u/justgimmethevalium

It's embarrassing how many times i've died, like 50+. Even after watching a video online it didn't help at ALL. Dude just stood around and used his plasma gun and she died, that was on his first try. Somehow I missed getting the plasma gun and i'm too far in the game to go back and get it to help me kill her. I've tried the shotgun, machine gun, and I don't have any chaingun ammo.

It's to the point where I'm so discouraged I haven't gamed in an entire day and a half (that is a lot for me, lol).

If anyone knows how to kill this spider bitch please help me. This is driving me insane. There has to be something obvious i'm not doing, there's no way it's supposed to be this hard. (playing on veteran btw)

Don't expect anyone to read this. Just posting so I can free this from my notes app and release this pain somewhere.

Whenever you have these episodes you call me every name in the book and paint a narrative that's a blatant lie just so you can feel justified in how you treat me and don't have to feel bad. I am not reading your narcissistic speech, the message preview and every nasty thing you've said and done to me already is enough torture. You know every single thing to say to cut me as deep as possible and when you hear me bawling my eyes out and having a panic attack you just keep kicking me harder. it's like the more pain I feel the better you feel.

Narcissists project during arguments and that's what you do every time. I finally called you what you are and suddenly i'm one. "No i'm not, you are." That's how it goes every single time without fail. That's not how a fucking parent acts. I hardly ever argue with you, tonight is one of the rare times i've spoken up for myself. It's usually just me sobbing and having a panic attack while you scream and mock my crying while you bang at my door to scare me and my dogs. Over absolutely nothing, like me getting ice cream delivered. I feel horrible anxiety every time I have to walk past you to get my DoorDash because I never know when you'll get angry over me ordering groceries. I know there's a chance you'll scream and degrade me for hours over it like yesterday. 2 pints of ice cream and a bag of chips made you scream so loud the neighbors could hear. How many mental hoops does it take to jump through to tell yourself that's normal? Why are you so HATEFUL I don't understand.

I can't even softly speak up for myself or suggest simple things like buying a Brita without you screaming at the top of your lungs and hitting me. Yet in your eyes I deserve to be kicked around like a dog without making a sound. Me even texting you this is terrifying but there's no more damage you can do to me that you haven't already. You've been like this since I was ~6 so I can predict literally every word you'll say but that doesn't stop how painful it is. You genuinely don't care how much you hurt me as long as it makes you feel better. You'll never care or have remorse for it (as far as I can tell), and that's what makes it so cruel and traumatic that only someone with NPD could be capable of it. I don't want to believe my only parent and family member that i love and am terrified of losing is a narcissist because that means you'll never change. That's partially why I still have a relationship with you but this relationship has been slowly killing me for years and years. And jesus christ I'm so weak for always falling for it when you're nice to me again and I warm back up to you and hope it's real this time but it never is because the other side of you ALWAYS comes back. If it was ever going to be real change and real love it would've happened by now. It's so depressing to think about you never being capable of actually loving me. It's hard to be in denial over you having NPD when you lack any remorse for intentionally inflicting such severe trauma on me since I was a little girl. You must know deep down how much it's damaged me over time. But you seem to conveniently misremember or completely forget things, and if you admit to remembering you ALWAYS find a way to justify it and blame it on me. I wish that you were capable of loving me how a normal mom loves their child, how I grew up seeing my friends' moms love them, or like how i love you.

The negative things you say to or about me hold no weight (which has taken almost 20 years for me to realize) because myself and God know the truth. And so do you, but I don't think you'll ever own up to it so it doesn't matter. Having remorse and self awareness is the main difference between a someone with no conscience and an imperfect person. I've still always wanted to be in your life because you're all I've had, even if it means I have to walk on eggshells and take emotional beatings. It's unfair that I'm responsible to heal from what you inflicted while you get to go on without even caring or admitting any of it. meanwhile i'll need therapy for the rest of my life.

You told me at ___'s house that you would kill yourself if I ever moved away, but when you're having an abusive episode you change your mind, and everything nice you've ever said to me becomes clearly untrue, and every nice thing you've ever done for me is held above my head, which means nothing you do is ever out of kindness. It's to hold in your back pocket and use against me when you're angry. It doesn't get more textbook definition of abusive than that. I have never once done that to you, it's sick to do that to anyone let alone your daughter. I would never do that to you or anyone, especially my child. You have so much anger in your heart and I'm the one who gets used as a punching bag for it, instead of treating me like an equal with feelings or trying to heal whatever part of you causes it.

