u/gruntledCyclops

Hello!!!! I just wanted to express how much I love murdoku, and receive any other recommendations people may have.

I am audhd and for the last....year and a half I'd say I've had a special interest / hyperfixation in sudoku (it's hard for me to differentiate the feeling until a certain time period), and I got to a point where my whole body felt Wrong if it was a weekday and I hadn't done at least one sudoku. But, I was bored of them!! I could feel my brain working, but the relief of having one finished got smaller and smaller. Then, a co-worker showed me his murdoku book. He was shocked the next week when I told him there was also a site (he's glad to hear) and that I already bought the book and pre-ordered volume 2. This is such a great puzzle!!

I think I love murdoku so much because it has beautiful visuals, and the logic used is similar-but-different from regular sudoku (my FAVE puzzles are the ones with room-clues, i.e the zookeepers). I also love reading each suspect clue, and imagining little plotlines and relationships to make it more exciting (and remember clues better). I also still do every NYT puzzle game (except bee and tiles) every day, though it feels more like a "let's stretch before a big game" rather than something i LOVE.

I am a little worried that if I indulge in my love of murdoku, I'll wear it out too quickly. I've already completed every available online puzzle, most twice. I'm working through the book though my handwriting sucks so it takes longer, haha. When I was in highschool, I got this way about minesweeper, playing larger and larger maps until I got frustrated at the lack of dopamine and quit. Then I just had no hobbies for a short period until I found something else to fixate on (scooby doo for 6 months, SVU and SATC for a year, then scream movies)

If anyone has any fan-made puzzles, or similar puzzle game recommendations, I'd love to hear! I love logic puzzles deeply and I feel like doing a puzzle a day has been not just making me sharp in the mornings, but also better at explaining problems to other people. I don't want to burn this hobby with my broken brain :p

Hi all! Long story, but I have a duo costume to figure out on short term. Because of scheduling stuff with another event, we both are going to be wearing pink / big pink make-up, so a duo costume that is pink-forward would be best and easiest. Preferably 2 girls, but that part is not picky honestly. Please help!!

Hello!

I am planning to move out of my place early next year. I am autistic and I really struggle with change, I'm 25 and still live with my mum bc I've been focused on my work and medical issues. I currently have about 40 grand in savings, and I currently make around $2200 a fortnight. My plan at the moment is to save until the end of the year, do a big "new year new me" garage sale to downsize all my belongings, and move out.

One of my friends said he's been "in the rental trap" forever, and that if I can avoid renting ever then I should. But, I currently live with my mum and renting sounds like a good middle point between the two options. Should I rent or buy? What should I know if I buy? I feel like I can't even budget for it because I don't know how many hidden fees go into it, and I don't want to be taken advantage of in a bad deal.

I'm scared of wasting my money, of not accounting for enough bills / insurance / mortgage etc. I don't know what factors I need to be prepared for, or if I would have flexibility to move if there's any unfortunate surprises (i.e unliveable circumstance, bad neighbours, idk).

I also know renting is only going up, and there's been so much discussion lately about trying to make the market better for first-time buyers. I just want to be an adult in my own home and I don't know anything haha.

If it helps, I usually do really best making plans with checklists, flowcharts, etc. Long articles about tax circumstance can make sense in the moment, but I have trouble retaining things I can't explain in my own terms.

Hi reddit, hoping for a little insight from the OCD community as someone without it - i do have intrusive thoughts however and am aware of mental health struggles not always being conducive to someone's values.

My friend, Kitty, has OCD and generally does not externalise issues in a problematic way. We've been friends for 6 years, since I was 19 and she was around 22. We had a massive fight in November, and I thought we would never recover the friendship. 6 months later, it looks as though we are both interested in rekindling the friendship. I am wary, and want to rebuild a dear friendship with both awareness of her mental health and respect to my own experience.

Kitty and I got in a fight at pride in November, because I said hello and hugged her boyfriend's ex-roommate (moved out a year prior, roommate drama). She did not speak to me for 2.5 weeks, and tried to sweep it under the rug when she spoke to me again. I told her that it was frightening to disagree with her (she interpreted this as me calling her a scary person), that the initial argument felt controlling to me and the radio silence like a punishment. That I loved her and wanted to know that she wouldn't ghost me if she hated me. She couldn't say it. So I moved on with her as a peripheral friend I rarely saw, and accepted that our friendship would fade. She also stirred up drama a few months later, when I was smoking with our friend's GF and resting against her. She turned to our friend and went "you're okay with that?? I wouldn't be." until the friend got insecure, and the couple had a fight. It was pointless, stupid drama that I was amused by because we all know that I am deeply against cheaters.

My overall read of Kitty's issues with me are that she can be catty, and absolutely has issues with jealousy. Externalising her boundaries onto other people reads to me as a symptom of her OCD, like relationship anxiety + control over situations? The November drama was so catastrophic over a small issue that it just felt like...this is something deeply embedded in her. In the course of our friendship I have seen her have smaller arguments with people that result in holding a grudge, like a faux-pas at a birthday becomes a moral failing.

