u/gf99b

So I very well might be the asshole in all this, and I'll gladly own it if I am.

Today my favorite professional sports team celebrated a (relatively rare) win. I made a comment on their social media post about it, and later got only one like on my comment from someone who appears to be a player's family member. I thought it was AI (there are quite a few AI bots that lurk on the team's page that will react/reply to your engagement, masquerading as a player or someone close to them) at first, but a closer glance revealed that she appears to be an actual family member of the athlete... probably an aunt or cousin, but perhaps even maybe their mother or grandmother. Even on her profile she has pics of the athlete with other family members, which I highly doubt were pulled from other places and are date-stamped from several years ago.

I was a little starstruck in a way. I've never got to meet (up close) any of the current players for said team, nor have I really met anyone I've admired. This isn't that, obviously, but just having someone "adjacent" to them react was a big deal.

I sent a screenshot of the reaction to a couple friends, and one of my close friends egged me on to DM her. I immediately shot down the idea as I couldn't simply tag her in a comment reply, and I didn't want to be seen as an "Internet stalker creep."

I then relented, with the thinking that the "worst she could do is ban me." That is if she even received the message, as that social media platform doesn't even notify me 98% of the time if someone outside my friend group sends me a DM. My message essentially said I saw her reaction to my comment, wondered if there was a connection to the player in question (as they share the same uncommon last name), and told her that I admired the player and he was one of my favorites. Sent, no take backs now.

I then sent a screenshot to the friend who egged me on, but then sent it to another friend that I met through following the team. It immediately struck a nerve with the second friend and an argument ensued. He told me "we don't go into the family section and bother family members of players ... as they deserve space and not be hounded by people." He then went on to tell me about the "family section code" and how it "extends to social media" and how I broke some cardinal rule and made an unforgivable sin.

Here's the thing: I don't see that I did anything terribly wrong. The family member liked my comment, I replied with a DM she'll likely never see and can simply ignore. One single comment. I didn't even know she existed until today, and have already forgot their name and won't interact again... not even if they in some rare circumstance decide to reply to my comment. I can see how it'd get old receiving messages from your family members' followers after a while, but she also assumes some risk by interacting with fans on the team social media account, and by having her messages enabled with a completely open, public social profile. I sent one message... no harassment, no stalking, no persistent or constant messaging to blow up their phone of social notifications. Just one single, relatively short message telling her I saw her reply and admired her family member.

I've learned my lesson: Don't message athletes/celebrities/etc. or their family members. And definitely don't send a screenshot to said friend unless you want an earful. But, here's the question that brings me here: Am I the asshole in this scenario?

Gidget, my 6-year-old Chihuahua, used to be very good at using the bathroom on her training pad in our apartment. We couldn't let her outside often because she'd always go crazy and pretend like she forgot her name, so she became a strictly inside dog. (When we would go outside she'd never go bathroom outside, either.) However she got good at going on the pad unless it had been soiled previously.

Our old place was completely "tile" floors, so if she did miss the pad it usually wasn't a massive deal. However, we recently moved into a bigger place that has lots of carpet upstairs on the main floor. As soon as we moved in, we made sure to show her where her pad was now located (in a utility room that has tile floors).

Unfortunately in the weeks since she has not used the pad once. She has went on the carpet every time. When not at home we have locked her in the utility room (which also has her crate, food and water) and even then she wouldn't use the pad.

What can we do to get her to start using the pad reliably again? We have been spraying parts of the carpet where she does go with a stain spray that is also supposed to deter them from going there again, but that doesn't seem to be working well.

We're nervous about the situation. The owner of this place was very hesitant to let us bring her because they were very adamant about no pets, but since we had her since she was a puppy and she was potty trained they made a concession. We obviously don't want to get in trouble with the landlord and my dad (who I lease with) said he'd get rid of Gidget if we start to take heat due to her soiling the carpet. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I got into the Royals around 2021 when I was in my last year of college. I never really followed sports before but somehow the Royals really appealed to me. That summer I went to my first game at The K (also my first pro sporting event, went on my 22nd birthday) and despite the Royals losing to the Tigers, I quickly became obsessed with the team. During that phase, which I call the "hyperobsession" phase, I collected bobbleheads, baseball cards, anything else Royals-related I could get my hands on. My bedroom essentially turned into a shrine for the team. I wrote a couple stories for a long-gone Royals blog.

The negativity and pessimism quickly got to me, though. Especially since I live deep in cardinals territory, where everyone is hyperobsessed with the cardinals. (I often got heckled and joked at for my Royals gear, and witnessed one or two very heated exchanges about the 1985 World Series between another Royals fan who I befriended and cardinals fans.) The irrelevance in baseball as a whole — the team only being mentioned when they got blown out like tonight or as the butt of a joke — exacerbated my negativity. I went to Opening Day 2023 but that was it for me, I "gave up" on the Royals and slowly somehow found ways to distract myself with other things.

Then last year I made a huge mistake and got back into the Royals by going to a game on my birthday. I subsequently tried to reconnect with the fans I made during my first round in the Royals fandom (although many won't speak to me anymore because of my pessimism) and have even brought out many of the bobbleheads, cards and other memorabilia that I threw into storage after my 2023 hiatus from following the team.

However, I've still been very labile regarding how I feel about the Royals since... when they're doing good (like earlier this week) I'm good, but when they're bad (last night and especially tonight) it just tanks my entire mental health. I know that sounds weird to say, but somehow I do care about this team that much for some reason. I have friends (primarily from college) who work for the Royals. They were my first true favorite sports team. Bobby Witt Jr is probably the first athlete I truly admired, even though he's younger than me (by a year) and there were other Royals players I liked. (My first being Danny Duffy because of his openness with his own mental struggles.) There's even a couple minor connections between the Royals and some of my other interests. And even though I'm not from there, I love the connection to Kansas City (and I've always favored baseball over other sports).