You talk about how much you can't stand certain people but would NEVER speak to them like you do to me because you feel like you can't. And you should feel the exact same way when it comes to me because I am a human being with value and I deserve to be treated like it. I've tried so hard to be there for you and do my best (even though i'm not perfect), but I can't possibly be perfect enough to fix the deep anger in your soul because I'm not the root of that problem. I wasnt when I was 5 and I'm not now. I have never been abusive, tried to intimidate you by hitting things or storming at you and your dogs with weapons, or gotten off on putting you down. I suppress even the reasonable words I wish I could say just to keep the peace. I tiptoe around. I'm scared of you. You're not the one who had 12 holes in your bedroom door with scratches all over it. Your door never had a single mark on it because I wouldn't dream of disrespecting you and being angry to the point of punching anything, let alone something of yours. That in itself shows how different we are. And I'm thankful i'm not like you because I wouldn't ever be capable of hurting anyone like you've hurt me. If I had a child i'd make sure not a second went by where they didn't feel loved and respected and worthy of everything good in this world.

I've thought it was my job to make you happy and walked on eggshells since I was a little girl and it's screwed up my nervous system beyond comprehension. You use me as a human punching bag and then blame me when i'm not 100% normal or have issues or don't take care of myself or spend time with you or when I ask if you're in a bad mood. I've had to spend my entire life trying to assess your mood so I know what I can and can't do, if I should leave you alone, if something I wanted to say might annoy you, or how likely it is you'll verbally lash out that day. I'm hypersensitive to your shift in mood. I've learned to automatically do that since I was a child and you won't ever care enough to put yourself in my shoes and think about how damaging to someone's nervous system that could be, especially while my brain was still developing.

You would rather call it "playing the victim" when you're being nice and I tell you a fraction of how I feel. It couldn't be more of an obvious projection and it's unbelievably cruel that you would ever say that to me. YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE TO ME. You HAVE to remember things you've done for 20 YEARS. YOU MUST AT LEAST REMEMBER SUFFOCATING YOUR 6 YR OLD DAUGHTER WITH A PILLOW. WHY WILL YOU NEVER ADMIT TO HURTING ME WITHOUT FOLLOWING IT WITH A WILD JUSTIFICATION.

The things you're able to say/do with NO remorse or empathy is objectively cruel and it literally keeps me awake at night wondering how you can do that to me. It kills me. I feel like i'm living in a nightmare when i remember how void of empathy you can be. You feel entitled to treat me like a punching bag but when I breathe the wrong way or cry over it you turn into a monster towards me. It shows you have no respect for me & a developing mind internalizes that as "I don't deserve respect because even my mom doesn't respect me or love me. Why should I respect or love myself?" And since there hasn't been any closure or change in behavior, that mindset has stuck with me into adulthood. I think that's a huge reason i'm so stuck in life and haven't valued myself or my life like I should've. And even though i'm grown up now and aware of what explains all of these things, it still hurts so fucking bad. The screaming alone or even you slamming a door is enough to make me cry and give me panic attacks. It's embarrassing that i'm an adult now and still here dealing with it, I think most people would've been gone a long time ago but it's really hard to admit that your only parent, whom you've been close with your whole life, will never change.

You saying i'm not your daughter anymore just because I had the nerve to advocate for myself isnt the first time i've heard that. What kind of mother says that to their kid. If you stopped speaking to me it would be painful for awhile but better for me in the long run and maybe my nervous system would heal one day and i'd be able to live without crippling anxiety and depression if you're not around to tell me to kill myself. I hope you can sleep at night knowing you've burned your last bridge and ruined your relationship with your only child. I wonder how long you'll be able to believe the lies you tell yourself and others about how you're the victim. If anyone knew a fraction of how you act when no one is watching you'd be screwed. When I'm gone, do not expect me to forgive you and come back like I have before, even if I wanted to I would have zero self respect if I did that. You're so good at manipulating me into thinking you love me when you're acting normal but there are a million things that replay so vividly in my head that it's harder and harder to believe you do, in fact at this point I know you don't. Every time you lash out I remember how lowly you think of me and obviously that's going to affect my behavior around you. I don't think you realize the extent which you've ruined our relationship, I know you think i'll always be here because you think i'm weak and stupid but i'm not anything you say I am. You don't even know me, you never wanted to.

