I clicked onto the select button because I wanted to save my latest projects on my pc. But i clicked this button now suddenly the projects are neither on my pc, nor saved on the nomad sculpt app. Did I delete it? Please help me i cant find my projects anywhere, I think im gonna throw up.
For context, I was and still am, stuck in therapie limbo for most of my life. I always had issues with not fitting in and a number of mental problems. I get passed around like a joint from therapist to therapist to psychatrist to psychiatrist. Everyone in there knows i have something but never try to figure out what that something is. Ive been on antidepressiva for most of my life, talked sbout some issues with a psychologist once a month for one hour and thats just it. No answer no nothing ever since I started. Recently my parents told me that an ex theraphist I had was stone set that I had autism based on very minor factors and was gripping out symptoms out of nowhere. Because of her I almost got my life ruined with an autism diagnosis that would have blocked me from even finishing high school. She also once gave me autism meds for like a month that made me go crazy and exponentionally worsened my depression-like state. Another therapist put me off it and onto anti depressiva and made me try out a LOT of other different meds. But it feels like nothing really helps and i still feel pretty cluelss about myself, my future and the feelings of being an inherent outsider. Latley my psychiatrist tries to pin-point me as having "female adjacent adhd" but to be honest? It feels like she is just trying to throw whatever diagnosis she can find onto me, to throw me into a box and consider me dealt with because she too is frustrated by the ambiguity of it all. Ive never ever thought about being neurodivergent because of this big wave of self-diagnosis that got heavily criticised, and i just never wanted to associate with that crowd. For the last 2 months ive researched a bit about adhd, autism and ocd and there are a bunch of parts i heavily relate to, but also a lot of others that i just cant befriend. Everything fits kinda, but nothing fits in a way that makes me go, "Ah! Thats it!". For ocd i relate to the constantly spinning thoughts and circles of constant mental suffering input myself through, that once i fall into i can only escape by a weird jumbled sense of logic, but i dont have any outside behavioural patterns. For autism i relate to masking and getting easily upset by too much noise/light and movement. But I have excellent social awareness(i do often wrongly get accused of being oblivious in social settings, but its NOT because i dont notice social rules, but more so that i find them exhsusting and often deliberatley decide to act in ways that seem offputing because i just cant be bothered doing illogical shit just so strangers feel comfortable next to me 100% of the time). For (female) adhd i relate to the absolute internal hate i have for chores that i realidtically know have to be done, difficulty in upholding routine, and easily getting upset whrn others put me off what i like to do, having a very chatoic space and inner life. But i can focus on things that have to be done when work related and refuse to engage with the things i love doing because im too exhausted and am waiting for the perfect moment to engage with them. I have many neurodivergent and queer friends and feel more comfortable with them than with others. But to be honest? I hardly ever find neurodivergent ppl to be different from neurotypical.ppl at all sometimes. I just dont know anymore tbh. I just want answers, im just so tired of it all.
Look I do not believe in gendered norms but i like doing things considered traditionally feminine! Wearing makeup, frilly dresses and also gardening! I am comfortable in my feminine masculinity and never want to let go of my joyful demenour and hobbies!
The comments
-from an average subreddit
-a trans subreddit
"But what about trans men?" Oh dw babes, i hate honorary males just as much as real men, i dont discriminate😊✨♥️! Ally btw
What do you mean trans males weren't the ones that bulit and upheld or profited off of patriarchy the same way and amount that cis males are? What do you mean patriarchy doesn't accept trans men as men? Oh silly theyfab tran! Here is a 10yr old post of a conservative man yelling about how much he hates women but likes trans men bc they hate women so much they became men! See, even though he is racist, sexist and homophobic as hell he is still a #Ally and reflects the vast political landscape perfectly!
Oh shut it already theyfab! I dont CARE that you lived your whole life as a woman and faced horrible injustices and sexist treatment every day for 20 years! I dont CARE that you still dont pass and still face sexism every day!!! THE PRIVILEGE IS STORED IN THE HE/HIM PRONOUNS!!! Shut up and stop mansplaining to me! AVERAGE MAN TRYING TO SHUT A WOMAN UP THINKING HE KNOWS BETTER JUST BC HE IS A MAN (i may be an ally but i am a proud missandrist😊! Men are all born biologically evil btw).
"Its really funny how i was talked over, shut up and treated as being stupid all my life because i was percieved as a woman, but as soon as i transitioned to a man and talked about problems specific to me and my community, i get accused of mansplaining and shut up that way. " OH MY GOOOOD I LITERALLY DONT CAREEEEEE. COULD MEN STOP BEING EMOTIONAL ALL THE DAMN TIME??? We might start thinking youre actually still a woman mehehe🥴.
"But what about transmascs? He/him lesbians? Stealth trans men? Non passing trans men? Trans men that dont want to physically transition? How trans men are affected by misogyny and missandry? How BIPOC trans men especially are at risk and constantly shut up in- and outside the trans community? How BIPOC trans men especially get villanized by said rethoric and white feminism? Trans men with vulvas? Trans men regarding reproductive health and abortion?"
Oh my goooood it's not that DEEEEEP! The curtains are just blue and you are just a silly, cunty(🤣) guyyy!!! Stop making me uncomfy talkinb abt ur junk all the time😥!
"What about trans women? Oh they are women, allright! But as soon as they have one leg hair or aren't conventionally attractive, they are predatory men with womb envy, hope this helps!😊"
uj/ if you disagree with what i said or think im spewing harmful rethoric with my talking points unconciously, please educate me, I want to be made aware of that and support my community in any way i can, thank you for your time.