u/grawmaw13

Basically I've been a solo runner for a good number of years now.

My wife recently mentioned joining a local running club.

What's the actual experience and benefits of these?

Because i assume that everyone's ability is different so it can make experience either too easy or too hard. Or do they break off in smaller groups etc?

Or is it more of a social thing?

What's your experience and would you recommend?

Thanks in advance!

I'm nearly 3 years in, and for some reason I'm noticing far more negatives than I am positives in all of this.

My son is healthy and overall a normal toddler behaviourally.

But I'm pissed off and stressed in some shape or form. Every. Single. Day.

Illogical tantrums. The relentless care. The constant variables. Will they sleep. Will they eat. Will they kick off if I offer the wrong banana. I get hit and screamed at. I cant even go for a shit without drama. I cant switch off.

We spent a fortune on transport and tickets for a toddler event at the weekend. Lasted 8 minutes before wandering off. And I'm sat there wondering why the fuck I bother.

And on top of that we are hemorrhaging 1k a month in nursery fees for the pleasure.

There are some nice moments, but I just don't feel that they outweigh the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis. On paper it just doesn't make sense at all.

Do I hate parenting, or just parenting a small kid?

The fact that people choose to have more absolutely blows my mind and convinces me that I must be wired differently 🤔

Anyone else here feeling the same or at the same age?

Thanks

I've not always had this issue, but recently been suffering from tight calfs during a run and some aching calfs after.

Nothing has changed from before the symptoms. Always ran regularly.

Am I not stretching enough? Or maybe the way I'm running?

Anyone else have this issue?

Thanks!

Does it ever end?? Every single day, several times over every little thing. Kid is nearly 3. I'm really not enjoying parenting.

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It's 100% one of the main reasons I'm one and done. I can't for the life of me understand why people go through this multiple times. I'm constantly pissed off and overstimulated.

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Cries for mum. "Mum is just in the kitchen, right there". Cries more. Mum comes in, Cries even more. Like what the actual fuck. The irrational and illogical screaming/crying is just infuriating some days.

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Can someone please tell me this ends, before I jump from a bridge. I am absolutely miserable.

My child is 3 years old.

Whilst there are joyful moments, I just find myself pissed off or stressed every single day. There is an ordeal or drama every day. Tantrums, whining, sleeping issues, illness etc.

I am happy, but in a measurement of happiness, I just don't feel happier. Any extra happiness this has brung is just replaced with daily stress and shadows it.

I didn't think that I would be reactive as I am to the daily stressors. Mess, noise and chaos just triggers me. These werent tested against before kids, so I had no idea how bad it would be.

I applied for the snip 3 months in and have now had the procedure. I knew another absolutely was not for me.

Is anyonese else in this situation? Im hoping its just their age that is the issue.

Thank you in advance.

Have a 3 year old.

I thought by now I would find trips away more enjoyable. But its just constant drama, whining and problems at every corner. I used to look forward to trips pre-kid and now I just dread them, its the same for the weekends.

Everything used to be simple and now everything becomes complicated. Cant go for a simple walk without there being some issue or tantrum. And now because everything is kid orientated, I've genuinely never been so bored.

The saying "its just parenting abroad" really rings true and I completely get it now.

I actually miss when we just went away and enjoyed everything for what it was, but now I find myself wanting the time to pass so I can get peace and quiet in the evening.

Anyone else felt the same? Has this changed with age?

I imagine this is just a 'full on' age and may alleviate over the years, but just hoping for other people's solidarity and experience.

And for reference - I'm one and done. Really not interested in having anymore.

Thanks for reading.

For context, 2.5 year old, fairly comfortable financially, both have good work life balance and overall from the outside, all seems good.

But, i was never keen on the idea of having a kid - My wife pushed for it and it was a make or break. I live in a country where everyone has multiple kids, so my thoughts was, "oh, how hard can one be then?"

I value (which I have now come to realise since having one) freedom, my autonomy, tidyness, peace and quiet and other things. I never truly realised how my took all this for granted and come to the conclusion I do have some sort of missed diagnosis somewhere.

I find myself grieving my old life constantly. I love my son and would do anything for him, but I just despise the constant and relentless weight of responsibility. The whining for some reason we dont know, the ordeals every day over trivial things. Im just stressed every day and I'm genuinely confused as to how people enjoy this and go "oh let's have another".

As a measurement of happiness, I dont feel happier or feel like have fulfilled some 'meaning and purpose in life'. I was perfectly happy before travelling and spending my weekends doing nothing autonomously.

People will suggest therapy and meds and ive already done both. Was on anti-depressants and neither removes the foundation of the contradiction in my personality. Im just not a natural caregiver or paternal person and even my therapist concluded this. Its more coping strategies than changing your entire persona. Its like telling a homosexual not to be a homosexual. I was never 100% on this and went against my intuition and thats on me.

OR, is it just the early years im having trouble with? Many of these things i grieve I guess eventually come back? Will that alleviate my thoughts?

I think what also bothers me the most is that, at this age, im never fully "off the clock". It is constant supervision and making sure they dont do anything stupid. Im really productive person and I want to get stuff done, and this all affects that massively. Again, this was never an issue before and brings me back to those thoughts.

I dont know, has anyone discovered theyre not a paternal person in the early years and these things have improved?

For reference - Of course im always there for my child, do what needs to be done, show them love and support my wife. But its sad to say I still feel like im dying inside and just putting on a brave face.

And, ive had the snip. My wife would like another but I 100% know i would fully regret another and im just simply not going down that road.

Thank you in advance for all your thoughts and advice.