Roommates bf basically living with us. Im spiraling. 🫠
Ive needed to get this out for a while now, and i dont fully know if this is the exact place to do that, but I figured it fits somewhat. About a year ago at this point me and my girlfriend finally got a little place together for rent and it was great for us. And it was the first time in my life I didn’t have the dishonor of living with a man in my space.
Fast forward to 2 months ago a friend recently got out of a breakup with her ex partner and we let her move into the trailer. Shes my girlfriends longterm bestfriend and I do think shes cool. And i wasn’t really bothered by this fact, she helps out, she cleans, and shes a homebody like the rest of us. We kept talking about how we finally have a girlspace and a girl trailer and how nice it would be, since said roommate has always lived with men as well.
Well a few days later her new boyfriend starts coming around, a lot. He started out being there when shes there, and they always stay in her room so it also wasn’t too bothersome, but now he is literally ALWAYS always here. Turns out said boyfriend was about to become homeless due to the house he stayed in being taken from him and his father. I feel like i am losing my god damn mind.
Sometimes me and my girlfriend come home and he is literally already at our house when our roommate (his gf) is at work. He sleeps here every single night. On my days off, he will come here when he gets off work and its just us in the house and i get just an internal dread feeling. Our roommate has thanked us a few times for being kind about the situation with him because me and my gf can both be pushovers and we understand he is going through a rough situation but when is the line drawn? My girlfriend, who i love dearly, i know will not stand up for us. She is extremely kind hearted and doesn’t know how to make boundaries and i know if i’m the one to talk to the roommate things would be weird and crumble, and i dont want to make things tense between my gf and her bestfriend.
But why are we supposed to be some random mans support household? I can tell he also feels some sort of guilt about it too, as he cleans semi often and will buy us stuff occasionally. He is a really nice, awkward guy. But its not that i just did not sign up for this and this is the third time i have moved somewhere and a man has ended up moving in not on my terms, but another roommates and im just exhausted.
I wish people would be able to understand how uncomfortable it is for some of us to be in these situations. Not even just as a lesbian woman, but as a woman period. I am trying to be chill about it and make it seem like its not as upsetting as it actually is but i have been trying to battle with anxiety and depression for the past couple of years and not being able to be home alone and decompress because i share a space with some guy who i don’t even know all of a sudden just makes me feel off, and everything in my life is starting to feel off due to this little thing. Its making me cold towards everything and I know it needs to be addressed i just dont know how to go about it.
They said they are looking for a place but there have been no updates, despite me sending zillow links for affordable places, which has been my subtle hint of “hey, please do something” lol.
Bonus Complaints: me and my girlfriend are both the type that prefer not wearing pants around the house due to comfort, and as soon as that option goes out the door i get grouchy. lol.
I know this is a lot and i dont expect any responses, i just figure if anyone would understand my resentment towards all of this it would be a group of lesbians.