u/inqvietude

*hope I put the right flair!

Hi! I am interested in teaching in Nunavut and would like to hear from those who have taught there as new teachers. I graduated this year (yay!) and have already completed a teaching contract in special education, although my degree is in TESL.

I'm confident in my teaching skills, but of course, I understand that teaching in Nunavut has its challenges and can be quite difficult. As a new teacher with little experience beyond my recent teaching position, subbing, and my four student-teaching placements, I would like to hear how it went/is going for those who went through with it despite having little experience, too.

I am open to hearing other people's experiences, of course!

Thanks!! :)

Don't know what to flair this.

I have been spending my nights up until early in the morning trying to find hidden accounts, log into emails, losing my sanity and health because I just know there's more somewhere.

I've been waking him up (we are long distance atm and have a big time difference) and feeling mean for it although I feel entitled to him being available to answer questions and/or console me since it's his fault we're here.

But yesterday, after doing it again, a bubble popped in my head and it's increasingly growing.. I cannot live like this. I am not happy, I won't be forgetting any of this, and since he's at the beginning of trying to get rid of the addiction and has already lied to me and his therapist, I know he is capable of pretending to do the work when he is not.

I believe in his desire to stop. I also know him and have been with him long enough to know he is avoidant and minimizes big things, lies, and omits.

I want a happy fall. I want to go on cozy dates wearing cute sweaters and receiving a boo basket from someone I know is true to me. I want to have no fear and no mistrust. I want good sleep and happy wake ups. I will not be getting these if I remain in contact with him. My fall will be a fall of sickness, worries, loneliness.

He suggested I stop speaking to him because he is bringing me on a rollercoaster I have no control over and no agency in, which is true. He said this in a very selfless way, as he'd rather we did speak, but feels terrible for the state of my mental health.

And today I'm feeling more and more like I really just should stop speaking to him, even though it saddens me and I worry he gets triggered from it. However I cannot continue living like this.

We can speak again of course, but I think I need a mental reset. I need to acknowledge the intense trauma I'm living as what it is rather than putting my pain to the side to support him and be empathetic.

Today, I feel closer to choosing myself and my well-being. I feel a bit less guilty for considering it.

I think I'll be ok ❤️‍🩹

For context, my partner and I have been dating for five years on my first D-Day. I found out that he was a porn addict, paid for videos and pictures online, texted escorts and had multiple dating app accounts. I was willing to forgive if he went to therapy, though it very much traumatized me.

However, I have since found out that he actually met up with people and did sexual acts with them and I posted something about that a few weeks ago.

Obviously re traumatized, I question my reality and I question if he's a psychopath, I question if he loves me if he doesn't, I feel empathy because I know that if it's an addiction, then it's painful for them as well, but I do not understand how someone can do that to someone and claim they love them.

I am worried that I will never enjoy sex with him specifically again. The past few times we have had sex, it was ok at first, and then I get in my head sort of disgusted. I get images in my mind like the pictures that I saw, the details that I know. and I just don't want to participate or at least I am not enthusiastically enjoying the experience and kind of just trying to push the thoughts away from my mind.

It also sucks bc I'm experimental and like to be adventurous in bed but that's just been completely ruined, but only with him and only bc of what he has done. Certain acts I will never do again, never suggest again, only bc I know he wanted to do that/did that w others. But if it was another person, I'd be ok. So it's saying goodbye to a huge part of my sexuality...

Has anyone experienced this and have this feeling go away and be able to enjoy intimacy again or is this a kind of thing that will follow me forever? This is the kind of thing that concerns me regarding remaining in this relationship because I do love him. I believe in his ability to heal. He is showing me the signs that he wants to heal he's going to therapy. He is being very understanding and there for me when I need him in terms of spiraling, etc., but I just don't want to be in a relationship where I'm not able to enjoy sex and where I compare myself unnecessarily because of his actions.

I don't want to suffer like this and throw away my sensuality bc of this trauma I never asked for.

I would love to hear insights on how some of you may deal with this or have dealt with this. Thank you so much.❤️

Long story short - found out my boyfriend of 5 years was addicted to porn (spent $ to watch, onlyfans, texted people and escorts) in March.. I've been on r/loveafterporn since then.