I've recently had a very difficult time with one of our oldest mutual friends - an intervention that went ignored, lying and addiction issues that has resulted in me no longer speaking to him. Kitty reached out to me to offer support and understanding, and suddenly it felt like our issues were chump change. She ghosted me and acted so irrational, but she never lied. I do miss her now, and she asked if we could go for dinner and catch up again. I would love to have her in my life again. But, I don't know how to build a new friendship with her when I also feel that I absolutely cannot trust her - I cannot tell her secrets, and I don't know if we will have another blow-out fight again. But she seems aware and embarrassed when she has these fights, and just doesn't communicate at all. I can't expect her to not have these control issues when OCD seems defined (by my understanding?) by a compulsive need to be in control. She's not going to wake up and just switch off these problematic thought patterns.

I hope this post makes sense and is within rules, I just wanted to have insight from others that share the same mental struggle as my friend so I can relate better and review the situation with clear eyes and boundaries. I am autistic, and often have trouble contextualising my relationships - whatever is happening Right Now is what is real, and I cannot trust my past understanding (or lack of) of any social situation. Any advice appreciated!

So, I made my last post to gather external thoughts and process. I appreciate the DMs! I had been debating sending Turtle a video message to express tone better and (mostly) calmly, which I did. I wasn't sure what my message would be until coming to Reddit so thanks. I ultimately went efficiency: 1 video covering the timeline of frustrating behaviour, and 1 video unpacking my overall emotions and intentions with him. He responded on the weekend.

I kept details light in my last post to avoid exposing anyone, and have been fairly quiet about the situation to protect his reputation. Now I am DONE.

The timeline, in short, that I presented him. Shows patterns of "thoughtless, socially-driven, hedonistic behaviour" as I put it.

• MAY 25: Intervention is held. None of the promises he made (promised me to be transparent and communicate, promised our friend that he would keep "Rules" i.e never drinking alone, no more shots, no outside alcohol in spaces)
• DEC 25: He ends up in a group scene at a bathhouse with my ex Mike (who unknowingly exposed me to herpes, didn't say for a week, and broke up with me in SEP 25). Turtle tells me this at a DVD night I was hosting with around 10 people. I am shocked and cannot process and something in me just switches off.
  • Note: I still don't know how to feel, it's been long enough since breaking up that I don't have investment in who Mike sleeps with. But my friend choosing to engage within the scene so soon after, telling me at a party and putting me on the spot is what is crazy to me. Even if they were in the same scene but did not physically interact would be a better option, he chose to engage. IDK how I feel about the event but the presentation of it is infuriating.
• FEB 26: He is late to my birthday, I do not care. I'm having fun.
• MAR 26: He texts me that he is coming to my gig. Then his laundry list of things to do first. He shows up 2.5 hours late, during the last band. Confirms he missed my first performance and that I'm up next. He goes outside to smoke and misses the second number. By the third number he is watching. I do not remotely care. I realise I used to. I realise I think poorly of him and I want to talk to him about it.
• APR 26: He posts a "joke" on his story that his mum getting a new phone should give HIM the new phone and she can have his old one. I tell him that is not a good look, and all of the last post kicks off. I have since also found out that his friend was annoyed and talking poorly of everyone who gave him in intervention bc he "didn't need that". I also find out that Turtle has told people he woke up thinking of alcohol, and drank red wine first thing upon waking (it had been in the fridge over a week so it would have been disgusting and off). There's also been lots of updates between him and another friend that tried to talk to him about his behaviour, which I won't speak on. Just a lot of projecting and excuses.

I expand on the above, and that it has lead to me viewing him as an unreliable person, who I know has lied to people (regarding sleeping with my ex and drinking), and that he can move forward with accurate information as to how his oldest friends feel about his lifepath. I also pointed out that sleeping with my ex aligns with a larger habit of sleeping with people's ex-friends, telling friends updates about people they've cut off, and texting the groupchat about how he blacked out and woke up with a friend's abusive ex bf on his couch. That it is socially driven behavior that might feel like "one big happy family" but that it was disrespectful to people's boundaries and experiences.

His response was that he was watching my videos on loop and taking notes to write the perfect response. He sent a 911 word text. A lot of nothingburger "I appreciate your effort on the intervention and I should tell you that, I love you" etc.

He also says that me calling him socially driven is damaging and inaccurate. That I can't expect him to ignore people in the clubs (I told him that he can be friends w whoever but he should have the presence of mind to not TELL people about their exes)

He says that he doesn't know what I'm upset about with not keeping up with his goals from the intervention, because "I only didn't keep up with communication, and I was never going to stick to the other goals forever". He also states that he NEVER drinks alone, and "limits" his shots and drug use.

And, my personal favourite...

"I never fucked Mike. He ate me out, I never touched him."

What a slam dunk right? What a genius. I was so, so angry that he would minimise it like that, that he lied to me point blank about drinking. I did some dance exercise. I ordered an insane amount of burgers and smoked. I slept on it. I had a dream about it. I woke up angry, played games for 2 hours until I was calm and grounded. I re-read his text and became furious again and blew up his phone.

I wasn't expecting any good response from him, as my issue is so embedded in his personality. I just wanted him to partially internalise, and I'd step back and watch his behaviour for 6-12 months to see if he made any life changes, even small. But this response, after "taking notes", is hilariously bad and he has dug his hole 30 feet deeper. I think I am, for the foreseeable future, done. Maybe we can be shallow friends in a year's time. I'm being completely open and transparent with everyone who asks, I'm not protecting his privacy any longer. There's plenty of detail I could get into if I didn't care about postlength. What a year.