “I’m not ready for a relationship right now but I really like to spend time with you,” (even when they don't) or “I really like you, but I’m not looking for anything serious at the moment.”

That wording leaves the door open. It gives her a reason to think, “Maybe later.” and on top of all that they don't even let these women leave. Promising something vague, just to keep her around longer.

If he genuinely told her the full truth that he only wanted something casual and had no intention of ever dating her, she might leave. These men know that. So they keep things vague enough to keep the benefits of the situationship without having to actually commit.

Like if you're stuck in a situationship you're not delusional and I've seen women genuinely driven mad by these men. I don't see delusional women, all I see are manipulative men who are keeping things hopeful on purpose and absolutely not letting her go when she wants something better. And I've also never seen these one sided situationships even develop into a friendship because the men usually are disgusted by these women so much.

I, 26F, think I might have ADHD or some kind of auditory processing issues.

I’ve noticed that I’m really bad at following verbal instructions unless I can actually see someone doing the task in front of me. Even then, I usually need to try it myself before it properly clicks.

At work, I also have this habit of jumping the gun with deliverables. I’ll finish something, submit it, and only after submitting it suddenly notice mistakes I should have caught beforehand. I don’t know if it’s because I’m anxious about deadlines and just want to get things done as fast as possible, or if there’s something else going on.

My brain constantly feels like I have 20 tabs open. I want to do art, read, fix my sleep, work harder, find better opportunities, be productive, look good, meet friends, and somehow keep up with everything else at the same time. Instead, I’m exhausted and lately I’ve been struggling even more to actually finish things.

I have trouble with instructions these days and I make a lot of silly mistakes. Sometimes I get so scared that I’m going to mess something up that I end up overthinking it, rushing, and then actually making the mistake I was worried about.

Sleep is another problem. At night I know I should get ready for bed, but I’d much rather keep doomscrolling than actually start the process of going to sleep.

Recently I’ve also been so stressed and mentally occupied with work that I barely remember things happening outside of it. It feels like my brain has no space left.

I've always been someone mentally preoccupied with stuff but now its becoming too overwhelming.

Does this sound familiar to anyone with ADHD, auditory processing issues, anxiety, burnout, or something similar? Like how do you deal with this?

26F. Every time I buy new clothes, add something to my skincare routine or discover another procedure, I am chasing the same high. I keep thinking that improving my appearance will finally unlock the life I want.

It reminds me of Clavicular. I don’t think his obsession is really about beauty. To me it's more about is about control. He wants to control how people perceive him as much as humanly possible, and he believes plastic surgery will give him that power. In some ways, he is right. Being attractive gets him more attention, more sex and sympathy. Looks do affect how people treat you. But they clearly haven’t given him peace.

I have wanted to be beautiful since I was eight. I wanted male attention. I wanted to be admired and perceived as special, like many young girls do. Girls grow up absorbing the message that women will never truly amount to much, so beauty becomes the one form of power we are promised. If you are not as strong, respected or important as a man, and you are not even beautiful, then you are useless.

Obviously it's not something I believe in anymore since I have personally accomplished a lot. But the desire to be beautiful still does not just vanish because you've found other forms of self esteem, because the men at the top of the social hierarchy still rewards attractive women. You can achieve greatness and still feel that being beautiful would make that greatness more visible, more acceptable or more valuable.

What probably made me so hyper fixated on beauty with that I was once considered one of the ugliest girls in school. I was a South Asian girl with tan skin, severe acne and hyperpigmentation. People would literally point at my face and ask what happened to it. They were cruel in ways they probably would not have been if they had found me pretty. They sided with my bullies, took advantage of me and showed me very little sympathy just because they found me ugly.

When I was in university I started wearing makeup, dressing better and taking care of my appearance, and the way people treated me changed drastically. So of course I learned that beauty could protect me. It could make people kinder. It could give me attention, sympathy and access.

The problem is that I keep expecting the next improvement to open another door. I spend HOURS AND MONEY on my hair and appearance, convinced that one more outfit, one more peptide or one more procedure will finally change everything. Instead, I get compliments. That is usually it. I haven't even got a proper boyfriend and I thought I kept attracting men who didn't stay for long because I wasn't beautiful enough. It failed to attract me a nice rich long term boyfriend.

Then the high of a new dress/facial procedure disappears, I notice something else I could improve, and the cycle starts again.

