u/justadumblilbaby

Heya. Moving from NYC to London in Sept for grad school. NYC's queer social sporting scene is really amazing. I'm part of some amazing social bike clubs and run groups, all of which are free and one is even the only NB focused space I'm aware of. It's where I've made the majority of my social circle and something I want to continue in London.

I've been looking around for good replacements. I've checked outforsport.com and haven't seen much. I've been to Queer Running Club but the price is a turnoff as a long time runner. I want to try Les Run. But I'm not finding much past that. Things look like they're heavily gay men focused. And social rides don't seem to exist in London at all sadly.

Anybody have any groups or spaces they'd recommend? I'm down for most non-team sports cause I'm super noncompetitive.

I have a work colleague who I see in person every once in awhile. We're both MtF, started HRT in our 30s and been on for 3+ years. I'm NB and she's a woman.

Whenever we're alone she's always asking me for passing advice. She's never clear on what her goals are outside of "I want to pass." Honestly, it's not my problem, and I don't want to critique or place beauty standards on anyone. So I usually give her general advice like "try a face framing haircut. Try my friend's stylist" or "lookup these makeup tutorials."

I'm afraid direct advice is going to cut deep. There's so much work she can do for her skin, hair, voice, outfits, posture, mannerisms, etc to get to where she wants. But she's not even receptive to basic advice. Plus it feels like she's putting me on a pedestal so I don't want her to feel like I'm talking down to her.

Is it better to be direct with all this or just avoid this completely? How would you want somebody to talk to you about these things?

Been on hrt for years, haven't been gendered as a guy in 3+, just living life happily. Had a family event at a bar last weekend that I didn't want to miss.

I'm NB and used to only dress masc leaning around family for comfort. But over the past few years I've just been dressing how I feel that day. For this night, I felt very femme and decided to lean heavily into it. Cute fit, makeup, got my eyebrows done, did my hair nice. In the back of my mind I did it to make a statement and hope things would be different 🤡

My dad, who I haven't spoke to in two years for this reason, he/him'd and dead named me the whole night but was also trying to be buddy buddy. My brother slipped twice and threw a "it's soooo hard" pitty party, then loudly made a big deal about me getting to choose what I wear to his wedding 🙄 My sister in law's father hit on me. Her brother said a ton of misogynistic shit right to my face. All while everyone else is just being fucking normal.

I was stuck in this loop of hoping the next step of transition would be the fix for years. Maybe a few more months on hrt. Maybe this outfit. Maybe explaining my pain. Maybe performing like this. Maybe showing how happy I am. Maybe this surgery, laser session, makeup trick, etc etc etc. I'm done. I've cried enough over this shit enough. I love who I am. I love my life. I love the people who love me. Not going to let shitty people tear down years of healing.

Girls/theys, these selfish ass people in your life aren't going to change. They don't want to change. They can't see past themselves. They don't want to respect you. Don't minimize. Don't deal with their bullshit. Don't stay silent. Be your loud hot self and fuck the haters.