u/jjfmish

I’m talking about people who will happily eat at the tourist trap restaurant across the street from the attraction without even thinking that there may be a better option 5 minutes away. Another example - people who order something that clearly shouldn’t be ordered at the place we’re at - why are you ordering a medium rare steak at the greasy sports bar?

Supposedly, it’s one of the most common IDs AND is one of two options for women 5’6 and over that isn’t described as rare. You would think that it would be a diverse ID with many expressions of the yin yang balance and casting archetypes (and I do see that to an extent with the verified celebrities and clients). Yet, as an almost 5’6 woman whose sketch seems to show vertical and curve, I still struggle to confidently claim the ID because of the way it’s portrayed.

FNs can be baby faced and ingenue, or look similar to scaled up classics, or be the athletic supermodel stereotype, or have a very mature sultry look. They can have very obvious strong bone structures in their face, or have very soft looking faces. They can be every shape in the fruit system.

Meanwhile, even very knowledgeable people still parrot the idea that all SDs have obviously strong and sharp bone structures, only look good in large scale ultra bold details, and are inherently the most glamorous imposing person in the room. They also must have specific proportions and features.

While D fam as a whole suffers from stereotyping and only being recognized in its most extreme form, even pure D seems to have more variety acknowledged within it.

Edit: what bothers me is the whole “FNs are softer than SDs. If you don’t have an obviously sharp bone structure you’re FN” thing. Me being soft doesn’t change the fact that my sketch doesn’t show width and how fabric behaves on me. I do have some sharpness but nowhere near the amount expected from SDs

No matter how in shape I was throughout my life I was always the picked last in gym class, can’t play intermural sports without humiliating myself type. Cant throw or catch, run weird, can’t dance. The only sports I’ve ever been decent at are solo sports based almost entirely on perfecting specific individual movements like swimming and skiing.

Any advice?

To preface, I know many people are just going to comment “maybe travel isn’t for you”, and sure, maybe that’s the case. The fact is, though, I yearn to see the world and really want to be a well travelled person. The idea of not travelling makes me very upset and anxious. I’m generally an open minded, laid back, type B person who’s pretty good at rolling with the punches. I wouldn’t even say I don’t enjoy travelling, I’m just primed to assume that everything is going to go wrong and that the experiences I get so excited about won’t live up to the hype. I’m in my late 20s now, finally have money to travel, and will probably start a family in around 5 years, so now is the time.

Here’s what I mean by having a bad attitude:

I get excited about a potential trip. I start researching and building a loose itinerary and getting excited. I inevitably stumble upon people with negative experiences. Unavoidable food poisoning. Scams. Dangerous experiences. Overcrowding. All the food I’m excited to try is mediocre or will make me sick. All the places I’m excited to go are tourist traps. All the pictures I’m seeing are edited and I will be disappointed in real life. I start to wonder if the positive experiences I’m seeing from people are actually legitimate. I end up talking myself out of the trip.

Of course, I know social media isn’t real and that I need to manage expectations anywhere I go. I don’t expect real places to be perfectly manicured theme parks for tourists, especially in developing countries. I know getting sick is common simply from not being used to the food and water.

Still, I WANT to have a more positive attitude towards travelling and not talk myself out of experiencing life because I’m afraid of disappointment. Have any of you dealt with this? Any advice?

To preface, I know many people are just going to comment “maybe travel isn’t for you”, and sure, maybe that’s the case. The fact is, though, I yearn to see the world and really want to be a well travelled person. The idea of not travelling makes me very upset and anxious. I’m generally an open minded, laid back, type B person who’s pretty good at rolling with the punches. I wouldn’t even say I don’t enjoy travelling, I’m just primed to assume that everything is going to go wrong and that the experiences I get so excited about won’t live up to the hype. I’m in my late 20s now, finally have money to travel, and will probably start a family in around 5 years, so now is the time.

Here’s what I mean by having a bad attitude:

I get excited about a potential trip. I start researching and building a loose itinerary and getting excited. I inevitably stumble upon people with negative experiences. Unavoidable food poisoning. Scams. Dangerous experiences. Overcrowding. All the food I’m excited to try is mediocre or will make me sick. All the places I’m excited to go are tourist traps. All the pictures I’m seeing are edited and I will be disappointed in real life. I start to wonder if the positive experiences I’m seeing from people are actually legitimate. I end up talking myself out of the trip.

Of course, I know social media isn’t real and that I need to manage expectations anywhere I go. I don’t expect real places to be perfectly manicured theme parks for tourists, especially in developing countries. I know getting sick is common simply from not being used to the food and water.