I find myself talking a lot about the Royals in my therapy sessions, and I often feel ashamed for being upset/depressed over something so insignificant or trivial. I even have more pressing things that should be prioritized but in my mind take a backseat. Distractions sometimes work, other times not so much. Therapy isn't always a huge help. I try to detach from this team but somehow haven't had much luck. All that even despite my pessimism and bleak outlook for the team.

All this long-winded back story to ask: How do die-hard Royals fans (or fans of other bad teams) do it without suffering mental meltdowns night after night? And how do you manage to find the silver lining or things to look forward to when everything seems so bleak? The team is on track for a 100+ loss season and possibly finish last in MLB. The Royals future in Kansas City looks so bleak as they enter yet another era of irrelevance, mediocrity and sub-.400 seasons despite having some very talented players that would be stars on other teams. With the Royals being not just irrelevant but actively disliked in their own city, sometimes it feels as if this could be the final era of professional baseball (MLB) in KC. On the field, all of our ALC rivals have more top prospects in their pipeline than the Royals so it appears the Royals likely won't even have a shot at competing anytime in the next decade or so. The owner doesn't seem interested in turning any of it around, he seems content with the way things are going.

Yet somehow die-hard fans will continue to proudly wear their Royals gear, go to games and cheer on the Boys in Blue, and support the team no matter what. Those individuals find the silver lining in nearly every situation, even the darkest moments like being absolutely crushed 22-1 by the ChiSux (my most hated sports team btw, I hate them even more than the cardinals and Yankees somehow) and the lack of anything pleasant to look forward to. I've always admired the fans who can make lemonade out of a lemon, and have always wondered how they do it. How do you stay sane when this team is so bad and there's nothing to look forward to, no hope on the horizon?

TL/DR: How to stay sane and positive/optimistic when this team is beyond awful and there's nothing to look forward to?

Hello, everyone. Lately I inherited a one-time windfall of money and was thinking about using it to upgrade my main computer setup. I currently use a M1 Mac mini (base 16GB RAM model with 256GB internal SSD) that has ran mostly flawlessly since I got it new in 2021. The only problem I have is that the internal SSD is nearly full despite me moving nearly all my files to an external 2TB hard drive. Because of the lack of storage (only 20-30GB free), I haven't been able to update to the latest macOS and have been stuck on Sequoia 15.7.4.

Instead of switching to a custom Linux PC I was thinking about building, I'm really thinking about just upgrading to a new Mac mini. Specifically I've been eyeing a M4 Pro Mac mini (12-core CPU, 16-core GPU) with 48GB RAM, 2TB internal SSD, which would cost $2,400. The custom PC I was looking at building, running Debian with the KDE Plasma desktop environment, would cost ~$3,000 with peripherals.

Would the M4 Pro Mac mini a wise upgrade over the M1 Mac mini I currently have? I really like the thought of the 48GB RAM, which seems like an amount that would serve me well for a while to come. Anymore my usage is rather basic; I mostly do web browsing, some basic gaming (Minecraft, OpenEmu, DOSBox), and occasionally light graphic design using the Affinity suite. I also use 68k Macintosh emulators (Basilisk II) and Serial to communicate with my 68k Macs.

In addition to the computer itself, I'm curious about a hub base like the Satechi USB-C stand hub that has worked very well with my M1 Mac mini. Are there any good USB-C hubs, preferably stand hubs like the Satechi, that have USB-A and SD/microSD slots for the newer Mac minis? I'm also wanting something that will help keep the new Mac mini in place since it only weighs 1.5 pounds. Will my existing USB-C peripherals work with the Thunderbolt ports on the new Mac mini?

It seems like a no-brainer to upgrade, but is there anything else I should consider regarding the potential upgrade? I also look to buy a larger (4K 27", 3840x2160px Asus ProArt) display, laser printer (Brother), 4TB external hard drive (Western Digital) and a UPS (APS). (Is it possible to partition the 4TB drive so that 2TB can be used for Time Machine backup and the other half for extra external storage?) I plan to keep my existing keyboard.

Also look to upgrade my dad from an early 2014 MacBook Air to a MacBook Neo, and finally get an Apple Watch SE 3.

Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Hopefully this is OK to post here, but... I'm currently cleaning and have around five totes filled with Royals memorabilia — bobbleheads, cards, pins, etc. — that I'd like to get rid of. Some of it is relatively rare and other items (e.g. bobbleheads) have never been out of their packaging. I live in the middle of Cardinals territory and there's no interest in any of it here from the sports memorabilia shops or anyone local, so I figured I'd post on here to see if anybody might be interested.

It's free but with a caveat: Whoever must pick up locally either here in Jefferson City (preferably) or Columbia. I tried to sell some of the bobbleheads but they were going to cost a fortune to ship, it was quoted around $50 just to send four to KC. I also just didn't have the energy to photograph and list every single item in the collection.

I was real into the Royals in 2021-23 but lost interest. Got back into them last year a little and need to detach again for my mental health, but also would like to free up some space.

If you're interested, please comment below or shoot me a DM. I'd hate to see it all go to the landfill but that's where it'll go if there isn't any interest.

EDIT: So far everything has been claimed. I didn’t realize there’d be as much interest as there has been. Thank you all!