u/godisinthischilli

I've heard before it's important to set boundaries with bosses and coworkers in general, however, every time I've tried to set boundaries with my manager she completely steam rolls over me. She will hyper fixate on X issue instead of backing off. A lot of the times all the tasks she gives me are already on my to-do list she just gets incredibly anxious if they aren't getting done at a speed to her liking. I tried the "what should I prioritize?" and then she downplays how much work I actually have to do. I've tried ignoring her requests/playing dumb and she keeps messaging or email me to get X task done. I have also tried telling her I don't agree with some of her takes on things or rules and she just enforces them anyway.

I hate feeling like I have no authority over her simply because she's my manager. I've tried to outsmart her but she tightens her grip when she feels she is losing control.

My manager has become extremely involved in my email communication and I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if this would bother other people too.

The first red flag for me was during my first year when she asked to be CC’d on basically all email communication because she wanted to “be more involved.” This year, it has escalated into constant feedback on almost every email I send — everything from typos to wording/tone adjustments.

To be fair, I know professional emails should ideally be error-free, and I also know I tend to write quickly which probably contributes to mistakes. I’m not pretending I’m perfect. But at the same time, the level of monitoring feels excessive to me. Sometimes it feels less like coaching and more like surveillance. I am going to start running emails through a checker of some kind and save error free email templates.

Part of what frustrates me is that some of the feedback feels very subjective. It’s not always that the email is wrong, it’s just not worded exactly how she would word it. I also can’t shake the feeling that because we work remotely, she uses this as a way to monitor productivity and justify being heavily involved.

I understand managers are supposed to oversee communication quality, but at what point does it cross into micromanagement? Has anyone else dealt with this?

Also she doesn't do this with every staff member just me. When I asked my coworker if she was monitoring her emails she said "No they are just emails." I also work hybrid/remote so I feel like she wants to check emails as a way to A) justify her middle management position and B ) monitor my remote work. Like emails are the most visible thing to show she's managing so she latches on to them if that makes sense.

Does anyone else feel like some managers use random Slack pings and oddly timed meetings as a way to monitor remote employees?

I work remotely/hybrid and I’ve noticed my manager will sometimes send random Slack messages even on days when we don’t have meetings or anything urgent going on. Individually it’s not a huge deal, but over time it’s started to feel less like communication and more like “checking if I’m there.”

The thing that really stuck with me was that she scheduled a Huddle on Christmas Eve. It was an early release day and there was absolutely nothing urgent happening. It honestly irritated me because it felt like a subtle way of making sure people were still online/available before the holiday.

I fully understand managers need communication and oversight, but sometimes it feels like there’s a difference between managing work and monitoring presence.

Curious if others have experienced this, especially in nonprofits/admin-heavy workplaces.

By the way there is no expectation that we need to be actively on slack during our work hours but we just need to respond to messages in a timely manner.

Does anyone else feel like some managers use random Slack pings and oddly timed meetings as a way to monitor remote employees?

I work remotely/hybrid and I’ve noticed my manager will sometimes send random Slack messages even on days when we don’t have meetings or anything urgent going on. Individually it’s not a huge deal, but over time it’s started to feel less like communication and more like “checking if I’m there.”

The thing that really stuck with me was that she scheduled a Huddle on Christmas Eve. It was an early release day and there was absolutely nothing urgent happening. It honestly irritated me because it felt like a subtle way of making sure people were still online/available before the holiday or early release.

I fully understand managers need communication and oversight, but sometimes it feels like there’s a difference between managing work and monitoring presence.

Curious if others have experienced this, especially in nonprofits/admin-heavy workplaces.

Is it just me or do some teachers get very jealous of other teachers? Have you ever felt bullied by other teachers at school? There’s a big divide between chill and strict teachers also.

Just came here to vent I absolutely love the building I've been living in for about a year now. Just received an email today saying they are being bought by Alpha Management. I immediately looked up reviews only to find that there is a tenant union fighting them and they are one of the worst landlords in the Boston area. I feel totally blindsided by them doing this before a lease is up and not giving tenants an option to stay or move out from Alpha. If I had known ahead of time I would not sign the lease. Thankfully they can't raise the rent this year but are likely going to the following year of the lease. Sucks ass.

