u/hasura1001

Okay so first thing that bothers me. It is when i am sick (rarely) and really have to call out management presses me about a doctors note and threatens to write me up. While all my other coworkers tell me they are never asked for doctors note (which often they lie, i follow them on instagram, they say they are sick and post pictures of doing fun shit outside).
Second thing, other coworkers mainly one (my boyfriend lol) has a second job and often are 1 hour late to work because “got stuck at my other job”.
Those mfs often ask me to work on my days off and sometimes 6 days a week.
It started bothering me last week when my second job had a grand opening and i said i would be late but would not happen again since we just had to stay late for the first opening day. They gave me whole speech about it, ok.
Today, i was transporting a bed on my car, bed fell on the highway and i was stuck there for 3 hours trying to figure out the situation. Texted my job asking if maybe someone could help me with their truck, their answer? “Can you cover your shift” okay. I asked to be one hour late for obvious reasons. Was answered with short messages and attitude saying that it was absolutely not okay and i could come at least 30 mins late.
That just straightforward pissed me off. I walked and had a whole conversation with upper management on how the rules are not being applied the same to everyone (yes mentioned names) and that i really wanted to get the same kind of understanding other employees are having. And that it upsets me how they asking me work 6 days a week, but when i need understanding i am treated this way. Her answer “i understand where you are coming from but it is none of your business how we treat other employees, boundaries are different, i always follow the rules” i said “well we are all employees doing the same job for the same company, and honestly the rules are not being applied equally behind the bar”.
Like am i overreacting here?

Got hired at the new Charlotte location. Got curious and went to read the employee reviews on Indeed. Anyone has any experience working there?

I been seeing this guy for about 5 months. He is on the same friend group as mine. We took a beach trip this week. I started getting mad at him on how he would say yes to all the other girls and guys when they asked him to buy drinks for them, but when i would ask he would say no. I didnt ask him once to pay my food during the trip, but sometimes he would (twice in the whole trip tbh) and would press me and act passive aggressive about paying his next tab even if was at supermarket where he would buy himself a bunch of stuff and none for me, or even in bars where they would split towers of drinks that i didnt drink. We had a discussion about that and i thought he would understand. But right after the discussion we all went out on group and he asked me to buy himself a shirt. Ok. Next bar he opened a tab, he made a bunch of guy friends, i came to him and said “make sure you tip the bartender she was really nice to me” so he said in front of all the “bros” he met, “the tab is on you”. That lowkey felt kinda humiliating because he also didn’t even aknolowdge that me and him were together as a couple.
I got upset about that and he said “i was making shit up to make him look like an asshole, and that i was lying because he doesn’t remember doing that”.

Honestly we been having a lot of problems, where he doesn’t really want to commit to me, he never compliments me, i always initiate sex and affection, i make all the plans, i always drive to his house (he never been at my apartment on the 5 months we are together), even about sex we fight because he doesn’t do anything at all for me in bed and doesn’t care if i finish or not. Every time i bring up stuff (even if i am extremely nice trying to talk about it) he gets extremely mad , saying i ruin everything and asking “why are you like that” “why you doing this rn” “you are ridiculous “ and somehow i end up being the problem with him bringing up a lot of bad things about me taking away the focus from what i actually want to talk.
I also realized during the trip how he is so nice and talk about his personal stuff and life to all of our other friends, and he never talks to me like that, when i ask about his life he says he dont wanna talk about it, and a lot of times when i try to have conversations he just keep staring at his phone or says he is busy doing something. When towards our other friends and girls he is just genuinely so nice and patient, he kept being annoyed with me in front of my friends (which is normal on a daily basis with him, he often gets annoyed and irritated about small things i do) the whole trip, like when i wanted to play a song he just would shut me down and be irritated, and when i ask him for $1 do play the claw machine (they all know i love stuffed animals) he just said “shut up” and walked away (in front of my best friends).
We had a huge discussion last night where i said i feel like he is using me. He keeps saying i am overreacting and i cant just live in the moment.
I got so fucking mad told “today was the last straw. You are a fucking excuse of a man. And you are using me. You are a shitty person and an asshole. Thats why you are 32 years old and you are single. You will be single after this trip. You are immature and you dont have empathy.I dont feel anything else for you anymore”
He answered with “you the only person that thinks i am shitty”.
It sucks because all my friends think he is the nicest guy and i cant really talk to them about it since we are in the same friend group.
Today we woke up and are heading home, he is acting like we are fine and still together. I am acting distant.

UPDATE: we were stuck in the car going back home for 3 hours. He kept asking what was wrong with me, i said “i meant everything i said last night, i am done” he started saying “why” i told him everything about our relationship that been happening in the last months and how the trip was the last straw. He got defensive as usual and wanted to talk, then i said “i am done talking. I tried doing it for the last 5 months” and he kept getting angry and saying “you dont want to have a conversation, i do not understand why you are upset”, i said “it is useless talking with you and i dont care anymore, i already moved on in my head. And the fact that you say you dont understand just proves my point”. And he kept saying he didnt do anything wrong.
He dropped me off and i went home. It is finally over.

Started seeing this guy 5 months ago. He is on the same friend group that i am in.