It feels like I already lost my only parent and the fact that you don't even think of me as your daughter anymore hurts me and makes me sick to my stomach. But I know sticking around to be treated less than you treat your dogs is worse. Even your dogs don't go in crates, but you justify locking me in one as a child the rare times you admit it even happened. Grandma always semi-joked how you loved them more than me but I knew it wasn't a joke.

I want SO BADLY to believe you aren't a narcissist and that you're just an unhealed person and that's what makes you void of empathy towards me. I see you have empathy for other people and it makes me wonder why I don't deserve the same. I'll never get the closure that I need from you to heal and i've come to terms with that a long time ago.

You are the most hateful, negative, vile person I've ever met and I don't know why you hate me so much but it's unbearable to live with the agony of knowing you don't love me and never will. Sometimes I wish you could feel even a fraction of the suffering you've put me through.

I have awful memory so I forget the player's name and season. but I remember they were male and Karine said something to the contestants the next morning like "I see everything that goes on in my manor and so and so is gone". Does anyone know why and remember which player this was? I'm just really nosy and randomly remembered this lol

obv men are still the main danger to women. men are the head of the snake. i'm just thinking about how more women decentering them would make us much safer bc of the evil things it leads to and the advantages men get out of it, including a particular kidnapping of a girl I just learned about.

As a true crime follower I'm constantly reminded of how dangerous extremely male centered women have the potential to be. The women who will stop at nothing to keep her man, i'm not talking about women who just want to be a house wife and have kids.

I have personal experience with this on some level & we probably all do. I remember vividly when I was 6 and I met my mom's boyfriend for the first time, and I was superrr shy as a kid so she thought i came off as unfriendly to him by not being talkative. When we got home she strangled me with a pillow in my bed while screaming at me. I was harassed online by a couple girls because of the guy I was with and it made me super anxious and self conscious for years. He treated me awfully, but obviously that made him feel like The Prize being chased by them so hard, and me getting upset over it. (I would never deal with that now.) I fucking hate that men are so worshipped that they can still hurt us without even hurting us cause women will do it for them. This is a big reason why I wish the 4B mentality was held by the majority of women. Men would feel MUCH less powerful and wouldn't be able to use us to put eachother down or hurt each other, which benefits them.

Obviously male centered women's threat varies significantly and manifests in so many ways. Bullying other women, harrassment, chasing taken men, stalking, crazy "boy mom" mentality, women blaming other women when their man cheats, sabotaging relationships out of envy, moms neglecting their kids for a man/letting new men in the house around their children, not believing their child about being SA'd by a man she's close to, defending men's atrocities, voting for men who hate women, dating men who are known abusers.

Then there are rarer cases where they will inflict serious and fatal harm and they come up often when I listen to true crime podcasts/videos. They'd rarely commit heinous crimes like SA, torture, trafficking etc towards other women without a man leading it. Because it's not for them, its a sacrifice they make for the fucked up man's approval, attention, praise, favoritism, whatever.

Anyway that leads me to this documentary I just watched called "The Girl in the Box". It reminded me of the extremes they'll go to for men and it's hard to comprehend. It's about a girl who was abducted for 7 yrs and went through Hell, and she thankfully lived to tell her story. it's one of the worst cases i've ever heard of. I feel it's an extreme (but good) example of the title of my post. i'll link a few similar stories of male centralization that most ppl will recognize.

Colleen Stan - the 7 year rape, extreme torture, and kidnapping victim of Cameron Hooker and his wife Janice Hooker. I couldn't find a deep dive into Janice alone which is upsetting because she was heavily involved and never went to prison. She was granted full immunity in exchange for all the info.

This is a less popular case and idk why. I can't even begin to explain how bad it is and it's hard to even think about even though i've heard plenty of true crime stories, so research at your own risk. I highly suggest watching the documentary "The Girl In the Box", because it's a firsthand interview of Colleen herself. There are a LOT of rly bad details that aren't in it tho.