Can someone explain how they can sell properties before a lease is over it feels somehow illegal that residents can’t make informed decisions.

So there is a known difficult manager or person to work with on staff. A couple of times the way they handled something made me feel really uncomfortable and I tried to express that directly to them but felt totally unheard. I also personally believe that the Director doesn't hold the line with the Manager a lot of times and they sometimes are not aligned. This creates confusion when the Manager disagrees with the Director and those underneath the Manager are given confusing directions-- when I have tried to bring up this dynamic I am often just met with a "You need to listen to your manager," which I get but it feels kind of wrong since the Director is technically above her and I feel she should get the final say. I've thought about bringing up this dynamic to HR just to make them aware that this dynamic is happening and it could be affecting staff morale but I don't want it to make it back to the manager. I've often been told HR is there to protect the company not the person and involving them unless it's a harassment claim is almost always a bad idea.

So I already know I have a micromanager but last year she told me she wanted me to CC her on all emails which I already felt uncomfortable with it felt like she didn't trust me to write emails or was monitoring work progression but I obliged. She will always leave notes on my emails that bother me everything from correcting typos to missing information (which that part I understand and am now double checking to make sure emails are always correct) but she will also say that emails need to be worded differently or have more "personality." To me wording and personality in emails are highly subjective and I kind of just ignore that advice. But I want to basically write perfect emails every time so she never can correct them or say that I don't write well formatted emails.

Also she said once she only cares if it's with company partners and external partners which makes sense but once and a few times she also corrects my emails just with clients. I already know she's a micromanager and don't want to give her the satisfication of feeding her boredom or busy work.

I am considering using AI to review all emails, add a "personal" opening and ending, and then saving templates for reuse to get her to stop commenting. She does not do this with my other coworker to note.

We are open enrollment which means that people can drop in and drop out of the class as they please. I hate not knowing exactly how many students will come whether it be 10 or 2 it makes my planning for classes feel very limited because I can't count on X amount of students to come for a game lets say.

So I see a lot of posts upset that Hannah won but hear me out. I don't think the biggest belter has to win Idol every time. I agree that Hannah doesn't have a huge range, however, I think she's charming, has a nice tone, and is a good singer songwriter. Yes, many people are hating because she won partly due to going viral but the song itself is decently written and emotional but people got mad because they took it to be a sob story or a pity party. I actually started following Hannah on TikTok before Idol and I really enjoyed her acoustic voice in her home. She felt much more natural and sang beautifully in key. On Idol her voice was definitely not the best it broke kind of awkwardly in a few songs. However, I think she has a strong command of artistry. Idk I just feel like people complain that the belters always win and then when a non belter wins it's "she doesn't have a good voice!"

I am always stunned by the amount of meetings we have and my manager will brag about having 2hr plus meetings. My Director really talks too much and doesn't know how to manage time for meetings and often runs over time. It's been brought to her attention before but she doesn't really stick to a time. I sometimes wonder if we are justifying remote work with the amount of meetings we have.

Yes my theory is that meetings become more prevalent in hybrid or remote work because it's a visible way to gaurantee or clock hours much easier for a yapper to yap for an hour than produce tangible meaningful work and projects.

