u/just-another-entity

I 26M don't have any good clothes. I have no proper sense of fashion. You wouldn't believe it but i literally only have 3 sets of clothes. 3 jeans and 3 t-shirts, 0 shirts.

I think this is more because of my inability to spend money. But i am trying to change that. Also every time I buy something I regret it because it does not fit me well even after trying it out or the movement feels uncomfortable. And feel good clothes are expensive. I am very indecisive. My brain hangs when deciding what to buy.

Please give some advice, i really want to fix my dressing sense. I never thought of this as a problem. But now looking at other people my age, i feel like i should do something about it. I want to utilise this sale season properly.

So I get these random thoughts of dy*ng. Not exactly being suic*d*l but Like if I had a gun, i would point it at myself and go away without hesitation if it meant a painless exit or if i was in a life or de*th situation, i would incline myself towards de*th more.

I don't exactly see the point of moving forward. Tired of all the hustle towards building wealth and anxious about the responsibilities i have or will have. Being alone all the time, i feel like a robot just doing the things i am supposed to do.

Then i think what if for some reason i am unable to do these things anymore like if i get in an accident or get amputated, what next then. Back to being a dead weight ? Then there's more reason to go away ?

A few days back, while traveling I saw a guy who looked pretty normal but on a closer look, I realised he didn't have hands. He was eating with whatever we had and looked genuinely happy.

Then it made me think, how does this guy have more willpower than me. What is making him continue ? It looked like he also just came from his work. I am all right physically. But why am I mentally messed up ? Why do i even have this thought process ?

I don't have any negativity towards disabled people and I feel good that they are happy but it is just me that my willpower (which already seems weak) to live would have been completely shattered if i was in their place.

I deeply apologise if i offend anyone. Just wanted to share my feelings with someone. I just want to feel normal and look forward to life and get away with these thoughts.

I have freewill no one is giving me instructions anymore. But i am clueless now. Maybe i am used to being a slave and following instructions. I pretty much did/doing my best in doing what a responsible person does but then what next ? what are my next instructions ? And how long will I keep following instructions ? When will I experience long term peace and happiness on my own ?

Not looking for feedback, i know it will be the generic hit gym, travel around, make friends, keeping busy etc. Tried and doing all these things and it helps to some extent but nothing that works out fully. These thoughts come again.

But if you relate to this and somehow made it out, I would really love to hear your story.

I will be turning 27 in few days. I hid my birthday from everywhere because it is nothing special. No one remembers it voluntarily. My family never celebrated birthdays growing up and I didn't really care much as well.

But i see other birthdays and realise that how thoughtful they be for each other giving them gifts. I have never received any gift from anyone for any reason ever. Friends would only remember my birthday to nag me for party but don't even bring a gift.

But it is also true that i don't give many gifts either to others. I just find it weird that how life has turned out for me comparatively. No friend who would consider me special enough to remember my birthday and give thoughtful gifts.

Maybe all friendships are transactional and i might not be contributing enough to receive it back.

I have to go home for Dussehra. The flight tickets are costing more than 15k during that time. Usually it is half the price. Is there a way to get cheaper flight tickets. I used to set alerts on Skyscanner and it had worked for last few years. But now it does not work reliably.

Are there any other tips and tricks i could use to get the ticket for cheap ? Like setting more reliable alerts. I can travel on any day of the week. but it has to be closer to Dussehra.

Do you even want to get found ?

I have been noticing bit too much hairfall from last few months. I am of the opinion that it is just hair. I will go full bald if it gets worse but i will never rely on drugs like minoxidil or whatever they use for this. But deep down i am worrying a bit lol.

My friends are getting trouble finding prospects because of baldness. And maybe it will be a problem for me too in coming years.

What do y'all think ? Do you worry about it ? How problemaric can it be to be bald ?

I have realised that nowadays I can't lock in to anything. Like before i used to watch some series or commit to work on a side project very easily. Despite having a job, i used to fnd time for everything. But now i find it too distracting and lost interest in everything. I feel like i have lost the skills for time management. I have the same amount of time as before in a day but somehow I do nothing productive.

I am neither being able to get better at my job nor enjoying life anymore. Every night, i feel like i have to do something but then I don't know what to do. I feel like i will be nothing if I lose my job but I am not able to do anything to improve also.

But then I also don't know why am I going forward. The days are just passing by and nothing meaningful is happening that will guide me to make me understand my purpose or end goal or even make my journey happier. Same routine everyday. Weekends get more depressing thinking about the same thought that i have to do something but i end up with a headache doing nothing.

Lol, too many mixed emotions, i got distracted again. Coming back to time management. How do you lock yourself in to a task or anything until you complete it without worrying about whether it is even worth it or not ?

I earn 2.2Lpm. I didn't have sip before so only did some lump sum investing without a lot of research. Yesterday I sat down with chatgpt to analyse my portfolio and it pointed out many mistakes.

