u/kitwilde

In the last few months I’ve become increasingly aware how the clothes I pick either assist or impede me from moving my body appropriately.

Being bendy my body works around whatever limitation or boundaries externally that are provided but I’ve found elastic and other things that are constricting or form forcing to be keeping me in bad patterns.

I might’ve taken this to an extreme a bit these days, and aim to be “nudist” in my place of residence as much as I can to be more aware of my true body’s movement so I can adjust.

I’ve found robes around the house are also comforting, but I’m still struggling to find clothes that really are more of a help than hinder for me. (I share that I’m a guy which could impact solution paths for me; it’s not likely I’ll be wearing dresses but also ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

This post might be a bit weird, but if my experience can help or be a connecting bridge to others I’ll be a bit weird!

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

Hi all, I had never seen corn milk before but I randomly saw a carton and got curious! Has anyone tried corn milk before, what are your thoughts?

I’ve cycled through most of the plant based milks and have ended up back at soy these days, but I’m always curious about alternatives!

Thanks, have a great day everyone

Hi all, I go to individual T, group T, as well as online support groups.

I’m trying to feel empowered and hopeful about the next steps in life but I feel so tired. Like I’ve lived my life and now I’m fizzling out just waiting for the lights to turn off.

Feel free to ignore but here’s part of my story:
I was in survival mode for most of my life; until I had a dissociative amnesia episode that lasted for over week due to the way it was handled by those I trusted. I was out in inpatient in an unconscious state, drugged and unaware. “Waking” back up was terrifying, staff belittled all the patients and ran it like cuckoos nest. With all the shame of being “disturbed”, I was able to get out of the inpatient and rush to my job to be let go due to unexcused absence, I tried to explain but they needed more info than I could fathom to provide at the time. I was in shock and trying to find safety. I was the only one working between me and my partner, providing an amazing apartment and cats. My partner took the cats to her home and since I didn’t have the wherewithal at the time to put up a fight I let her have them, I know they’re well taken care of and have each other. My lease was also ending. It was a cluster bomb of high stress.

I came from a home with an alcoholic father and overly medicated mother. As a kid I was the emotional bandage that kept my parents together. Lots of “emotional incest” and abuse of my state of mind as a kid to reset my mother. After which I’d dissociate because I learned I was just a tool to clean my mother’s mind between the consistent fights my parents had.

So, since I lost my job I was struggling and returned to my parents home while I underwent intensive therapy for a year+ as per the inpatients requirement after leaving. (Oh I was also misdiagnosed as schizophrenic and given a ridiculous amount of drugs at inpatient, that I was able to ween off of by the time I left and got a real psych. Ugh.)

I am stuck in this mindset of waiting for a few good days of recovery—to feel ready to tackle the world before I “begin again,” but I’m also constantly being pulled down into negative emotions and immature patterns around my parents. The referee in the house.

My parents have had relationship issues and it really has disturbed my whole life; Im really falling apart now. The career path I chose was for money, because money provided safety—I could dissociate and numb myself knowing I’d be able to provide for another and myself. Getting into the work force at all is a debilitating mindset now because being “awake” 100% of the time, I’m allowing myself to have and formulate opinions instead of just dissociating and ignoring things I dislike until they’re over. Really I learned everyone comes before me; I should minimize myself and take up less resources than anyone. Which has also caused me to hold my body weird to not impact others boundaries; I got broad shoulders, seats ain’t meant for larger bodies, when my shoulders are in a rest position they’re in someone else’s rest position, I learned that I was “less than” so I hug myself and squeeze to reduce size.

Im grateful that I’m now awake and experiencing the world, I’m also saddened to be woken up so late in life. I’m really fighting the dissociative tendencies when those are the patterns that my parents home have come to expect.

My parents have never found peace in this life without escapism. I’m trying.

Thanks for reading.

Do you all have any techniques that you find to help best when you’re in a helpless/powerless state of mind?

I don’t think I see shredded carrots as a star in too many dishes but recently I’ve been making the same thing—shredded carrots, some beans and celery with some spices… the carrots add some sweet moister texture that really makes me crave the next bite…

I’m a level one vegetarian, mainly eating plant-based chick’n nuggets as I try to shift my diet to a healthier version… (I’ve been meat free for 3 years now but still haven’t been able to make consistent good patterns…)

Any and all help appreciated! ☺️

I didn’t realize how top heavy my piece got without water in the orb… flipped and got a large dab (just started the bowl…) straight to the thigh after it got to temp…

Terp pearl scars here I come…. Currently bandaged up.

Ugh, be safe/smart out there friends :(

I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what my eyes would do, but it’s mesmerizing. I thought it was vss with just a repeated pattern but after more research looks like it’s something else… but maybe we’re cousins? 🥺

I couldn’t find a more suitable community, and I really thought this was VSS for awhile—so leaving this post for others intel and for communicating with other parties.

Just our boi sig?

Reaper has a line saying he’s a high functioning psychopath…

widow has something going on, but she was also being drugged and stabilized in a possibly dissociated way for personal gain by Talon.

Soldier might have a savior complex…

ETA:
I’m thinking most characters could have a label provided to them, but only a few might’ve been labeled within the universe.

Blizzard!! I think we need to add a therapist to the roster—or character development team 😅

I learned they are not great units but faith purchased units early was exciting for me, I had such a brain worm for a long time I thought warrior monks religion was the grand master chapel as well.

Nihangs are the grown up warrior monks…sometimes….maybe lolahore

Are yall faithful warriors (faith), purchase people(gold), or productive pariahs(production) when looking to build an army?