Maybe I am disappointed because beauty did change my life, just not enough to get me more.

Sometimes I wonder whether I would finally notice how far I have come if I stopped constantly searching for the next improvement.

Somewhere I keep wondering, after putting so much hours into my appearance, does it even get better? I'm so tired of up keeping my appearance but if I stop people will treat me worse.

I’m thinking about starting a support group for Muslim women who are extremely isolated or controlled by their families.

I’m talking about women who are barely allowed to leave the house, make friends, socialise, work, study or experience a normal life because their family believes their freedom will damage the family’s reputation or “honour.” They say she'll get her freedom if she gets married and only if her husband allows her. Like is this even a life worth living? You're basically living like a zombie with all your potential destroyed because someone will make you look like a whore for wanting some freedom.

Sometimes even sitting in a café with friends is treated as proof that a daughter is disobedient or “impure.”

I grew up in a household like this. I was isolated from other people, heavily restricted and abused at home. I was also bullied at school for my lack of social skills, I had no proper support system and very few opportunities to develop normal friendships or social skills. Even harmless things such as watching movies were heavily controlled because my parents believed they would teach me bad behaviour. So I had hardly any way to learn about the world and people.

That level of isolation does not protect women. It harms their confidence, mental health, education, independence and ability to function socially. It can leave someone feeling completely unprepared for adulthood.

I want to create a space where women experiencing this can support each other, encourage women to stand up for themselves, talk without judgement and gradually work towards more independent lives. This would not be about pressuring anyone to run away suddenly or put themselves in danger. It would be about support, planning, education, employment, financial independence and finding trustworthy professional or community help.

Would a group like this be useful? What platform would be safest, I'm considering WhatsApp.

There was someone in a friend group who was spreading false rumours about me. Her was trying to ruin my reputation and relationships was pissing me off, so I put her name inside a small jar with vinegar and dog poo to ruin hers.

Recently, I went to another gathering with the same friend group. I accidentally said something insensitive to someone else, which I didn't and now I think that person also has a negative opinion of me. I do not think the situation is extremely serious, but it has made me wonder whether my spells are causing unintended consequences.

Sometimes, it feels like doing spells creates more problems in my life. I am not sure whether this is happening because I do not leave offerings all the time, especially for spells that only use my anger and energy. It's like putting someone else's name in a honey jar where you don't exactly need to give offerings. When I perform normal spells for my own benefit and positivity, I sometimes ask my spirit guides or ancestors to help me, but usually I only ask them to protect me. Most of the time, I believe I am using my own energy and directing it towards the person or situation.

I once heard a Muslim preacher say that magic creates problems and then offers a solution to the problems it created. That idea has stayed in my mind, and I wonder whether this could be the negative side of practising witchcraft.

Do you think these situations are signs that my spells are backfiring, or could they simply be normal conflict and consequences? It feels difficult to dismiss it as normal friction because my life seems much less chaotic when I do not perform spells.

I have also noticed that I can often achieve what I want by focusing on it and manifesting it, without using spells. Could the problem be that I am not grounded enough, or is it possible that spellwork simply does not benefit me? Or perhaps I'm not leaving offerings?

Edit: the spell is working as intended and is ruining her relationships in te group but I'm worried if another unintended consequence is me also losing friends.

I came to this conclusion because as a young girl I spent years watching early manosphere content before it was even called the manosphere.

When I was around 15, I had very low confidence, struggled socially and wanted to know how to make boys like me. I would search things like “how to be confident,” “how to be more attractive” and “how to get someone to like you.”

Most of that content was aimed at socially awkward men, so the algorithm kept pushing me into pickup-artist videos and male forums. Nobody there knew I was a girl. I was basically watching men teach other men how to approach dating when they thought no women were listening. I would often bring up these things with my friends to protect them but back then they didn't take it seriously since it seemed like ramblings of things that happen online but never real life.

And the advice was RARELY about becoming a good partner.

The goal was getting laid, attracting multiple women and keeping women emotionally invested.

The same dating gurus / pick up artists, without fail, would recommend these books to "up your game":

Neil Strauss’s *The Game*

Robert Greene’s *The 48 Laws of Power* and *The Art of Seduction*

Sometimes with Machiavelli and *The Art of War*.