My boyfriend’s autistic sister has a trust fund set up for her, but I still worry about the future caregiving situation
I’ve posted before about struggling with some of the realities of my boyfriend’s sister having autism, and I still feel conflicted because I know she’s not a bad person and I know autism is a disability. But I also feel like people don’t talk honestly enough about how much anxiety these situations can create for partners/future spouses.
His sister is what most people would probably consider “high functioning.” She can communicate, socialize, go out, etc., but she also struggles a lot with things like time management, social cues, independence, and fixating on special interests for hours at a time. She also doesn’t currently have a part-time job, which adds to my worries about long-term independence.
The biggest thing stressing me out lately is the future. My boyfriend has told me that his mom has said he will NOT be expected to take care of her in the future. Apparently they’re even setting up a trust fund for her, and his cousin who works in finance is supposed to manage it eventually.
But even with that information, I still can’t stop thinking:
A trust fund handles money, but who handles the actual caregiving?
Where will she live when her parents are gone?
What happens if all the older family members are elderly or pass away?
If she can’t fully live independently, who steps in?
I haven’t pushed for details because honestly it feels intrusive and not fully my business yet, especially since I’m not married into the family. I lightly hinted at my concerns to my boyfriend, but he mostly reassured me that he personally won’t be responsible for her care.
I think what’s hard for me is the uncertainty. I know there are things like supported living, group homes, aides, etc., but I don’t know if that’s their actual plan or if everyone is just hoping things work themselves out later.
Has anyone else been in a relationship where a partner had a disabled sibling and you quietly worried about the long-term future? How do you balance compassion with realistic concerns about caregiving, boundaries, and what your future life might look like?

I really wanted to use music to teach adults but I've found that many of them seem to get frustrated or seem bored when they can't understand every single word of a song. What has been your experience with using music to teach?

Hey all, curious what the norm is here because I feel like I might be overthinking it.

We have a shared TV in the living room, and it’s currently logged into my streaming accounts. For a while I was paying for Netflix (no ads), Apple TV, and Crunchyroll. I ended up canceling Apple TV and Crunchyroll, but I’ve kept Netflix since it gets used a lot in the apartment.

The thing is—my roommates both use my Netflix regularly (they even have their own profiles), but no one has really offered to split the cost or contribute another service for everyone to use. I did bring up splitting Netflix before since it’s the most expensive one, but it didn’t really go anywhere. I also mentioned I might cancel it if the cost keeps going up.

I guess I’m starting to feel a little weird about being the only one paying for something everyone uses a lot. I don’t mind sharing, but I kind of assumed the polite thing would be to either:

• offer to split the cost of a shared service, or
• contribute a different streaming service for the apartment

Is that a reasonable expectation? How do you all usually handle streaming services with roommates—do you split one, each pay for your own, rotate, or just not share at all? Sometimes I do think about going petty and saying I canceled the Netflix but keep it on my personal computers in my own room (but I also enjoy watching on the TV).

Curious what’s typical vs. me just being mildly annoyed over nothing 😅

I was talking with coworkers about shared TVs in apartments and it made me wonder if I’m overthinking my own situation.

One roommate owns the living room TV, and I’ve always treated it as: they have priority, but it’s fair game when it’s free. That part mostly works. The friction is more about day-to-day shared use.

A few things I’ve noticed:

• Subscriptions feel uneven. One roommate shares multiple streaming services, and everyone uses them without really discussing it. I don’t mind sharing, but it can feel off if someone is using my account more than I am without contributing. I know you can't also force roommates to pay for subscriptions. However, more than 90% of the time sharing subscriptions turns into people leeching and going "ooh lala free TV" without either offering to split the cost or buy a new sub that everyone can enjoy.
• Dinner time feels “claimed.” Another roommate watches an episode every night during prime dinner hours. Totally reasonable on its own, but over time it’s started to feel like that slot belongs to them, even though nothing was agreed on. I usually just go along with it to avoid awkwardness.
• Shared space awareness varies. For example, I had friends over once and we were waiting to use the TV, but my roommate kept watching. Not a huge deal, but it made me realize we might all have different assumptions about how shared spaces work. My friends also both mentioned to me that it felt a bit awkward because she kept watching without offering the TV.

Overall, it feels like whoever is most consistent kind of sets the norm by default. I also realize I contribute to that by being pretty go-with-the-flow.

I don’t think anyone is trying to be difficult, but I do wish the living room felt more like a shared space during peak times instead of something I’m intruding on.

For context, I try to be mindful myself — I don’t usually watch more than one episode at a time, I binge in my room, and I turn the TV off around 10.

Curious how others handle this:

• Do you treat shared TVs as communal, or does the owner get priority?
• How do you handle prime time like dinner/evenings?
• Do people usually talk about this explicitly, or just let patterns form?