u/girlsjustwannahavrum

we were in a situationship for several months and he always seemed to be extremely overwhelmed by his feelings and kept going back and forth. there was never a romantic certainty from his end, even though his feelings appeared to be extremely strong at times. things ended 3 weeks ago and since then ive been very distressed because i did love and value him a lot. is there a spell i can do to make him pursue me romantically and see me as someone he wants to spend his life with? i plan to do a honey jar and a reconciliation/communication spell since we’re not in contact anymore but what else should i focus on? any particular ingredients or rituals would be greatly appreciated

besides that im also suffering from PH on my face and neck(which had very light hair). is there anything that can be done to reverse it? im from india and we don’t have electrolysis here yet otherwise i would have gone for it. this is genuinely taking a toll on me to the point that i have turned down intimacy multiple times and don’t even get out of my house much because of this neck beard i have grown

i have been in an emotionally draining on-and-off situationship with a guy from university for the past 7–8 months and it’s really taking a toll on me.

After we first kissed, he suddenly pulled away, said we shouldn’t do it again, and ghosted me. About six weeks later he came back apologizing, saying he couldn’t get me out of his head, had missed me every day, and admitted he’d pulled away because he was scared of getting too attached. I gave him another chance.

Things improved, but he’d still deactivate sometimes after intimacy. After I ended things because of this, he came back again a week later, blamed his avoidance and fear of attachment, and said he wanted to try despite previously insisting he didn’t want a relationship.
For the next few weeks he was incredibly affectionate. He told me I was unlike anyone he’d ever met, wished he wasn’t as attached to me as he was, and was just very sweet in general . Then he withdrew again.

When I confronted him, he said he’d gotten his feelings mixed up, that his feelings were mostly platonic, and that he didn’t feel a strong romantic connection because “all we do is joke around.” The irony is that he rarely wanted to meet me on campus, and when we did, we usually just ended up making out.
I told him I never felt emotionally secure enough to fully open up because we’d been stuck in a situationship for so long. I had a complete breakdown on the phone.
The next day he asked to meet because he had a lot to say. Instead, he repeated that he liked being single and didn’t want a relationship, yet kissed me for a long time and told me I was the most perfect woman he’d ever met. The following day I removed him from my socials, and we ended things.

Three days later he sent me over 80 drunk texts saying how lonely he felt without me, wished he could forget me, said he’d envy the man who’d get to be with me, called me the most emotionally intelligent, interesting, and beautiful woman he’d ever met, and said he didn’t deserve my love.
The next day I called him while he was drunk again. He said he had “so many feelings” for me, apologized for hurting me, and said he couldn’t give me what I wanted because he didn’t trust himself in a relationship. He also apologized for not reciprocating my feelings. When I asked if he didn’t feel the same way, he first said, “Not as intensely as you,” then immediately backtracked and said he meant he didn’t express his feelings as intensely.
I cried and told him I loved him. He didn’t say it back. When I asked if he thought I was pathetic, he replied, “For saying that? I wanted to say that so many times too.” He ended the call by saying we both needed to move on.

It’s been a little over two weeks, and ever since it ended, I can’t stop wondering whether, if I weren’t lacking somehow, he would’ve wanted a real relationship with me.
He values ambition and intelligence immensely. Because of years of depression and BPD, I constantly feel cognitively exhausted and struggle academically in ways I never used to. I’m terrified he saw that as a lack of drive or ambition.
He also said all we did was goof around. Part of that was because I never felt emotionally safe enough to be vulnerable and that’s why defaulted to humor. But another part of me wonders whether he simply thought I lacked depth or wasn’t someone he could have meaningful conversations with.
I keep thinking that if I weren’t mentally ill, if I could function the way I used to, excel academically, read more, and pursue my hobbies maybe he would’ve seen a future with me instead of feeling so conflicted.

i have been in an emotionally draining on-and-off situationship with a guy from university for the past 7–8 months and it’s really taking a toll on me.

After we first kissed, he suddenly pulled away, said we shouldn’t do it again, and ghosted me. About six weeks later he came back apologizing, saying he couldn’t get me out of his head, had missed me every day, and admitted he’d pulled away because he was scared of getting too attached. I gave him another chance.

Things improved, but he’d still deactivate sometimes after intimacy. After I ended things because of this, he came back again a week later, blamed his avoidance and fear of attachment, and said he wanted to try despite previously insisting he didn’t want a relationship.
For the next few weeks he was incredibly affectionate. He told me I was unlike anyone he’d ever met, wished he wasn’t as attached to me as he was, and was just very sweet in general . Then he withdrew again.

When I confronted him, he said he’d gotten his feelings mixed up, that his feelings were mostly platonic, and that he didn’t feel a strong romantic connection because “all we do is joke around.” The irony is that he rarely wanted to meet me on campus, and when we did, we usually just ended up making out.
I told him I never felt emotionally secure enough to fully open up because we’d been stuck in a situationship for so long. I had a complete breakdown on the phone.
The next day he asked to meet because he had a lot to say. Instead, he repeated that he liked being single and didn’t want a relationship, yet kissed me for a long time and told me I was the most perfect woman he’d ever met. The following day I removed him from my socials, and we ended things.

Three days later he sent me over 80 drunk texts saying how lonely he felt without me, wished he could forget me, said he’d envy the man who’d get to be with me, called me the most emotionally intelligent, interesting, and beautiful woman he’d ever met, and said he didn’t deserve my love.
The next day I called him while he was drunk again. He said he had “so many feelings” for me, apologized for hurting me, and said he couldn’t give me what I wanted because he didn’t trust himself in a relationship. He also apologized for not reciprocating my feelings. When I asked if he didn’t feel the same way, he first said, “Not as intensely as you,” then immediately backtracked and said he meant he didn’t express his feelings as intensely.
I cried and told him I loved him. He didn’t say it back. When I asked if he thought I was pathetic, he replied, “For saying that? I wanted to say that so many times too.” He ended the call by saying we both needed to move on.

It’s been a little over two weeks, and ever since it ended, I can’t stop wondering whether, if I weren’t lacking somehow, he would’ve wanted a real relationship with me.
He values ambition and intelligence immensely. Because of years of depression and BPD, I constantly feel cognitively exhausted and struggle academically in ways I never used to. I’m terrified he saw that as a lack of drive or ambition.
He also said all we did was goof around. Part of that was because I never felt emotionally safe enough to be vulnerable and that’s why defaulted to humor. But another part of me wonders whether he simply thought I lacked depth or wasn’t someone he could have meaningful conversations with.
I keep thinking that if I weren’t mentally ill, if I could function the way I used to, excel academically, read more, and pursue my hobbies maybe he would’ve seen a future with me instead of feeling so conflicted.

9-ish hours left and i have not studied anything at all…