They treated dating like conquest to stick your dick in a woman.

Women’s desire for love and commitment was treated as a weakness that could be studied and exploited for the conquest. Men were taught strategy, control and detachment and never about building healthy relationships.

Overtime these echoes became louder and mainstream with the rise of Andrew and Tristan Tate.

Now we are seeing small communities of women adopt the same mindset in reverse. The most obvious examples are creators like Shera Seven and The Wizard Liz: forget love, protect yourself, extract what you can and never let a man have the upper hand.

I remember The Wizard Liz making the argument "if men manipulate women for sex without feeling guilty, so why should women feel guilty about manipulating men to get what they want?"

You do not have to agree with exploiting love to gain advantage over someone but here we are. Dating is fucked because men were learning from predators. Until there is a collective agreement amongst men that they shouldn't try to exploit women for sex, I wish women the best when it comes to exploiting men for money.

I'm a 26 year old woman. There are a lot of people in my life whom I really admire, especially business owners, startup founders, and even one of my bosses. They seem to have an incredible capacity to handle multiple responsibilities at once, and I want to become like that.

I once met through a startup program. He is fairly well-known in my country as a host and comedian, and I think he may have a Netflix special.

One day while mentoring us, he left for about 2 hours and then came back to continue the session. Later, I saw online that during those two hours, he had gone to a nearby convention to host and judge a cosplay competition.

He managed to mentor us, appear at another event, and return all in the same day. On top of all that he has a wife and kids, and is probably in his mid 40s.

I know several people like this. They have full-time jobs and businesses, maintain social lives, spend time with their families, and sometimes raise three or four children. They seem capable of carrying so much without everything falling apart.

Meanwhile, I am currently trying to balance a full-time job, a startup, and my social life, and I feel completely exhausted. My brain isn't functioning at a 100% anymore, all I think about is my immediate needs and I don't like thinking too deeply about stuff unless career requires it.

To be fair, I am also quite disorganized right now. I used to manage things with sticky notes and small task lists, but lately I have become so fatigued that I can't even focus on that.

I have begun reducing my screen time, and I think it helps alot, but ultimately I am still exhausted. And if I do reduce screen time a distract myself with working.

I understand that I am probably only seeing the public side of these successful people, and I do not know what help, sacrifices, or struggles exist behind the scenes. Still, I feel like there is a genuine difference in capacity.

I don't know if I'm expecting too much of myself but if a 40 year old man is capable for doing so much then why am I so tired? Why can't I keep going? Even when I try being organised when another thing changes my plans I get extremely frustrated.

Edit: One more thing to mention is that I struggle to understand how much stress I'm in. Like I know I'm exhausted/sad/stressed but I genuinely can't tell if I'm over reacting or I'm really stressed. Like I remember walking 6 hours non stop still having the energy to go clubbing but when I sat down on a train I fell into a fast deep sleep. Maybe I just don't like resting?

Hi everyone, I have a fun travel/exploration app and I’m looking for a UI/UX designer to help make the app feel more polished, and easy to use.

This is not a full redesign from scratch but our designs, fonts, UI, etc. are all over the place with no cohesiveness. I mainly need help with:

Improving the current user flow

Making the app easier to understand

Creating a simple design system/components guide

Improving visual consistency across the app

Making the overall experience feel more fun, clean, and intuitive

The app has a playful travel/discovery feel, so I’m looking for someone who can balance usability with a bit of personality.

Budget is $20 . If the work is good, I’d be open to continuing with more paid tasks as the app develops.

This would be ideal for a junior UI/UX designer, student, or someone looking to build their portfolio with a real app.

Please DM me with a short intro and your portfolio or past UI/UX work.

Thank you!

Looking for a 3D artist to create a 3D version of our logo.

Requirements:

• The logo looks like a map pin, but a longer shaft/pole than a standard map pin. 📍

• Clean, professional 3D model

• Suitable for use in videos and Adobe Premiere Pro

And an Animation (2–3 seconds) of it rotating.

Deliverables:

• 3D source file (FBX, GLB, OBJ, or Blender) that can be imported to adobe Premiere Pro.

• Transparent background animation (MOV with Alpha preferred)

• GIF version

I am offering $10 which will be transfered via PayPal. We are a startup that's looking to post on social media using the 3D model. DM me for more details. I'd be happy to see your previous work as well.