Self-perception tends to be wrong
This year I have learned a lot about self-perception, how the idea we have of ourselves in our minds often has no bearing on reality.
- A year ago a F21 told me my skin looks great because I have no pores. The second part threw me off, no pores? What on earth is she talking about? It stuck with me, so I started paying attention. And I've realised looking at the mirror that while my skin has pores, they are actually fairly non visible to the naked eye, small I suppose. This is a good thing, but I would not have realised this by myself. It wasn's a misconception, as I never thought I had large pores, but I was totally unaware of it.
- I always thought that I had broad shoulders, my whole life, until I went to a seamstress to have a blouse made and she took my measurements. She measured my shoulders twice because she couldn’t believe the measurement, she said my shoulders measure 11 cm while the average is 14-15. This blew my mind, my shoulders are narrower than average, so far from broad.
- Not to mention all the 20 something’s I see on Reddit saying they have nasolabial folds, and then you see a pic of a perfectly fatty and plump cheek.
The one about my shoulders formed in adolescence and I only learned I have narrower than average shoulders at around 50. My mom could have help me correct that one! The sad part is that I still look at them and think they are wrong, but instead of saying they are broad, I tell myself they are too narrow (and bulky).
Wrong beliefs can stuck for decades. I would urge others to help correct young people’s misconceptions about their bodies whenever they can, kindly of course, and direct them to see their positives. And generally speaking, I think we should all be complimenting each other more. We have a tendency to focus too much on what's wrong, and not on what's right (like my pores).
Have you got similar examples?