u/hello-you48

I’m dad for a 15 year old guy. Mentally he is “all there” but physically he has very limited motor skills. I don’t feel comfortable sharing much more online.

I assist with his bathing. He only wants me, not mom, cause I think he feels more comfortable with another guy.

One time while bathing he got an er-ction. Not surprising at his age. He was so embarrassed. I asked if he wanted to take a break but he said he was wet and cold and told me to just hurry up and finish so I did. And in the future when it happened I just did the same.

However the last time it happened and I was about to wrap up he asked if I could wash his privates again cause he still felt dirty. Now I thought nothing of it and felt bad cause I admittedly went very fast over that area and didn’t do a good job cause I was embarrassed. So I washed him there again and then finished up uneventfully.

A few hours later though he called for me and “confessed” that he only asked me to wash him there again cause it felt good being touched there. He even started crying and said it was just really hard to pleasure himself on his own.

I didn’t know what to say. I just said thanks for letting me know but that was inappropriate and I was only here to help him for a caregiving reason and I could not participate in anything s-xual. He said he knew and he was sorry. He asked if I was going to punish him. I just said I wasn’t mad at him but I had to think about how to handle this appropriately. He said he promised he wasn’t a freak. I said I know.

I don’t know what to do. I feel sorry for him. I remember being his age and the hormones and all. But I can’t be involved in that. Due to his age I’m not hiring anyone.

I thought about adult toys but I just don’t feel he will be able to manually use them well. Maybe something that vibrates or moves? Can I help get the device into position and then leave the room? Or is even that too far? I’m just throwing out ideas here.

He’s a 13 year old boy. First night we had dinner and he tried to take it back to his bedroom to eat. We convinced him to eat it at the dinner table and he did but he ate pretty fast and then asked to be excused so we let him.

He’s really quiet and spends a lot of time in his room. I guess that’s normal for a teenager but I don’t know him well so I get kinda nervous on what he’s up to in there. But I try to respect his privacy also.

He just seems to avoid us as much as he can and it’s hard to get him to say anything. We try to be nice and kind and give him some space too. I just almost feel like he’s scared of us? Seems a little old for that but I guess I don’t know what he’s been through. We try to make him feel safe here.

Any tips? He’s only been here a few weeks so I guess it will just take some time.

I’m trying to keep details to a minimum as I’m uncomfortable sharing too much on the internet. But he’s fift een and this disability has not been since birth but occurred about a year ago due to an incident. It affects his motor skills. I know it’s not much details but all I feel comfortable sharing.

He needs significant assistance bathing. I’m his dad and I usually handle that as he feels more comfortable with another guy than his mom doing it.

One time while bathing he got an er-ction. He was so embarrassed. I explained at his age it happens a lot and doesn’t mean anything and it’s actually a great sign that everything still works down there. He seemed relieved. I asked if he’d rather take a break but he said he was getting cold so he’d rather me just hurry up and finish and get it over with quickly. So I did. And when it happened other times I did the same, not bringing attention to it and finishing up quickly and he seemed fine with that.

But yesterday his body reacted and I did the same as I usually do when that happens but as I was finishing he asked me if I could wash “it” again. I was kind of embarrassed because I did go over that area really quickly cause I figured it was uncomfortable for the both of us. But I figured I probably could’ve washed it a little better and cleaner so I did as he asked and cleaned it again a little more thorough this time. I didn’t think anything of it.

But a few hours later he “confessed” to me that he actually asked me to do that cause it felt really good when I touched it.

He was almost crying and said he was sorry and he promised he’d never do that again. He admitted it’s really difficult for him to pleasure himself with this disability but he still has the urge and I guess it got so strong it made him do something he shouldn’t have.

He asked if I was going to punish him. I said no but that’s not something I can help him with or be involved with and it’s a very important boundary that we can’t cross. He said he understood.

I’m not sure what to do now. I honestly feel bad for him. He’s struggling to deal with this and he’s young and he just didn’t think it through.

I want to help him in some way but I’m not sure what I could do that would be appropriate. I thought about talking to him about seeing if we could find a toy that would help him. But I’m not even sure if that is too far. I guess we could talk to a medical professional I just don’t want to get in trouble and I think we are both embarrassed about it.

Any tips would be appreciated. Trying to keep appropriate boundaries while trying to be understanding of my son’s struggles. Please be gentle I’m just trying to do the right thing.

I’m dad and I have a six year old son. He still likes to crawl in our bed from time to time and I don’t mind.

Yesterday he had crawled in our bed in the middle of the night. And when I awoke the next morning he was snuggled up tight with me.

But what made it awkward was I had morning wood and he was so close “it” was kinda pressed up against him. Of course I immediately move to a different position but it was still awkward. I don’t think he noticed though as he was still asleep.

Another time he climbed in our bed in the morning and as he was crawling into position his hand landed right on my wood. Just for a moment and then he kept moving but obviously awkward for me. He didn’t seem to notice or react in any way.

I like cuddling and snuggling with him so I hate to ban him from our room. And he doesn’t seem to notice. But I do want to keep things safe and appropriate and not make him uncomfortable.

My wife says I’m overreacting and it’s fine. That he’s a boy with the same parts and even at his age he’s noticed his sometimes “sticks up” (as he calls it) so even if he did notice mine he probably wouldn’t care and at his age wouldn’t think it’s s-xual.

I guess that makes sense but I still think I should try to be more modest somehow. I’m not sure what to do. Tips?

He’s 13 and mostly nonverbal.

I was scratching/rubbing his back today as he really likes when I do that. Not going into too much detail for privacy reasons, but during it he very clearly got an er-ction that was obvious.

He didn’t act inappropriately towards me or anything. And I understand that can happen randomly especially at his age. He didn’t really acknowledge it at all or try to adjust or cover it up.

I couldn’t help but wonder if my touch could’ve been a trigger though so I stopped cause I didn’t want to blur any boundaries with him. He got pretty upset that I stopped though (I don’t think he knew why) so I felt bad.

I’m not sure how to handle this in the future? I don’t want to teach him his body is bad or I can’t be near him when this happens or he has to get away from me or anything. At the same time I feel awkward if I’m causing his body to respond, even if it’s out of his control and not s-xual at all.

Any tips?