It disgusted me that most of this case wouldn't have been possible without Janice, in fact I don't think Colleen would've even fell for Cameron's trap to abduct her in the first place if it weren't for Janice being her husband's accomplice. Colleen was hitch hiking and was cautious about who she got in a car with and denied solo or groups of men who stopped for her. She stated the only reason she felt comfortable enough to get in his car was because his young wife Janice and their baby were in the car with him. Janice knew the role she was supposed to play that day, she wasn't naive to his plans. She set out to help him find a torture victim and personal slave. She played in a creek with her baby while her husband put a wooden torture box over her head and drove to their house. Cameron was a sexual sadist and Janice agreed to help him abduct a girl to take it out on so she didn't have to deal with him pressuring her to do things. Her only condition was that he couldn't penetrate Colleen. That ended up happening and she flipped out and took it out on her, not him of course.

Janice Hooker, the sick wife, ended up being the reason Colleen escaped but it was purely for selfish reasons. She just got jealous and tired of her husband having her around and planning a divorce. She still pressured Colleen to not turn him in though so he could "have a chance to get better."

the Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka case still sends chills down my spine. Paul Bernardo was a pedo rapist and his wife Karla knew this. Knowing she wasn't enough to satisfy him, she sacrificed Tammy Homolka, her own teenage virgin sister for him, and it accidentally ended in her death. Karla filmed it. This led to a long string of similar incidents that wouldn't have been possible without her help.

Rose West, wife of Fred West, was heavily involved in her husband's 10 murders and tortures. Another classic case from the 70s.

Oh and Chris Watts who's one of the sickest dudes ever, he killed his wife/daughters and he still has a soon to be WIFE in prison. These prison wives are so common & need to be in prison with them imo. He also had a mistress which was his main motivation for the crimes and I think she was involved but there's no proof.

New to this sub so excuse me if this is repetitive or if some of these aren't unpopular opinions. From the few comments i've read, I think they might be? Anyway here are my thoughts. (Prefacing this by saying I'm sometimes team traitor and sometimes faithful, it depends on the season. I haven't seen Celeb Traitors, NZ, AUS or any non-english ones)

S1 - Extremely hard watch. I was leaning towards team Faithful, but they were so dense that I ended up screaming at my TV "Amanda or Wilf deserve to win at this point, yall are AWFUL." Especially when it came down to Wilf being the only OG traitor left, and them all believing him so blindly. Meryl & Hannah pissed me off, God bless them but the horrible gameplay and lack of critical thinking made me rage and tbh their personalities made me physically cringe. After Kieran left the way he did and they were still about to end the game with Wilf despite the glaringly obvious, was when I 100% did not want Faithful to win because I didn't think they deserved to. Although I really loved Aaron, and Kieran's fate wasn't in vain so I guess I'm glad they did. On top of that, Wilf started having a full on breakdown in panic mode to keep their trust and Meryl STILL threw in that green pouch, lord help her... and at the round table after Kieran left "guys yayyy we got out all the traitors!!" while everyone else was reflecting on how Kieran behaved.

I felt SO bad for Kieran at the end. Him and Maddy were the only likeable faithfuls towards the end imo. Voting out Maddy because she felt comfortable enough to reveal she was an actress was such a stupid reason, but Maddy should've never told them. I get that it's easy to say the faithfuls played poorly as viewers, but this season most were truly awful esp later in the game.

S2 - This was my second favorite Traitors season. I haven't seen a traitor as brilliant as Harry, plus i found him so likeable. Most of the Faithful played really well, but quickly into the show I found myself praying Harry would win. He truly deserved it. He didn't make one wrong move and kept his composure the whole time. I was so nervous when Mollie couldn't decide on her vote. I didn't feel that bad for her because she was blindly trusting of a charming guy on a show full of liars. All around one of the best seasons because majority of traitors and faithful played great. (Except Ash was an awful traitor. I wish they showed more of her being obvious bc people talked about it but we didn't get to see the worst parts imo). Jaz annoyed me because he tried to take credit for knowing it was Harry from the beginning but that's suchhh a lie lol

Edit: had to throw in that S3 ending was purely out of greed and Frankie deserved way better. It's apparent when the last 3-4 players know each other are faithfuls but two of them pretend they're unsure bc they've made a pact to win together. Not allowing players to reveal if they're faithful/traitors near the end of the season is a reason ppl get away with doing this, not the first time its happened. Also The Seer is an easy way to be framed, no thanks)