Never been in a situation so complicated.

We always have the same argument about the same things and we break up and get back together ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I see myself doing all the emotional labor and effort in overall, i make the plans (tho he pays for that and never says no), i always come to his house (when i ask him to come over he either says he doesn’t want to drive and that he feels very comfortable in his house) he never came over to my house, i do all the psychical touch (when he does it is very small, vague, and awnkard), i always initiate sex (he never says no) but he doesn’t care if i cum or not (i have to ask him to finish me) and do not actually touch me or please me unless i ask during sex, i call him my boyfriend (and he doesn’t say no and just “goes with it”) but everytime we argue (always about his lack of effort towards me) he pull out the card “we not together, i cant be affectionate with you because i dont want to lead you because i am unsure about relationship feelings with you, you keep telling everyone we are dating and crossing my boundaries (i told everyone because he just seemed to go along with the boyfriend and relationship thing and never stopped me? So i genuinely thought we were in a relationship).

Every time we argue it is because i try to talk about his lack of effort and question things (questiong if it is just the way he is or whats the reason he doesn’t put effort in a couple things), he gets extremely avoidant and defensive and just start saying i am “exhausting” and keep putting pressure on him to define what we are, and that he can not figure out why he cant have relationship feelings with me. Even tho sometimes he breaks up with me saying i deserve better, or most of the times i walk away due the confusion and anxiety this causes me, we always end up back together and to the same cycle (we keep hanging out, i think we are in a relationship again due the acceptance of boyfriend allegations, i question his actions, we argue, break up, get back together ) he always freak out when i try to leave and try so hard to make me stay, (he is also jealous of me often, not in an abusive way tho).

Everything gets worse because all my friends on the friend group know about the whole toxic dynamic (i talk a lot) and now i just feel extremely anxious and awnkard around them.

We act like legit best friends, we spend all of our free time together, we laugh a lot and do a lot of fun things. When i cry or break down with struggles he comforts me and he cares. Last time we broke up he said “i am just trying to figure out my feelings about you, i do think you are beautiful and everything is good on paper, but i cant figure out why i dont have relationship feelings, sometimes i feel like i dont deserve it”. Everything is fine if i dont question deep things or us, it is basically impossible to communicate with him about without turning into an argument because he gets defensive and says “why are you doing this rn” “why are you being like that”. And everything just explodes. And he just end up nice and talkative after i get so stressed out and i break down in tears and spiral on my anxiety.

Everything is confusing and heavy rn. I do like him a lot. And i am trying so hard to be understanding and nice.

Started seeing this guy 5 months ago. He is on the same friend group that i am in.

Never been in a situation so complicated.

We always have the same argument about the same things and we break up and get back together ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I see myself doing all the emotional labor and effort in overall, i make the plans (tho he pays for that and never says no), i always come to his house (when i ask him to come over he either says he doesn’t want to drive and that he feels very comfortable in his house) he never came over to my house, i do all the psychical touch (when he does it is very small, vague, and awnkard), i always initiate sex (he never says no) but he doesn’t care if i cum or not (i have to ask him to finish me) and do not actually touch me or please me unless i ask during sex, i call him my boyfriend (and he doesn’t say no and just “goes with it”) but everytime we argue (always about his lack of effort towards me) he pull out the card “we not together, i cant be affectionate with you because i dont want to lead you because i am unsure about relationship feelings with you, you keep telling everyone we are dating and crossing my boundaries (i told everyone because he just seemed to go along with the boyfriend and relationship thing and never stopped me? So i genuinely thought we were in a relationship).

Every time we argue it is because i try to talk about his lack of effort and question things (questiong if it is just the way he is or whats the reason he doesn’t put effort in a couple things), he gets extremely avoidant and defensive and just start saying i am “exhausting” and keep putting pressure on him to define what we are, and that he can not figure out why he cant have relationship feelings with me. Even tho sometimes he breaks up with me saying i deserve better, or most of the times i walk away due the confusion and anxiety this causes me, we always end up back together and to the same cycle (we keep hanging out, i think we are in a relationship again due the acceptance of boyfriend allegations, i question his actions, we argue, break up, get back together ) he always freak out when i try to leave and try so hard to make me stay, (he is also jealous of me often, not in an abusive way tho).

Everything gets worse because all my friends on the friend group know about the whole toxic dynamic (i talk a lot) and now i just feel extremely anxious and awnkard around them.

We act like legit best friends, we spend all of our free time together, we laugh a lot and do a lot of fun things. When i cry or break down with struggles he comforts me and he cares. Last time we broke up he said “i am just trying to figure out my feelings about you, i do think you are beautiful and everything is good on paper, but i cant figure out why i dont have relationship feelings, sometimes i feel like i dont deserve it”. Everything is fine if i dont question deep things or us, it is basically impossible to communicate with him about without turning into an argument because he gets defensive and says “why are you doing this rn” “why are you being like that”. And everything just explodes. And he just end up nice and talkative after i get so stressed out and i break down in tears and spiral on my anxiety.

Everything is confusing and heavy rn. I do like him a lot. And i am trying so hard to be understanding and nice.