PSA This Job Isn't Worth Dying For [Immigration]

I had quit an immigration removal defense gig circa Easter. The firm could be best characterized as a high turnover sweatshop largely effective at subsidizing the owner's (and his baby momma) lifestyle creep while treating all staff (attorneys and not) as disposable. I was hired as a trio of new attorneys, and I was the last man standing of the trio after 90 days. My supervisor and I tended to get on quite well as "vaguely unhappy with existence" gay singletons trying to make the world suck slightly less for immigrants. He labored as co-dependent, self-destructive Atlas putting in long hours on the phone (see my old thread here for a glimpse into our work culture). His willingness to do more with less, never take a vacation, and half-ass his health issues (adding 20# per year is not sustainable over a decade; the CPAP isn't a closet decoration; "6pm and still working" white claws aren't a great look) made Bob Cratchit look like a happy, respected employee with a real work-life balance.

I eventually was cracking mentally when my quasi-parental grandfather finally died (my mother and father both died young from an agonizing cancer and ALS, respectively) with no time to mourn/reflect/breathe, a sense of perpetual loneliness in my life, and work that felt like a deceptive sham on vulnerable people. Trial volumes were nonstop, and staffing was cut to the bone due to cost savings and turnover. I left before my notice was up when I saw my hearings were able to be covered. My supervisor still threatened a bar complaint over a phone call after I left the office. I hung up immediately, verified with my state that it was unlikely to amount to much, and never spoke to him again. Given firm dynamics, the bar complaint threat was likely the owner's idea, as the owner had an aversion to speaking with departing attorneys.

I recently got off the phone with former colleagues in "detention alley." My supervisor is dead at the ripe age of 35. The owner began calling around to current and former attorneys. Staff are, as far as we know, still in the dark. We strongly suspect the owner is panicking (as he does with any significant staff change) on how to replace "I have a toxic absence of boundaries" Atlas.

PSA: This job isn't worth working yourselves to death for. His immigrant clients are still turbo-fucked. The primary concern now isn't celebrating his wins or (demonstrated, if self-harmingly flawed) dedication. It's his replacement and redistribution of his cases.

My spicy take: Our cog-like role severely limits our ability to do much more than process through a system. Reforming (or smashing) systems as needed happens through other channels. Depressingly, the turbo-fucked clients aren't really all that more turbo-fucked than they were yesterday.

I will go down most likely for the funeral. Despite the bad note we ended on, I would like to see some of my former colleagues (most of whom have moved onto other firms) again. There was so much professional and personal misery that year, I almost need my own closure.

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u/james_the_wanderer — 12 hours ago
▲ 64 r/sushi

Nigiri/Sashimi/Makimono South Dakota (Sushi Masa, Sioux Falls)

I've lived around the world. In terms of sushi, the best place I have lived is Hong Kong. It's an obsession there with restaurants offering air-flown delights from Japan. Have only visited Japan.

Moving here...I am shocked to find this in SD. House-made tamago. Akami that eats like chu-toro. Some of the best miso soup I have ever had (he basically serves it as a sort of slow cooked stew with chunky potato and rough cut onion). Imo dango is a rare find stateside, as are homemade gyoza (vs frozen ajinomoto from a bag) or takoyaki.

The decor is a throwback to a Showa era sushi-ya (think lots of off-white and light woods). Closest comparison I can think of rn is Yamaguchi in Port Washington, NY.

The owning couple hails from Hokkaido. Wife oversees the kitchen while Husband is our sushi chef. They're not kids, and their retirement will likely make the local paper as a blow to the culinary scene. Somewhat unusually (and pleasantly!), staff tend to stay a long time. In my years visiting, typically the wait staff hang around for about 2 years, and they tend to really care. I miss them when they go but understand it's time to move on.

u/james_the_wanderer — 6 days ago

US-FL - Family Trust Issues (notice, SNT, family politics, etc)

IAAL, but not a Florida lawyer or a trust/estate lawyer.

Maternal grandad died in January (let's say Jan 15 for ease). He had a trust. Grandma predeceased a few years ago. Assets include some quantity of millions (I recall minimum $5m in 2011, and that's been invested for the last 15 years, so god knows what number we're looking at now) liquid assets, a house (est. 800k-1m), a very low mileage Tesla 3, and about $18k in gold jewelry (I weighed it years ago when he inventoried it - approx 4.5oz equivalent of .999 gold).

His four children are my Aunt (Trustee 1), Uncle (Trustee 2), my mother (deceased 2011), and Uncle 2 (cognitively impaired).

The longstanding OG plan included my sister and I stepping into our mother's share per stirpes.

Grandad dicked around for years about doing a Special Needs Trust (SNT) for Uncle 2 (receiving a slew of public benefits in NYC after damage from an AIDs-opportunistic brain infection left him functionally unable to hold a job). My lawyer cousin (subject of this article: https://www.thedailybeast.com/top-treasury-lawyer-quits-in-disgust-over-donald-trumps-massive-18b-theft/) hooked him up with a T&E firm in Palm Beach County, FL to assist with a review and "minor" changes - this review taking place while actively infected & questionably compos mentis 48 hours before he was sent to the hospital (and eventually hospice) unconscious. Lawyer cousin is the son of Aunt/Trustee 1.

