u/heavydrinker12

I work in IT for a large corporation. We're deploying a new version of software where the vendor changed a lot of the underlying infrastructure so we have to rebuild the whole thing. The first part of this is the design phase. We document everything and the design team (DT member) draws it all up and does whatever it is they do with it.

Well they start asking me about the ports the application uses because they need to know what ports to make sure are open on firewalls. It's a lot. The application is high availability so each server communicates with the other servers to keep information updated across all the servers. This data will never traverse a firewall. But for users accessing the application, it's just port 443 for the web interface. I tell the DT, there are about 100 ports to use depending on which server does what. None of that will touch a firewall because all the servers are in the same datacenter subnet. Well no, it HAS to be documented. That seems excessive to me because it just seems like it will never matter. Those servers only talk to each other and per vendor documentation, there CANNOT be a firewall in between them. I'm told STERNLY we have to have that info. ooooooooookay.

I create a spreadsheet with each server function and all the ports that server function uses to communicate with the other servers. The columns end up going to KK and the longest row is about 55 if i recall. It took me 2 days to research it all and create it. This is going to break the DT, i know it.

We get on our next meeting and I share the sheet out. the DT says AWESOME! just what i needed. I'll incorporate this into the design document.

My disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined. When I make a spreadsheet built to ruin your visio document and it doesn't, i've failed as a human being.

On our next meeting the DT presents the visio and it's woefully lacking in port representation. I point out he's missing some stuff. He says well i put what you had in the spreadsheet you provided. I said, uuhhhh....it goes to column KK. You need to scroll to the right.

He scrolled then said:

oh...oh!....OOHHH!!!! uuhhhh.... hmmm.....

silence. The smile slowly crept across my face. Yes, cameras were off for this meeting. more silence. The DT finally sighs heavily and says "well, uh....i'll need to figure out how to represent this. Um, is this REALLY how this works?"

I reply, "Yes, that is everything that is documented by the vendor. All of those ports are used for all of the application modules we have."

He says "ok...i'm gonna need.....some time."

you want ports? I got your ports right here buddy. My spreadsheets WILL ruin your day.