u/glossyhachi

pleasee🙏🏻

- padre (nivel bajo. solo altero mi perspectiva del amor y me genero miedo al abandono)

- ex novio (nivel medio. me dio un brote psicotico y termine internada por 3cera vez)

- psiquiatra (NIVEL EXTREMO: me rompio el corazon. lo quise como a un padre y teniamos buena relacion hasta que tuve una crisis horrible y él dejo de atenderme)

es gracioso como un chico puede escribir sus problemas (bullying, abuso s3xual, problemas mentales, inseguridades fisicas, problemas familiares, etc.) pero si lo hace una mujer busca atencion, es rage bait o quiere promocionar su of. es ironico que resten importancia a infancias similares sobre el genero

My mom raised me on her own, and for many years she made me feel like she was the only person I had in the world. However, when she met her current partner, I felt like her entire life started revolving around him.
I know I’m not an easy person either. I have a diagnosed borderline personality disorder (BPD), and living with me has probably been very difficult since I was a child. I’ve always been extremely sensitive, prone to intense anger followed by crying, and I’ve had a deep fear of abandonment for as long as I can remember. I’m aware that this must have been exhausting for her.

Even so, there are things that hurt me deeply. At one point, she told me I was her favorite child, but now I feel like spending time with me is just another obligation or inconvenience to her. Many of our arguments start because I feel like she consistently prioritizes her boyfriend over me. For example, she’ll cancel plans we already made to see him, even if she had already spent the previous day with him. Or when we’re together, she’s constantly on her phone talking to him instead of being present.

Some time ago, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I found out during an argument, when she suddenly told me. It was an enormous shock. I’ve always wanted her to be healthy and happy, and hearing that news in the middle of a fight was devastating. More than once, during arguments, she has told me that she’s going to die. Those words fill me with fear and guilt. I’m terrified that it could actually happen and that my last memories of her will be our fights. My best friend says she’s probably not going to die and that saying something like that during an argument could be a way of making me feel guilty or manipulating me. I don’t know if she’s right. She’s having surgery on Monday, and today we cut off contact after another argument. I’m incredibly anxious because I don’t know how the surgery will go.

I currently live alone and support myself financially. Every now and then she helps me because I study while also working. From Monday to Thursday I work in her business, and on weekends I work long shifts as well. When she decided we couldn’t live together anymore and I moved out, she promised that our relationship wouldn’t change and that she would come visit me. That never happened. I was always the one who had to beg her to visit, and most of the time we ended up arguing because I felt hurt by what I saw as her lack of interest in me.
Today was the breaking point. She told me that she had already spent her life raising me, that I’m 22 years old now, that her job as a mother is done, and that she wants to live her own life.

That’s what leaves me wondering: Is it normal for a parent to want more distance once their child becomes an adult so they can focus on their own life? Or is there something else happening in our relationship?

Sometimes I feel like she only raised me out of guilt or pity because my father abandoned me when I was little. Besides her, I feel like I have no one. Most of my family lives far away, and I barely have any contact with them. My older brother has his own life. In many ways, she is still my only real family, and that’s why all of this hurts so much.

me crio sola y siempre me hizo sentir que era la unica persona conmigo en el mundo. luego conocio a un hombre y su vida empezo a girar en él. se que soy una persona xomplicada y que mi tlp diagnosticado hizo que su vida conmigo fuera un infierno desde que soy nena (siempre fui demasiado sensible, propensa a ataques de ira y luego llanto y un miedo muy patente al abandono). segun ella una vez me dijo que yo era su hija favorita pero me trata como si fuera un tramite o tedioso estar conmigo porque le reclamo (x ej que cancele planes que hicimos por estar con su novio que ya vio el dia anterior o estar conmigo y estar pegada al celular para hablar con él)

tiene cancer de tiroides. eso fue un gran shock para mi porque me lo confeso en una pelea. fue un momento horrible de procesar porque siempre quise que ella este bien y que sea feliz. en mas de una discusion me confeso que se iba a morir y me da culpa y miedo que esto sea real y que lo ultimo que tenga de ella sea esto. mi mejor amiga diji que no se iba a morir que me esta manipulando para hacerme sentir mal, y si tiene razon? el lunes se opera y hoy cortamos el vinculo. quisiera saber como va a salir de la operacion.

yo vivo sola y trabajo para abastecerme (de vez en cuando ella me ayuda porque estudio y trabajo tiple turno los findes ademas de lunes a jueves en su negocio). cuando me echo porque no podiamos vivir bien las dos me prometio que nuestra relacion no iba a cambiar y me iba a visitar. no es asi todas las veces le tuve que rogar para que ella me visite y terminabamos peleando porque le reclamaba su falta de interes en mi.

es todo muy largo pero hoy fue el quiebre. me dijo que paso su vida para criarme (ahora tengo 22) y que su trabajo esta hecho que quiere tener su vida... es valido eso para alejarse de mi? a veces siento que me crio porque le daba pena y culpa que mi papá me hubiera abandonado. despues de ella no tengo a nadie más, mi familia vive lejos y no tengo mucho contacto con ellos y mi hermano mayor tiene su vida.

uno de mis mayores problemas como mujer (22) es que intento cambiar mis gustos en hombres desde que tengo memoria pero siempre vuelvo a lo mismo. me atraen 2 figuras masculinas en cuestion:

1. hombres muchos mas mayores que yo, generalmente con una diferencia de poder (maestro, jefe, etc). bien vestidos con trabajo estable, buenos padres (o al menos presentes) y suelen estar casados y boludearme claramente

2. pibes encerrados en su pieza, adictos al death/ black metal y grunge, dudosa higiene, 4chan, "ayy soy muy bueno y las pibas no lo ven" pero conocen a una chica que los ama y la tratan como la peor basura. odian a las feministas y dicen tenerle "miedo" a la mujeres. se autodenominan "fracasados" o "feos". no usan redes sociales mas que para ver memes y somos totalmente polos opuestos en todo sentido y declaran odiar especificamente a las chicas como yo. estos OBVIO tambien me boludean e incluso mas que los viejos xd