u/kismet_karma_347

I posted a little while ago about having a tween who was embarrassed to be seen with me. I was being facetious in the title but the heart of what I was trying to communicate was that I was looking for ways to feel a bit more confident about myself. I tried to link to the original post but I'm not sure if it worked. I'm not very familiar with doing that. My post history is visible for anyone that wants to see the original.

Original post

I received some very kind and helpful suggestions as well as some that were not so kind. To those that were suggesting I get rid of my daughter or punish her for expressing an opinion, you can go kick rocks. She's the most fabulous human that I know and I'll definitely be keeping her.

After reading through all of the feedback I made a couple small changes:

1. I went to the top rated salon in my city and let the master stylist have complete freedom to cut my hair as he saw fit. I'm actually loving the result!

2. Heatless curls are awesome, easy, and fun.

3. I ordered some skincare stuff from The Ordinary (including sunscreen!!). I received lots of fabulous product recommendations but in the interest of keeping it simple I stuck with one product line and started with a very basic routine that's easy to keep up with. She has some basics from Bubble that she loves as well. My daughter and I now do our skin care routine twice a day and it has been so much fun to start and end the day hanging out with her. Rest assured that I will be keeping the bar of soap off my face and in the shower where it belongs!

4. I signed both of us up for an Ipsy subscription. We received our first bags and it was fun to experiment. I actually really like a few of the new products! We are looking forward to our next bag to arrive and we have decided to have a monthly "girl's night" when we get them. I love that I now have a designated time with her to bond doing something she enjoys. It has opened the door for more conversations about self love and body positivity.

5. I'm leaning into the tween embarrassment! Don't like it when I sing in the grocery store? Cool. Watch me do the Dougie on aisle 5! So far this is my favorite change.

Overall this has been a great opportunity for growth for me and hopefully for her too. I think it's a wonderful thing to learn from our children while also setting an example. I was really uncomfortable with all the attention that my first post received because I'm a fairly private and simple person. I've decided to leave it up and to provide an update because I know possibly somewhere out there is another mom that is in my position and wondering the same things. I hope that mom gets something from me being open and feeling very vulnerable with this process.

Lastly, my gray hair is here to stay! I'm going to rock it with pride. I do not fear aging, I fear being inauthentic to myself and my gray is a part of who I am.

Now I'm off to go play in my garden while feeling like a fabulous silver fox! Thanks Reddit!

He was not happy about leaving the nest.

First time growing butternut squash. When is it ready? Also, feel free to share easy recipes. I've never grown or eaten this before.

TLDR: I am a natural little hippie and I posted this seeking suggestions on how to engage with my daughter who is made up of unicorns, glitter, and sparkles. The title is not serious. I have all the answers I need now. Saga is concluded!!

EDIT I am putting this at the top so people will read it before my original post. I posted this yesterday thinking I would get a few replies and suggestions. I woke up this morning and I was shocked that there has been so much interaction with this. It seems that my title and post are polarizing and has started some interesting conversations. I debated deleting this post but I'm going to leave it up in case another woman gets some benefit from my question and the responses.

Just to be clear... my daughter is a fabulous person and I was being facetious with the title. We have a great relationship and I will not be donating her to charity! I made this post seeking advice from women who have walked this path before me. I was hoping to find ways to engage with my daughter doing the things that she enjoys at the moment. It's not that serious and she has never once made me feel ashamed of who I am. I am comfortable in my skin and love myself. She loves me too! My home is one that is centered around body positivity, self love, respect and kindness. I am grateful for the responses and the wisdom that many of you have shared with me. I sincerely thank you for that.

Oh, and my gray hair is here to stay!

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Original post:

I have always been a very natural outdoor enthusiast. If I have the choice, I would prefer to be sweating outside in my garden than doing anything else. I have chosen to embrace aging naturally but at the same time after turning 42 I have noticed some very quick changes. I'm fairly sure I'm in perimenopause. My tween daughter is a little diva in training and is fascinated by skin care and makeup. She has made some very gentle comments recently that I should try a different look and style. She's a good kid and I know her heart is in the right place but I am lost with where to begin!

So ladies I'm relying on you all for advice because I am absolutely clueless. Any advice you give about make up, skin care, hairstyle or otherwise will need to be explained like I am five because the most I do is put on mascara for makeup, sometimes eyeliner. My skin care routine consists of washing my face with a bar of soap and putting some lotion on. My hair is naturally gray (and I love it!) and I recently decided to let my curtain bangs grow out so they are parted on the side.

Suggestions? Tips? Anything??

EDIT: you all are a lovely bunch and I really appreciate the feedback! I should probably have made it more clear that I'm not looking to change myself but I am always open to improvement. My home will always be one that encourages body positivity and accepting who you are as a whole and complete person.

I am also trying to find a way to engage with my daughter and her hobbies. She is truly a lovely young lady and she is not coming from a place of judgment or being a jerk. She is sharing what she is interested in and she is doing it in the way that she knows how as a young child.

***LAST EDIT: Thank you for the information and perspectives. I have received some really helpful advice and had a reality check at the same time. After reading a lot of comments I think the main takeaways are:

1. to have a few makeup/makeover nights where I let her use my face as a fun canvas, then wash it off and go back to being a natural little hippie.

2. find a good moisturizer and look into HRT

3. WEAR SUNSCREEN

I'm heading out now to go dig in the dirt. Thanks Reddit!

I have two large blueberry bushes in containers. The new growth leaves are yellowing. Suggestions?