Stopped lexapro 1.5 months ago, decided to get back on
Prior to stopping cold turkey, I was on Lexapro for 5.5 years since covid struck. My depression got unbearable and I sought professional help. Lexapro helped me so much - it helped me get out of my shell, helped increase my tolerance for external and internal triggers, and so on. I was happy on Lexapro. I could still feel on Lexapro, it didn't numb me or anything. I was extremely devastated when my cat got cancer and passed.
Recently I decided to stop because I was getting acid reflux and getting so bloated I couldn't breathe properly. In the past 5.5 years I've gained 10kg (22 lbs). I was extremely lazy and didn't feel like doing anything. So I thought why not try stopping my medication since I've moved out and have my own place and more peace now.
When I first stopped everything was fine and dandy. I felt I got my clarity of mind back and I even started writing books again. I got more energetic and less lazy. I had brain zaps but they went away after a month or so.
However, fast forward 1.5 months and I am just wallowing in sadness. I've had several crash outs and almost burned bridges with my close friends. My tolerance for people, noise, etc is extremely low. Everything makes me mad. Everyone makes me angry for no reason. Then my sister moved to Japan and I have not been okay.
The house seems so empty and so depressing. My husband works a lot. He has to, because I'm a freelancer and haven't had much work lately. My creativity well has dried up. I try to occupy myself still. I play in a dnd campaign twice a week, I host board game nights weekly. And yet I am still depressed.
I can't take this anymore. Nothing seems to be working, nothing helps me from feeling this sense of dread, sadness, and anger. I'm going back on lexapro and contacting with my doctor to perhaps try another med that will not cause bloating or weight gain.
Have you tried going off lexapro/any other med and gone back on it? Would love to hear your experiences.