I played BL2 for years, way before I touched BL3 and it's been tied with Doom as my favorite game of all time and it'll forever stay that way. but I think BL3 deserves a place up there too, I don't understand some negativity i've seen and wanted to list off things I love about it so far as a first time BL3 player and long term lover of BL2. I'm lvl 47 Moze first playthrough. Disclaimer I havent played UVHM in BL2 and haven't played the DLCs in 3 yet

Because of what I read, I didn't have super high hopes for 3, plus BL2 has been my favorite game for years and knew it would be hard to compete with. I've seen people saying they don't like how many legendaries there are, they dislike the characters and antagonists, the storyline sucks, etc. I'm only lvl 47 but i'm obsessed

As far as the antagonists and characters, the twins really got on my damn nerves and made me angry, which is the point. I like a cult element in basically anything. Speaking of Tyreen, I loved Typhon. The echo logs he left us to find made me emotional. He was sooooo cute, I liked his accent and his positive outlook despite having a difficult life and his kids turning into psychopaths and wanting him dead. Such a pure little 5'0 boston talkin man who only wanted the best for everyone. No idea why people think he's annoying :( When Tyreen killed him, it made me HATEEEE her. I think she's a pretty solid villain, not as iconic as Jack, but she is very hateable. I think Jack thought he was doing the right thing and that his cruelty was justified, but Tyreen just seems like a pure psychopath

Maybe i'm too early in the game, but nothing about Ava has annoyed me so far like i've seen ppl say. I wish Brick and Mordecai were a little more present but space had to be made for new fun characters outside of Pandora. The memorialization of Roland in Roland's Rest w/ his statue was so sad but cute to see, and the writing in chalk on it by all the classic BL2 characters made me smile. Tina is obviously still distraught from his death, but she's more grown up and evolved while staying the same crazy Tina. Tbh I love that they made her bisexual, it just makes sense haha. I saw the same exact framed picture of her and Roland that was in her bedroom in BL2. Love the attention to detail in general. Tina might be my fav BL character and I like her even better in 3, same with Moxxi, she's more talkative and moves around instead of just staying behind her bar mostly quiet

Also all of Sanctuary looks better (including her bar). It all feels way more homey and has a better map. Also Marcus' shop. Paying for max ammo & storage upgrades in cash was a good idea. Then saving eridium for fun stuff like skins, room decor, heads, gun trinkets/gun skins, and annointed weapons. All the vending machines in Sanctuary are matched to your current level and that's made a huge difference, plus I can basically farm from Sanctuary lol.

Obviously the gameplay is so fun. The variety of maps and planets and drop pods around the whole universe never gets old & fast traveling is 10x easier. You can tell a lot of effort and detail was put into the maps & I love the spacey element. The fast travel upgrade from BL2 is huge. The events are a fun addition, revenge of the cartels makes the game even for fun. Has some pretty funny side missions like the homeopathic one. Same cringey humor as BL2 that makes Borderlands what it is. Ofc the ability to climb is a game changer along with the new elements, radiation is my favorite as a Moze player. Cryo > slag. Action skills are more exciting than in 2, plenty of room to build upon them to make them even stronger adds to how customizable gameplay is.

Lost Loot was a great idea. And the most annoying part about BL2 for me is gone - picking up guns and selling them at vending machines was so tiring. The ability to automatically get $ from an item from pressing a button instead of carrying it around and waiting to sell it at a vending machine might be my favorite difference between the games lmao

Complaints about too many legendaries???? I love the huge variation of weapons, esp legendaries bc there are so many that serve different purposes. I don't get what's bad about about more cool loot to find. The weapon upgrades are entertaining to play around with (weapon shields, reflection of bullets, variation in reload perks, bipod, chain guns, 2 in 1 elemental guns, COV infinite magazines, splash damage, anointed weapons, etc.). I'm currently collecting all the legendary weapons like pokémon cards

Borderlands 2 will go down in history as one of the best games to ever exist. Just appreciating the differences and have no complaints that others have had yet. Can't wait to play the DLCs

Since the deathless artifact puts my health at 1 in exchange for more shield, would the Culminating Red Suit shield work well with it considering the amp damage drain?

i'm worried if i have only 1 health, the amp damage drain will make me really vulnerable to dying. I'm playing Moze and have good shield of retribution skills btw. Thanks!!