u/kaladin143

I'm considering going there. I'm worried it will be in large portion populated by a bunch of weebs/passport bros. It has a 59% graduation rate which leads me to believe a lot of people don't take the academics seriously.

Is it actually a good school for someone pursuing math/CS? I probably have better options available, but it could be a worthwhile safety. I just don't want to go there if it's just an Anime week incel hole.

I (18M) am asking a girl (18F) on a first date. I'm not sure where to hold the date, and I'd appreciate advice from women on what you like, and what concerns are valid.

Walk around a lake

Pros

* it feels romantic

* not over the top

* gives us time to talk

Cons

* nothing to do if the conversation dies even for a short time

* leaves the girl without an easy way to leave which could make her less comfortable

* could make the girl stressed about what to wear since we will be outdoors

Movie theater

Pros

* I work at a theater over school breaks, so it's very easy

* it creates a more casual environment

Cons

* not what I want for my first date

* not romantic

* limits our ability to talk

* movies give me bad second hand embarrassment

Tennis double date

Pros

* tennis is fun

* creates a casual atmosphere

* she plays tennis competitively

Cons

* I need to convince a friend to do the double date with us

* since she plays competitively, it might not be fun to play with a bunch of casuals

* limited ability to talk

Coffee date

Pros

* kind of romantic

* let's us talk to each other

* familiar environment

Cons

* generic

* nothing to distract if conversation dies

* I don't like using caffeine

Study date

Pros

* we are both very academically inclined

* lets us talk to each other

* kind of romantic

* gives a conversation topic

Cons

* I worry I'll struggle to multi-task

* might make it hard for her to look forward to the date

* might make me seem nerdy in a bad way

tl;dr woman tell me what you like for your first date environment, and why. Feel free to also tell me all about popular first date environments that you do not like.

Thank you for your input.

Just me? Not even the fun ones like 17, 73, and 101?

edit: added 73.

Don't apply.

Make me the next big admissions influencer. My technique is easy, and it guaranteed to work even with a -0.4 gpa.

Please reach out to me if you want to pay an absurd amount of money for my book or course.

Some mental health issues would go away if we just didn't think about them.

That sounds weird at first, and probably unhealthy, but hear me out. To explain further, I find that I am prone to overthinking things when I'm alone. I often spiral a little negatively when I start thinking about philosophy. In this process, I think of big problems that basically just don't exist.

On the flipside, when I'm doing something productive, or in public, and I don't have time to just think, I'm a normal happy person. If I could just not overthink things, I would get rid of so many problems I had to think myself into.

This idea came out of me thinking about my previous post linked here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/1vbzold/why_is_everything_easy_for_me/

I'd also like to give a big thanks to everyone, I'm amazed how much feedback I got on that post. I'm pretty new to posting on reddit, so it was really great to get so much dialog.

The entire problem discussed is a perfect example of what I'm describing. The issue was in simple terms: "if I'm good at math, isn't it unfair for me to do well in math?" Now I think this looks absurd to 99% of people 99% of the time. It looks absurd to me 90% of the time too. It's just that 10% of the time when I think about it too hard.

In my belief, there is actually no problem here. There is nothing I have to solve. I literally just need to stop overthinking it.

Please share some other examples of problems that only exist when you think about them.

Additionally, share the tricks you use to avoid overthinking. Specifically when you have nothing else to do like when trying to go to sleep.

Also, a quick disclaimer, this obviously doesn't apply to everything. Most mental struggles should not be ignored and usually require action.

I'm going to sound absurdly arrogant. And I am. That is the problem I want to fix. In short, most things in life feel "easy" to me. I'm in high school. People talk about struggling in classes, or doing hours of homework when discussing classes where I really don't need to put in any effort to succeed.

It feels unfair. Some people put way more effort than me into things like mathematics and see way less success.

This idea is harmful to me in day to day life. I've dealt with this feeling for a while, so I'm not the worst I've ever been, but it definitely contributes to a subconscious superiority complex. It also makes it hard for me to relate to other people. Despite things coming easy, I still put a lot of time and effort into my studies. I hate to say it, but that actually hurts my social life. The further I get ahead, the fewer people I can relate to.

I don't know what the cause of this is. I really hate the idea that it is genetic. I would love to believe it was all nurture, but I can't help feeling like some things are just unfairly easier for me.

I will explicitly state my main questions to keep this productive as opposed to it being a rant.

Does anyone else deal with this?

Could I be imagining this?

Is there science to back up or disprove this experience?

How can I balance my ego and shame around this? To elaborate, I feel like I switch between being overconfident about my achievements, and then feeling like I don't deserve any of it because I have some kind of innate advantage. How do I balance the two or escape the cycle entirely.

My biggest fear is that it is all in my head, and therefore I am horribly arrogant. I'd prefer to only be kind of arrogant.

Also, I already understand that intelligence and human value are separate. It is not helpful advice to just "understand other people's values," or anything similar. I understand how other people have different values, circumstances, and goals. I also understand that people have strengths that I don't get to see when interacting with them (the classic example being a bad student who is really good with cars).​

For context, I'm in high school going into my senior year. I've never dated before. I've felt attracted to Asian and non Asian people. I currently have a crush on an Asian girl, and I'm scared to pursue it because I don't want other people, or her to think I have an Asian fetish. I'm honestly leaning towards just not risking it. Asian people are uncommon in my area, so it wouldn't cost that much to just not risk dating an Asian.

Does anyone else share this fear? Does anyone else have a story of this being a real problem?

If I do stop with this girl, what is the best way to tell her? I'm confident we are both interested in each other. I've sent a lot of positive signals, so I would feel a responsibility to explicitly say if I am no longer interested.

I wasn't even aware this idea of men with Asian fetish was a thing until recently. To Asian women, do you actually encounter guys with an Asian fetish who don't care about your personality or lean into stereotypes? Maybe I'm too optimistic because I'm young, but it just seems like there can't be so many guys with such problems.

edit: I'm 17, she is a grade below me so probably 16, I don't know for sure.

Also, a lot of people discussed how it depends on if I'm into Asian culture. I'd say not particularly, but I have non zero interest. I enjoy origami, but that stems from my interest in math. The history of parts of Asia is interesting, just like parts of European history are interesting. I like Asian cities because skyscrapers are cool, but I like Denver and Chicago for the same reason.

Being valedictorian is one of those things that is always mentioned on a "perfect" application. This really annoys me because of how it is calculated.

The depressing truth is that aiming for valedictorian rewards laziness. My school uses a 5.0 system. Every time i take a 4.0 class it hurts my gpa. I'm learning French while the to be valedictorian is taking a free block because the 4.0 would hurt their grade.

It ticks me off, I'm hoping colleges understand this.

I'm currently working with an online college application mentor. The platform rules say it is strictly not allowed for us to have communication off of their website. But their website sucks. The message feature is horrible for long messages, and their web call feature is barely functional. Not knowing we were breaking the rules, my mentor and I have had calls on Microsoft teams. We have also collaborated through Google Drive. Is this normal? I feel like it might just be a don't ask don't tell liability issue. My mentor and I are both happy to communicate off the platform.

Do you think there is serious risk to us communicating off the platform?

Does anyone actually care?