u/germanduderob

They're a supposedly "left-wing conservative" party, but it's SO in-your-face obvious that they're nothing but a Russian puppet intended to give actual left-wing politics an even worse image and push people further right by using typical tankie rhetoric without actually doing anything - and the worst part? It's working.

The AfD is at an all-time high, more and more people believe in the Horseshoe Theory, and our "centrist" federal government is actively trying to prevent a state government in Berlin led by our left-wing party, painting them as antisemites for being pro-Palestine, and even prevent the constitutional right of governments to expropriate industries.

And now on top of that, the BSW is planning on working together with the AfD - it's THAT obvious. No, I don't believe every single tankie you see online is a fascist paid by the Kremlin, but those definitely exist. They're a mix of fascists, useful idiots who maybe once had a legitimate interest in leftist politics but got lured in by tankie ideology, and bots.

It's 100% a calculated psyop, making the general public believe socialism were just fascism painted red (and also worse somehow), and that the reactions of actual leftists were proof that infighting were a major issue among the left. Not saying infighting never occurred, but it's blown WAY out of proportion.

Actual leftist groups need to be way harder on tankies. Don't give them the benefit of the doubt, don't show them any sympathy, but treat them exactly like you'd treat Nazis.

Tankies sind bei "Nazis raus" mit gemeint!

Literally dreamt of my worst fear a few nights ago; someone having a crush on me... and not taking my rejection well, to put it lightly.

Essentially the dream just showed me trauma I've actually experienced - someone crushing on me and reacting with abuse as I didn't feel the same. It's something I've experienced multiple times to the point where I'm convinced I must exclusively romantically attract mentally unstable/abusive people so I can't trust anyone feeling that way about me. I literally started feeling dizzy and sick in my dream, realizing I once again found myself in that kind of situation, and mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen - and it did.

Woke up in a bad mood and hoping my stupid brain will stop showing me images I hoped I'd never see again 🙄

Like, wtf?! Dear brain, please make me dream of close platonic connections instead?? Maybe even sexual?? You literally can't feel romance, so why torture me with those disgusting images?! 😤

Just needed to let this out lol.

"Why yes, I tell my friends I love them, cuddle and kiss them, want them in my life forever, and grow with them. No, none of this is romantic in any way, shape, or form - it's 100% platonic and I have no idea why you'd project your romantic ideals onto others' relationships, don't be weird 🙄"

"So you're telling me... you instantly know those two people are a couple JUST because they kissed and said 'I love you'?! 😳"

"I hung out with that super cool new person yesterday! They were so sweet to me, held my hand the whole time, and stood close to me - I think I've just made an amazing new friend! 🥰 ...w-what do you mean, that was a date and they have a crush on me!? 😰"

-

The last one isn't canon (thank god), but it's totally something that could happen to me. My flavor of bellusromantic isn't even desiring romance-coded gestures despite being aro, but more so being completely blind to romance; I can never tell two people are a couple unless they explicitly state they are because nothing reads as inherently romantic to me, and I'd absolutely interpret a date as just two friends hanging out. I don't like affection despite being aro, but because it's genuinely not romantic to me 😅

TW: internalized aroallophobia

The first time she did it she apologized immediately after, knowing I'm aromantic and have gone through trauma which involved slut shaming, but yesterday she did it again and still hasn't apologized. It triggered me badly and I'm still in a state of intense self-hatred, barely able to even look at myself in the mirror, having urges to do "things", and strangely, to go on dating apps and force myself to date someone even though the mere thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

I hate myself either way. I'm a slut who just uses people for their bodies and whine when they're tired of being used and fetishized, and I could never be happy in a romantic relationship, the only socially acceptable kind of intimate relationship. It's no coincidence people have called me a slut, whore, and player and keep calling me one, because that's all I am. It wasn't even a joke. And idk if I can live with the fact that even friends think of me that way.

To make it short (hopefully, I'll see when the post is finished), I might have a crush, but I'm not sure. All I know is I think about that person basically every minute of the day and worry because I haven't heard from them in four weeks. We were FWBs and things seemed fine, but then they ghosted me and now I'm an emotional mess.

Here's where it gets confusing - part of me is happy they ghosted me because what if they actually caught feelings for *me* and thought I wouldn't reciprocate them, because I told them I was aromantic from the beginning? The fact that I don't want my feelings reciprocated makes me wonder if perhaps I'm some kind of lithromantic? But then another label I've been identifying with for a while and still am is bellusromantic, meaning I desire romance-coded activities like cuddling and kissing, but specifically outside of a romantic context.

So maybe I'm a mix of bellusromantic and lithromantic then since I guess I do experience some romantic attraction very rarely (I haven't felt this way in years, and since then I've gone through some traumatic experiences which I thought had taken away all the romantic attraction I used to be able to feel), but don't want it reciprocated, yet do want to be affectionate in a non-romantic context...

Idk, I'm confused.

I don't feel comfortable with any kind of intimacy that reads as "too romantic" to me, so lately I've noticed that I'd feel the most comfortable in purely physical and transactional relationships. Not even FWBs because they involve too much attachment, which as I've recently noticed, are too similar to romance to me.

I really just want to be useful. Nothing more, because that's already too "romantic" to me. Ig what I want is just be someone you'd use whenever you're horny. In fact, recently an online "FWB" (if you can even call it that) straight-up told me she's just using me to get off and I felt... SO happy?? Like, all we do is sext, dirty talk, and get horny for one another, and for some reason knowing this doesn't mean anything "more" to her made me feel so euphoric.