Still, I WANT to have a more positive attitude towards travelling and not talk myself out of experiencing life because I’m afraid of disappointment. Have any of you dealt with this? Any advice?

All the pretty girls who got bottle service jobs or became influencers right out of high school are now unrecognizable and it freaks me out. I used to make lists of all the work I wanted done but now I can’t even imagine tweaking my Slavic potato nose or thin upper lip. I’m not anti plastic surgery necessarily but the thought of looking in the mirror and not seeing myself is so unnerving. Plus, I think the features you’re born with are what make the most sense for your face 99% of the time

This is a bit of a recent realization for me but reflects something I’ve been grappling with for a while. Some of you may know me from being quite active on this sub several years ago. When the new book came out I shifted away from SD and towards R fam, but now having redone my sketch I’m pretty confident it shows vertical and curve after all. For reference I’m slightly over 5’5, so vertical is likely but not guaranteed.

Beyond not having the reassurance of auto vertical and not having obviously elongated proportions, my biggest gripe with SD was feeling like it was generally too bold and mature for me. I’m in my late 20s and still have quite a baby face, and am verified in Kitchener as Romantic and Youthful dominant with no D essence. Interestingly, this is also the essence blend for verified SD Rachel Weisz, so it’s not like this is inherently opposed to SD, but it still made it more difficult to create a version of the image ID for myself.

Rachel is someone who looked a lot softer and less obviously dramatic in her 20s, and despite acting since that time she seems to have really come into her own career-wise in middle age. This seems to be the case for quite a few verified and suspected SDs - the inherent maturity of the image ID seems to lend itself well to aging, and most of the verified SDs had their most iconic looks and roles in middle age.

There are of course some SDs who have always had a mature look (like Sofia Vergara), but others seemed similar to me in their 20s and their boldness and yang bone structure became more obvious with age (especially if you ignore their height).

This also makes me think of some unverified tall celebrities who have undeniable curve, but at their young age Diva Chic feels a bit mature for them. Avantika Vandanapu is one example - she’s around 5’9 for reference. At her current age she comes across more like a tall R (and I’ve seen several people suggest her as a potential R without knowing her height) - but I can totally see her maturing into a version of Diva Chic with age

Sorry for the long ramble, I’m just wondering if any of you here relate and if I’m onto something with my theory! I know some SDs really identify with the maturity of the ID from a young age but even looking at the celebrities, it doesn’t seem to be universal

I swear people act like we live in some unique hellhole weatherwise, and complain no matter what. Cold snowy winter? We might as well live in the arctic circle. Mild rainy winter? Just more proof that Toronto is miserable. Hot humid summer? Complaining. Mild rainy summer? Complaining. Quick transition from winter to summer? “Why doesn’t Toronto have a proper spring?” Seasonal spring weather, like we had this year? “Why is spring so cold and rainy this year, normally I’m in shorts by now!”

Yes the weather sucks here, but it also sucks in more parts of the world than it is doesn’t. Temperate climates with milder weather also tend to have less sunshine and more rain than we receive, like Vancouver or the UK.

In Northern Europe they have the expression “there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing”, meanwhile people here act like they can’t leave the house unless it’s a perfect 22 degrees and sunny.

I know this is more of a Kibbe sub but I still think this would be an interesting discussion to have here. Imo both systems have their place and their individual appeal will vary. I have my praise and criticisms for both systems but I’m only verified in Kitchener.

What I find most interesting is how these systems are conceptualized through the same framework (yin/yang and harmony-based styling) with the same influences, but often arrive at different conclusions. There is definitely some correlation but an equal amount of dissonance. The main reason is that, while body type and height will play into your Kitchener blend, these factors aren’t deterministic the way they are in Kibbe.

Here are my observations based on the celebrities verified in both systems:

- The vast majority of Kibbe Rs, TRs, and SDs are R dominant in Kitchener as well

- This is opposite from the Kibbe Ns, who are represented across every dominant essence (especially FNs)

- Most Kibbe gamines do have significant HS/gamine essence but it won’t necessarily be dominant

- There is a high amount of Kibbe Cs with significant C essence but there also some with little to none (I know a verified DC client with only 10% Kitchener C)

- Scale and height determine yin vs yang in Kibbe while in Kitchener it just shifts percentages - being 5’7 + will give you an extra 10% of Natural, Dramatic, or Angelic essence (since they are the elongating essences), but you can still have a small scale dominant essence while being tall

I work in a male dominated finance adjacent field in a sales role so naturally most of my young male coworkers are exactly what you’d expect. Talking to them really makes me realize what a pop culture bubble I’m in because I thought people like that were Strawmen created by Faux moi.