It suggested to make SIPs of 1.6L on 3 4 funds for every month. And stop investing in other overlapping funds or even sell them after a year when time seems right. Now i don't know if this is a good suggestion. My expenses are around 40k.

But i have been avoiding building investing habits for a quite long time. The reason being that i am saving to build home. But there are some complications in the paperwork and it has been stuck for months. The broker assures me everytime that it will get resolved in next month but it has not been resolved so i am expecting that i might need liquid cash anytime when things get sorted out.

But yesterday, i felt bad for not investing for so long considering how unstable this job market is right now so i invested most of the accumulated 12L in my savings account. And setup the SIPs based on what chatgpt suggests.

Now i have around 5L only across all my savings account. And 12L in my Mutual funds. 1.5L in FD.

The home thing is still there and still hoping that it gets resolved in few months. But idk, if whatever I did was right or not. I would still need cash if i had to start construction and at that time i might panic.

Can you please give some suggestions ? Did i make the right call ? A friend told me that investing that huge chunk of salary is stupidity.

How long does it take to withdraw from my index/equity mutual funds if i ever need to ? How should I ideally be approaching my situation ? Should I take a home loan (i ideally don't want to) ?

No matter when I sleep, I will wake up around 1am and then can't sleep at all. I will feel sleepy but I cannot sleep. It has been happening for few months everyday.

The entire day I will feel tired but now I can sleep very easily but i have work to do in the day. I can't do it in nights.

How do you fix this ?

Long rant ahead!!!

I (26M) have been living away from my family for a few years for work, and I have realised that my family is a bit too patriarchal compared to any other family I see nowadays. I don't have sisters, so it was mainly my mom and my sister-in-law who were the only females growing up.

My mom was quite a toxic person towards my sister-in-law, and we were also kind of ars3hol3s about it. Me being me, I couldn't accept her as part of my family, and tbh, I still can't, even if I try to, because of all the quarrels she and my mom used to have on a daily basis (I know it was mostly my mom's fault, but I can't blame her for everything).

But after seeing other families, I realised how important it was to have more female members in the family. They seem to be happier. I wish I also had some sisters around my age or some good female friends growing up. Maybe I would not have turned out to be a socially awkward person. All in all, I realise that the way we treated women in our family was not good. But this could also be because women in our families have never been that educated or ambitious enough to go beyond household chores.

A few days back, I was talking to my dad, and the topic shifted to my brother's marriage and how he is not getting any prospects. I already hated my eldest brother getting married and how it turned out for everyone, with daily kalesh and whatnot. My brother does not want to get married because he does not have a stable income. But he folded under the pressure. And maybe after that, it will be my turn. I told my dad not to worry too much about it and asked him, what if it turns out to be the same kind of marriage, with all the daily fights and disagreements?

I thought my dad was modern enough to move away from that orthodox thinking. But he started explaining to me how everything was my brother's fault for not being able to control his wife and not supporting the family during those quarrels. I did not want to argue more because there is no point in explaining myself, and it would only lead to more disagreements.

I am just having thoughts about what if this marriage also leads to my dad hating on my brother. Or maybe even me if I ever get married. I am of the mindset right now that whoever I bring into my family will get my full support (unless she is being extremely unfair obv). I will have to take sides with her right since she is my responsibility. I have hopes of bringing someone educated and someone who will financially contribute towards expenses. And this kind of person will not really be the kind of person I see as someone who would adjust to my family setting, and tbh, I wouldn't want her to adjust. I just don't want my future family to be like my current family.

My family's thinking is that women are suppose to follow their daily schedule of cooking and cleaning so that men in the family would go and focus on their work. And if they don't follow it, there will a fight. Most stupid fight in my family from what i can remember was about not getting their daily tea in the morning. And honestly, the entire point of getting my other brother married is just that my sister-in-law could get more "help" in the household chores. But maybe things will be better to some extent this time since my mom is not there anymore (RIP) to control them. Here we are thinking how our jobs gets too monotonous and we look for ways to break the monotonity and even switch jobs but the women in our house don't get that choice.

I have some more rants i want to get off my chest but maybe for some other day. It's not that I hate them. They did their best with what they had and where they came from, but I hope we can be better going forward. I don't know how many of you could relate with this but it feels good sharing it and there is no one i could share it with and get some more perspective and argue if what i am thinking is right or wrong. How is it in your family ?

I (M) have been wanting to do my haircut on my own. I just want to come up with a sustainable and quick way of grooming my hair. I would just want my hair to get trimmed on the side. How much practice would i need to just have enough skills to avoid going to a barber every now and then ?

Is it even a good idea ? I can go all trimmed of things don't go well but that does not look good on me.

I have shortlisted a term plan. But I have a doubt whether to buy it from an aggregator like policybazaar or from an agent who is a close relative of mine. Will there be issues in the future ? The premium is probably the same (I haven't asked), but they would get some commission if i purchase from them which is also an added benefit and they would also make the process simpler.