Is there something wrong with me??

I've been doing some thinking and realized that, while I have enjoyed being intimate with FWBs, it comes with a few downsides too; most people aren't aromantic, nor poly/ENM, and even those who are will still prioritize their romantic partner(s) and eventually want to end their friendships with benefits, or at least remove the benefits.

As someone who's very romance-repulsed, I've long considered FWBs the only way for me to comfortably experience intimacy, especially with poly/ENM people because the risk of them catching romantic feelings for me is much lower as they already get their romantic needs met by their partner(s) so I can just comfortably be a nice physical extra.

However, I've noticed that when FWBs end things it hurts me a lot. Of course I respect their decision and don't protest or anything, but I cannot help but get sad when it happens, and it always happens eventually. Once I've grown too attached it will hurt, and honestly, I'm not sure I could do it again.

So I've decided to resort to hookups from now on. No attachment, no hurt feelings, just short and sweet intimacy. This will most definitely not help the aroallo stereotype of sleeping around all the time, but honestly, if that's the only way for me to experience intimacy comfortably and without getting hurt in the end, then so be it.

Does anyone else relate? Maybe have had similar feelings? Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.

I'm not mad or anything, so there's an emphasis on "lighthearted", but I just can't leave this uncommented 😅

Whenever someone here asks what romantic attraction feels like there's at least one person conflating multiple types of attraction, such as romantic and sensual, which is the exact same fallacy alloallos commit when they incorrectly claim sex(ual attraction) was part of romantic attraction - yes, most people experience all those attractions simultaneously so they're part of their personal romantic experience, but they are different and can indeed be experienced separately.

Just like how it's possible to experience romantic- without sexual attraction - and vice-versa - it's also possible to experience romantic- without sensual attraction (and vice-versa - I should know because I'm aromantic yet allosensual).

Now, I will admit this mostly isn't a big deal, but it can become a bit problematic when people incorrectly conclude they must be aromantic when really they're actually a*sensual* or just touch-averse. Likewise, it took me so long to realize I was aromantic because for the longest time I thought I couldn't be since I love physical touch, including a lot of romance-coded activities like cuddling and kissing - turns out a desire to do those things with specific people is *sensual* attraction, not romantic.

Just had to say this lol.

Honestly, I hate being a man and wish I weren't one. Anything but a man, I don't care. I feel so uncomfortable in this role, being seen as part of "the dominant sex", "the providing sex", "the protective sex", and simultaneously being seen as part of the toxic, oppressive patriarchal system which I reject in all of its entirety - having all those things ascribed to me which society deems "masculine". I don't identify with it at all.

On top of that, whenever I'm in spaces in which I can be truly myself, act in non-masculine ways, wear cute, stretchy skirts and stuff, I feel more like myself. Like I can just let go of all those toxic gender constructs and just... have fun? Be me? Idk. This only happened a few times, may I add, like a friend let me wear a stretchy skirt and I felt... SO good??

If I had to guess I think it's just me being a man-hater which includes myself, but could this also be gender dysphoria and I might actually be trans/non-binary?

I'm still somewhat active in the asexuality sub since I used to identify as ace and now hope to perhaps help people figure out whether or not they're aro.

Anyway, I keep seeing so many posts by alloaces lamenting that apparently no one these days wants to just date and instead everyone is looking for sex... yet my issue is the exact opposite. It seems like everyone is obsessed with romance, wants something "serious" and find "the one", writing in their dating bios to swipe left if you're only looking for something casual.

It's so rare for me to actually encounter people who just want something casual (FWBs, hookups, etc.), and maybe this is a cultural thing or something, but honestly, I just encounter WAY more people looking for romance than just sex.

Is it just confirmation bias, something cultural, or something else?

Obviously most people here are aroallo, but there are so many different kinds! We should be able to add our exact aro identity/microlabel and sexual orientation as it would also make it easier to find people with a similar or even the same identity - that said, any fellow bisexual bellusromantics? 👀

I'd probably add silly stuff to mine too, like: "romantic kissing: 😤 - platonic/sexual kissing: 😍"

What would your user flair be if you could customize it?

Okay, so this isn't directly related to asexuality, but more so aromanticism, I suppose, however I'm asking this question primarily to alloromantic aces as I think you guys can give more insight on this than alloallos.

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So I just saw a post claiming there were three kinds of singles; "fun singles" who go on dates, have fun with various people, and aren't really worried about finding someone asap, "moderate singles" who are neutral about dating and romance and are fine either way, and "sad singles" who are basically incels.

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Now... is it just me or is "single and no interest in dating" missing? Is it THAT unusual not to date? Do alloromantics just assume that people must be either in a romantic relationship or looking/dating, while not even considering the option that some might not have any interest in dating whatsoever?

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I actually have experienced similar things before, with people just assuming I was dating or in a relationship. An online friend who knows I'm aro once asked me something about dating culture in the country I'm from, which obviously I couldn't answer, and they only realized I'm probably not the best person to ask this after I pointed it out. And then another person I had never interacted with prior once just casually referred to "my partner" and how they hoped I was in a happy relationship with them... I have no idea what could've prompted this as nothing I said implied I had a partner in any way, shape, or form.

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I knew amatonormativity runs deep in society, but it's honestly shocking to see just to what extent that's the case.