u/iblamemyselfonly

I love being affectionate, so why do I get awkward when it actually happens?

This is something I genuinely don’t understand about myself 😭

I’m a very touchy person with people I genuinely love/care about. In my head, I love the idea of hugs, holding hands, sitting close, little affectionate gestures, etc.

But when I’m actually in that situation IRL, I suddenly get awkward and anxious and don’t know what to do with myself 😭

It’s not that I don’t want the affection. Sometimes I actually want it badly, but my brain just goes into overthinking mode the second it happens.

Does anyone else have this weird contradiction? Like being naturally affectionate in your head but getting shy/anxious when it’s actually happening?

I love being affectionate, so why do I get awkward when it actually happens?

This is something I genuinely don’t understand about myself 😭

I’m a very touchy person with people I genuinely love/care about. In my head, I love the idea of hugs, holding hands, sitting close, little affectionate gestures, etc.

But when I’m actually in that situation IRL, I suddenly get awkward and anxious and don’t know what to do with myself 😭

It’s not that I don’t want the affection. Sometimes I actually want it badly, but my brain just goes into overthinking mode the second it happens.

Does anyone else have this weird contradiction? Like being naturally affectionate in your head but getting shy/anxious when it’s actually happening?

I think I just realized why I keep ruining things before they can actually become something.

I have this weird habit of getting attached to people and then the moment I feel like they're getting attached to me too, I start pulling away.

Not because I don't like them.

Actually, that's the problem. I like them too much, and suddenly I start noticing every little change in their behaviour. A slightly dry reply becomes “they're losing interest.” One cancelled plan becomes “they don't really care.” If they take longer to reply, my brain has already written an entire story about how they've found someone better.

And instead of asking them what's wrong, I just become distant myself.

Then they notice I'm distant, they become distant too, and eventually we both stop trying.

And I sit there thinking, “see, I knew they'd leave.”

I've done this more than once now, and honestly, it's getting embarrassing because I can literally see the pattern while I'm doing it and still can't seem to stop myself.

Has anyone else ever realized they were accidentally creating the exact ending they were scared of?

I think I just realized why I keep ruining things before they can actually become something.

I have this weird habit of getting attached to people and

then the moment I feel like they're getting attached to me too,

I start pulling away.

Not because I don't like them.

Actually, that's the problem. I like them too much,

and suddenly I start noticing every little change in their behaviour.

A slightly dry reply becomes they're losing interest.

One cancelled plan becomes “they don't really care.” If they take longer to reply, my brain has already written an entire story about how they've found someone better.

And instead of asking them what's wrong, I just become distant myself.

Then they notice I'm distant, they become distant too, and eventually we both stop trying.

And I sit there thinking, see, I knew they'd leave.

I've done this more than once now, and honestly, it's getting embarrassing because I can literally see the pattern while I'm doing it and still can't seem to stop myself.

Has anyone else ever realized they were accidentally creating the exact ending they were scared of..??

Mine's kinda embarrassing. 💀

After the breakup, I made an unknown account just to follow him. I never texted him, never interacted... I just wanted to know how he was doing from a distance.

The funny part? I still don't know if he figured out it was me or not. But that same week, I got blocked. 😭

Around 3 months later, he unblocked me, but neither of us ever reached out. It's been about 1.5 years now, and we've never talked since the breakup.

Looking back, making that account is probably the pettiest thing I've done. 😭

What's yours? Please tell me I'm not the only one. 🥀

I've been wondering about this lately.

Sometimes relationships don't end with a proper goodbye. One conversation just... stops. No one reaches out again, and somehow that's the ending.

Do you think closure is something we receive, or is it something we tell ourselves so we can finally let go?

I've been wondering about this lately.

Sometimes relationships don't end with a proper goodbye. One conversation just... stops. No one reaches out again, and somehow that's the ending.

Do you think closure is something we receive, or is it something we tell ourselves so we can finally let go?

Is it just me, or is anyone else pretending they've moved on from someone when they actually never did?

They've already moved on and are in another relationship. You do everything you can to ignore them, distract yourself, and convince yourself you're over it... but deep down, you just aren't.

Does it ever actually go away, or do you just learn to live with it?

There's one conversation I've been avoiding for years. Every time I think about finally saying everything, I stop myself because I don't know if I'm looking for closure or just reopening old wounds.🥀