u/jamescodesthings

tldr; Every person I know who's medicated said "it's life changing", I didn't really know how intense it would be.

Rough facts:

- I'm 35M
- Diagnosed December '25
- It's the end of Day 3 of Titration onto Elvanse, first step is 20mg for 2wk.
- My partner was diagnosed and medicated about 5 years ago
- I started my Journey 1.5-2y ago

Something that's stuck with me, is that everyone I know who has been through this process has the same to say about it; "It's life changing".

I don't think I really knew what that meant, and how that would be until Sunday.

It's such a succinct summary of the intense rollercoaster, pulled through a bush backwards shit I've just been through.

I did not understand, and would like to elaborate on how this hit me, maybe it helps someone else get it, maybe it just helps me process:

I went in apprehensive; I've taken recreational stimulants, I self medicated with nicotine and caffeine, so it can't be much different right? and; I don't suffer as bad as my partner, so maybe it's gonna be mild for me?

- 30-45 minutes after my first dose; my inner monologue was silent. I'd never considered it loud or overwhelming. I thought it being quiet in the past meant I wasn't still suffering, that's the quiet everyone's talking about; it's still there just quiet and I can shake it off. That's not it, my inner monologue went MIA, silent, gone.
- 1h-3h the tension in my shoulders and chest was gone. I didn't even realise it was there until it's gone.
- I suffer from Crohn's disease and Fibromyalgia; significant reduction in symptoms, the constant pain is nominal, and what I do feel I can ignore; or the other way around, I can't focus on it. No real issues with my IBD, I feel lots of control.
- by 3h I realised I'd been suppressing my emotions, tamping my feelings down, to struggle onward. For years, forever really. I realise how much I'd not told my partner. I realise how broken I was, and how I'd not known it. Sunday was the first time I'd been able to talk to her about it, to be fully vulnerable, and it was absolutely because all of my previous anxiety and deep seated, well constructed defense mechanisms; were gone.

Day 1 was emotionally overwhelming. But, I managed to not only process some of that; but to also have a really physically demanding day, that would usually wipe me out, and then come home, and do fucking house work.

The whole time I also noticed how much happier I am, how much more capable of enjoying my time with the kids; I played more, i was more patient, and it was second nature.

Day 2 I was apprehensive to take the elvanse; day 1 was tough, confronting, overwhelming, immense. I did, I was more exhausted because sleep was bad, the pain came back in the night and was brutal. More of the same; a level of relaxation of all of my anxiety; like breathing fresh air for the first time not knowing you've been living in smog.

But on top of that; I also booked blood tests and appointments, organised my upcoming medical appointments, did house work, etc.

It's now the end of Day 3; Sleep is still problematic, I'm exhausted but it continues. The elvanse is wearing earlier today, pain is bad. But, again, I'm managing and coping in a way I never could; and my Co-morbids' symptoms are still mild af.

I had been told it was life changing, I knew, but didn't really get it.

Anyone else?