I have shortlisted a term plan. But I have a doubt whether to buy it from an aggregator like policybazaar or from an agent who is a close relative of mine. Will there be issues in the future ? The premium is probably the same (I haven't asked), but they would get some commission if i purchase from them which is also an added benefit and they would also make the process simpler.

I am planning to invest some money in FDs in a small finance bank which is giving 8% interest. Is zerodha a good choice ? Or should I invest via stable money ?

Is fd a good option though. I am coming in 30% tax bracket. Heard that mutual funds are better for the tax benefits

Everytime when I am not able to sleep, there is a sudden urge of overthinking about stuff and what I could have done better and what could I do next.

Yesterday was one of those nights, I was thinking about my flaws. Contemplating questions like why am I the way i am. And everything i should do to improve. Slept overthinking about these stuff with a hope that tomorrow I will do everything i have thought to improve myself.

But waking up, all that josh and junoon is gone. Back to Jaisa chal rha hai chalne dete hai attitude.

Does anyone else experience this ?

Does anyone relate to this ?

I would consider myself financially stable for now living a debt free life. I am a minimalist, living way under my means and saving a lot with very low responsibilities as of now. But also barely investing anywhere except for few small SIPs. I am a dumass when it comes to investing.

Unfortunately, a lot of people know how much I make in my job and my frugal habits. Friends often ask my monetary help which I find it hard to deny. Today someone asked me a wayy too large amount (in lakhs) and instead of outright denying, I am negotiating 🙃.

Sure, I can risk it without making a huge dent in my finances but that made me think, whom am I earning for ? I actually don't gain anything giving them my money rather there is a risk of them not returning it back. I never ask monetary help from anyone because I never needed to. I just don't pursue if I don't have the money. But others are smart enough to ask around for help for achieving their goals and make profits.

I wish I was also smart enough to find and invest in opportunities to grow more rather than helping others grow. I am saving more money than my mind can think of spending. There will be inevitable expenses in future and my copium is just that i am saving it for those days. But those days are yet to come.

Ironically i make nothing compared to what my peers make but they have desires of travelling around and buying materialistic stuff so they spend a lot. But that is also a reason, that is also a reason pushing them to grow in their career and make more money to spend. Apparently can't even consider myself a middle class 🫠.

I don't know if I was able to convey how i feel and maybe it sounds like a problem everyone would wanna have but I have that constant fear that if I lose my job, I won't be able to grow back up and I need have a secondary income source.

I have never been on dating apps and most of my friends suggest that it is not for me. I also feel the same as someone with no experience in relationships, I can't compete with the crowd.

Some friends got married via these apps with a happily ever after life (until now, lol). I also want to try my luck out there before settling for an arrange marriage. Just don't want to have any regrets that I didn't try.

I get negligible female interaction in my daily life so i might not be great at convos but i also take this as a learning opportunity. I don't follow rule 1 and 2 (like they say in those subs 🤓). But i will be mentally prepared to get rejected (at least i hope i get noticed).

What do you all suggest for starters ? Which app could work for me ? How many good pics should be enough (I have none atp) ? Are there even genuine apps which does not require to upload a lot of pics ?

Please don't suggest to have hobbies and touch grass because that is not working out at all.

I had a complimentary voucher for a massage parlor so i booked an appointment because i wouldn't want for it to go to waste. I had never done anything before life that. I didn't know what the process is and i went all alone. This is just me forcing myself to do things out of my comfort zone and it didn't cost me anything.

I was nervous but mostly I was just scared that i would get a boner in between because usually I just get it for no reason and thought i will get it if someone's hands are touching me like that. Luckily i didn't get any even though I was having thoughts of p*rn during the massage, the pain was too much that most of my focus went into not screaming.

Initially i was told to get naked and switch to a disposable underwear. The kind of underwear which would get transparent with a tiny speck of oil or water. My entire stuff was visible and they didn't even put a towel to cover it like they show it in tv. The masseuse was a guy and i was a bit conscious about it but at this point I was like it is not a big deal anymore. So just relaxed and went through it.

We even chatted a bit sharing some stuff. It was like i had a completely different personality. Overall the experience was great.

Looking back at it, i realised how far i have come. I have gynaecomastia and i don't have any chest hair. My chest looks like that of a petite pornstar. Plus i used to be fat and was scared of being shirtless. Now there I was almost naked in front of a stranger getting ready for a massage and i didn't care.

Once the session was over I looked at the mirror after a shower. Though nothing physically changed but i felt like a normal male.

I see these are the only two affordable organizers for treks. The rest are bit expensive.

Nammatrip was my first and they didn't even play music during the ride or did any socialisation stuff. I thought that was the norm. Next time i tried tripbae and it was a completely different experience.

Are there any other organisers which are affordable and more fun for overnight treks ? How is your experience ?

Planning to go to makalidurga this weekend alone so trying to decide which one to choose.