Found out 3 days ago that he actually met up with people from Grindr and did sexual acts with them. Found this sub today.

I was willing to be around for therapy and him trying to get over the porn addiction but this exceeds what I can handle. I feel dirty, violated, disgusted, my reality is completely distorted (I am a woman and he never said anything about men/trans people). We had family plans, everything.

I am struggling with looking at him as the person I knew and then realizing that I never knew him. And I'm so... I don't even have the words. The messages, pictures I saw. He sent photos of himself, his body, videos that were sent to me as well.. nothing is sacred clearly, and I just cannot agree with the idea that he loves me despite those actions. It's just impossible. You don't do that to someone you love and care for...

How do you accept it's over? I find myself wanting to extend talking to him.. the idea of blocking him forever hurts me so badly. That was my person but I was not his. I am not ok.

How can I process this? It doesn't make sense.

I genuinely feel like I'm in another universe all of a sudden. The way it makes me feel is dangerous to my wellbeing. I just can't accept this is real.

Hi,

I posted yesterday about how I found out my partner physically cheated on me and I found out by his Grindr account.

I want to block him. When I speak to him I just spiral and cry. But an hour without speaking and I'm able to recenter myself.

However I can't bring myself to actually block him. It feels like really letting go of the man I love(d), like confirming he doesn't exist. It's really hard for me to come to terms that who I speak to now, is not the person I fell in love with.

Does anyone have advice? How can I encourage myself to do it and not look back?

We were meant to go on vacation. I told him I want to go regardless because I deserve to. He said I can go and he can send me money for food etc and I can go alone, or he can come and stay elsewhere but still be around for the paying things aspect.

Obviously if I block him I can't get that. He is also going to be paying for my therapy.

Any advice is appreciated, thank you❤️

He made it seem like he never met anyone; only used apps and sites and checked escort websites to jerk off. Ha. Logged into his somehow still existent 'just-to-look' grindr account, password not even different from any of his accounts.

He sent photo pics. Of his face. And nudes. Invited people over. Bought them ubers. Valentine's day, too. Took drugs.

I should have known but I needed the proof. I have it now.

I am in shock and so hurt. So disgusted. What the fuck?

It's done. I don't care. No more pretending to be someone he is not. I know now. Whatever he is, I don't want anything to do with it. He did not have to involve me in his games.

I'm glad I found proof. We were about to go on vacation together.

Oh my god. Just, oh my god.

The prevalence of porn addiction is so shocking and disgusting. I didn't realize how bad it was and how many people have it until I experienced my dday and researched. The Reddit subs glorifying cheating fantasies, "gooner" language (weird as hell), the many sites that I never knew existed but are so easily available.

I started going on dates w a guy after deciding that no contact with my PA was best. Lo and behold, this guy couldn't finish unless he did it to himself. The reason why? Because he did it so much! How exciting...

I'm back in contact with my PA and I have lots of love for him. But I cannot, at the moment, imagine having sex with him without feeling like crying or being in my head. Plus never knowing what he's really doing, etc.

I am disappointed and don't even want to consider dating in general. I'd rather be alone than be a participant in this sick world of cheating and selfishness. What a world.

I know not all men are porn addicts of course. I just do not wish to sift through them. One of my boyfriends when I was younger would watch porn in bed with me while I would sleep and wouldn't stop even after I asked him to. Today, he can't finish during sex (I know this bc we had reconnected). Long term dysfunction all due to a porn addiction that started when we were teens!!!

All these experiences put together are such a wake up call and turn me off from seeking a relationship. :(

Hi! I realize this might be a shot in the dark, but I will ask in case anyone does know - I'm interested in applying for ATC in the Montreal region, but there are no postings for the region atm.

Do new postings for different regions show up regularly, or are there long, dead periods? I ask because I don't want to waste too much time either; I understand the application process isn't quick, so if it's best for me to apply to another region, I'll consider it. Just not so great to have to travel there.

Thanks!

Hi! I bought a ticket for The Strokes in Toronto but have since decided that was a stupid and impulsive purchase. I want to sell it but it's only letting me sell it at 10$ less than what I paid for it?

Is there anything I can do about this :-((?