This therapy seems stuck in the 1980s.
i mean at some point you feel like okay, this friendship has run its course and you should let them go. cause the more they’re in your life the more uncomfortable it gets. that’s why i cut most my friends off since i didn’t feel we’re close anymore. some of them i just never felt comfortable next to, and i didn’t like them either. some of them didn’t reciprocate my feelings and effort i put into our friendship. the others were just so distant and one of them barely replied back when i said happy birthday to her and idk. maybe i make a big deal outta everything but it just didn’t feel right to keep them in my life as things were getting ugly. i feel like my behaviors are due to the fact that i am mentally struggling and i can’t even have a fixed image of myself, let alone of other people. so tell me i am not the only one who feels this way..
ive been with my girlfriend for over a year and i love her so much, we both have bpd and our relationship has always been very rocky. i am a compulsive liar and i have been since i was a little kid. i usually lie when i think i'm going to get in trouble/when i think i might hurt someone so it's come up a lot in our relationship. the other day was our do-over for our one year and in the morning before she was awake i called one of my friends that she doesn't like and i know she doesn't like him. it's a boundary of hers that i don't call him on special days and i knew this. i was just really overwhelmed and i wanted to talk to him because it's less pressure talking to him about some things. anyway she woke up in the middle of our call but i had headphones in so i lied about who i was talking to. she could tell but wanted us to have a good day so gaslit herself into believing otherwise. in the night she checked my phone and confirmed i had lied and confronted me about it today. i feel so awful because this isn't the first time i've done this and i just keep breaking her trust and i don't know how to stop. has anyone else had issues with compulsive lying? how do i stop myself from hurting her because i love her and i hate being this way
I let my maid of honour borrow a bracelet of mine for my wedding ceremony at the beginning of July. A couple days ago I asked for it back.
Some contexts to the rest of the texts:
I have a chronic illness, so I split my ceremony and reception by a couple of weeks so I had time to recover. Unfortunately, my family made some nasty comments the days before and after my wedding, which I told my maid of honour about and she said I should really consider cutting them out of my life because the comments were so bad. So between the ceremony and reception I was in a mental health crisis, which she knew about in detail. I haven't seen her since then and have been very mentally and physically unwell since. She's having a Halloween party next weekend.
The day before my wedding, my mum put together some bouquets from artificial flowers (and made nasty comments that night too implying I was ungrateful, even after I already thanked her), and she told my maid of honour she could take one home, I didnt want to upset my mum and cause even more drama on my wedding day, and being exhausted and ill, so when my MOH asked if that was okay I said "we'll talk about it later", so a few days before the reception we went to collect them, she asked why I didn't just say no to her taking them, so I explained about my mum.
She arranged my hen do and also helped with fundraising for my wheelchair and donated some money.
She had told me that her fiance had lost his job earlier this year, but never said they were struggling and he found another job a month maybe before our wedding ceremony.
Hey, I'm not sure if anybody will read this but I really want to come on here and make my piece. I've been through the doctors offices, took the medications, spoke to the therapists, pretended it was okay, told others they are okay, apologized for actions. But at the end of the day this shit doesn't care if you do these steps. BPD used to rule my life to the point I was alone and crying everyday because I felt like a monster and thought I couldn't be able to make anybody happy.
I'm crawling out of that pit today. I'm not going to do this shit anymore. I'm done feeling sorry. I'm done feeling useless. I'm taking my life back. I would love if any of you want to support me or start a little support session. I know this shit is going to be hard as fuck but I don't have any other options.
Hello you lovely people!
:D
I was told I have BPD by a psychologist but am awaiting a proper diagnosis.
I would love to chat with anyone here because you all seem so sweet.
I am 26F and am struggling so much esp to get over my exes. I just would really appreciate a comforting ear.
ive been out of work since july after getting SAd by a customer. i start my new, much better, job november 2nd. since being out of work ive been relatively okay but the last few days and especially now i am going crazy from not having anything to do.
i cant spend a lot of money as i only like to use the benefits im on for travel and needs. i really want to do things but also really struggle with motivation. i have BPD (im getting help soon, though im not a severe case) and depression, so its really hard sometimes to get up and be productive.
if anyone has any ideas on what i could do/ how to feel more motivated that would be massively appreciated. i live in the outskirts of London, UK so if there are anything i can travel to to do i would love to hear. i just dont want to keep myself inside as boredom goes hand in hand with chronic emptiness with BPD, and ive been really working on my mental health, trying hard to not let these things escalate into something worse.
I’m F20 and I got my bod diagnosis two years ago. And tbh I feel like my symptoms are only gotten worse, and I’m depressed most of the time. Time goes slow, but all my days are the same and is just blending together. I don’t remember my last weeks or days, but I’m always feeling numb and sad. Tired. Extremely tired. I am so bored. Nothing is fun. And even if im actually doing something fun, I don’t feel happy about it. I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health since I was just 9. And I’ve been a lot to therapy, but I don’t feel it’s helping… Do you relate or have any advice?..