Some of the "changes" includes bequests to grand- and great-grandchildren of unknown sizes. (My sister & I suspect there as been resentment among our cousins for receiving inheritances from our parents...despite the whole "our divorced parents died very young from cancer and ALS" caveats along with the major life disruptions attendant with protracted brutal illnesses). Such a change disproportionately and hypothetically favors the children and grandchildren of Trustee 1 & 2 (incl lawyer cousin's 3 kids). Uncle 2 (gay), myself (also gay), and my sister (married, het, but reluctant given that most of our family is now buried) have no children.

Another fun dynamic - the trustees despise Uncle 2 because Uncle 2 has no filter about his...vocal political distaste for their conservatism. Uncle 2 was a...late in life baby who got a considerably more comfortable, hands off childhood than the older three. There's also, I suspect, quite a bit of homophobia (Uncle 2 and I are both gay, and the deliberate sidelining/2nd class citizen relation dynamic is obvious). While Grandad never set up a SNT for Uncle 2, apparently a SNT may be formed within/subsidiary to the main trust with the consent of the prospective SNT beneficiary (Uncle 2). Problem is that Uncle 2 doesn't trust his siblings as far he could throw them, and they're talking to each other via lawyers.

It's been over 6 months since Grandad passed. I am surprised that the law firm overseeing the trust has not issued a formal notice of a trust's existence, a copy of the instrument, a statement of beneficiary rights/entitlements, or a statement of the trust assets/corpus. I'd be surprised if his passing/funeral (which we all attended) + extremely general knowledge of some kind of trust would "count" as constructive notice under FL law. Uncle 2's discussions have not been particularly fruitful on this front - he claims to not have received a copy of the trust and to have received four different figures (not shared with me) that have left him wary and unsure.

Other nonsense - Uncle/Trustee 2 is holding onto the gold personally. I doubt that will be accounted for (it would be fairer to sell everything for melt and distribute than for him to hoard it in the attic for his daughters that saw Grandma/Grandad as golden geese.

The house is a construction-value only asset in a gated golf community with pretensions of upgrading itself to the elite stature of clubs like Mar-a-Lago. This comes with significant carrying costs in club dues, dining minimums, golf fees, and maintenance fees. The house was just pulled from the market after 45 days at approximately 1.32 million. The (literal) next door neighbor is selling for $825k (Grandad's place as slightly more modern, but not $500k more modern). Aunt/Uncle 1 have been salty for years that Grandad sold his NY home in 2014 for what they considered to be a fire sale price, and I suspect they're trying to "right" this financial "cosmic wrong" but jesus. This FL home is a white elephant for the estate to carry 5 minutes more than it has to.

Anywho, I am wondering if I should request notice & accounting or perhaps start consulting a trust litigator. Prosecuting a law suit is a last resort (I know how long and expensive they are). Family relations have been very weak for years, so there aren't a lot of emotional pulls at this point. I just want a low-drama, fair cash out for myself/sister/Uncle 2 from what's been a very "complicated" family.

A long while ago, my mother on her death bed asked me to make sure we got her fair share. While she was always a bit fearful/paranoid, I am not thrilled to see that she may be vindicated now 15 years later.

Edit: I am increasingly of the opinion that corporate trustees are underrated.

u/james_the_wanderer — 21 days ago

Condo lift/elevator situation that bad?

Pre-covid ex traveler/resident to the Kingdom, first time Pattaya visitor - this time with a friend who is...looking forward to the local amusements. It'll be Friend's first time outside North America. Both of us are late 30s.

I was scoping out Unixx/Edge/Base/VT6 condos for late Nov-early Dec. VT6 is already booked up with the leftover 2bdrm units' reviews mentioning severe moisture problems and incredibly worn furniture for the rate of 30,000 baht for 5 nights. While LK metro probably is the best "vibe" for us vs WS & Soi 6, the Edge and Base seem to have decent-ish airbnb reviews but Google reviews reveal a lot more problems e.g. roaches @ Base and elevator queues. Unixx gets similar complaints. Throw in check-in weirdness, absentee landlord/host issues, and functionally unusable pools (i.e. comically few seats given the number of units in the complexes), and I have doubts. Unfortunately like most Americans, I am not time-rich, and 15-45 minute queues to make a 7/11 run or bringing a new friend back sound fucking awful.

With diamond status, I'd normally just book in at the Hilton, but 9.5k baht per room is fucking outrageous when I can get the Waldorf or Siam Kempinski for that in BKK. I can afford it, but the value-for-money isn't there. (Not the sort of destination/boys trip where we'll be on the property for 20+ hours a day).

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u/james_the_wanderer — 1 month ago