This post is not for me, just wanted to put that out there.
Anyone had any experience with being on the compassionate use program for medical marijuana in texas while on probation?
Probation officer is making a big deal out of it even though my friend had a prescription for the past two years. The officer wants to set up a hearing now even though my friend has been coming back positive since last year.
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my partner and I often feel this resentment towards him for having another child. He was 23 when his ex who was 33 got pregnant. He actually met her when he was 19 and she was 29. I find the whole situation pretty disturbing as I am 28 years old and I could NEVER imagine dating a man 10 years younger than me. But to each their own. He’s told me the story between them and how his daughter was unplanned and he was basically “baby trapped” by this woman. They were not together when his daughter was conceived, they actually had met up one night and she had told him she was not ovulating and her getting pregnant at the time was entirely impossible. They went their separate ways and a month later she shows up with a positive pregnancy test and a mug that said best dad ever. He was blindsided by this but he just faced the reality and accepted that he was going to be a dad regardless of if he felt ready or not. I should probably mention, this woman did the same thing with her ex a couple years before simply for a monthly child support check from a wealthy man. I kind of despise a woman like this, to have children for her own selfish reasons. I’m not going to say she’s a bad mother because I really don’t know what goes on in her home. All I do know, she continues to spank her 13 year old daughter to the point CPS was called. She pulled both of her daughters out of school due to her own embarrassment of the situation without any concern of the children just finishing the rest of the school year where they were at. I can only imagine she spanks my partners and her daughter as well. His daughter is 7 btw and I’ve met her a handful of times. The ex also has this revolving door of men in her life and I actually fear for her two daughters because I would not feel comfortable bringing men into my home and having them live with me and my children without some kind of very serious long term commitment. Also their daughter apparently is calling these men that are temporarily in her life as her “step dads”, her mother has never been married. I brushed it off as she’s 7 and doesn’t know any better but I also question is her mother asking her to call these men her step dads?
Back to my feelings, we are pregnant with our first child together and although I always felt I could be with someone who already had kids, and that I could treat them as my own. I fear my own feelings. I feel like my unborn child and this whole pregnancy isn’t special because he’s already experienced this part. I’ve expressed to him how I felt and he’s always told me it is special. But a part of me just can’t get over it. I grieve and mourn a life where I could’ve experienced this as a first time parent with someone who would share the same excitement about being a first time parent. And the sad part is it’s all my feelings. Never has my partner made me feel like “oh I’ve done this before and whatever get over these feelings”. For the most part, he’s more excited for my OB appointments and ultrasounds more than I am. I fear our child is going to have to settle for less because there’s another family where time gets split. And I know this isn’t even a big deal, even parents with bio related kids have to split their time between their kids. But it just feels like it takes away from our child. I also fear the resentment his daughter might feel. She’s young right now and may not understand the situation entirely but a part of me fears that she will grow up to think her father went on to have a “real family” and other children. The ex kept his daughter away from him for two whole years. From the time she was 6 months till she was about 2.5 years old. My partner hates that he missed out on getting to raise a child. And he’s unbelievably excited to raise our child together. I don’t blame him for the situation he was put into, I just sit and mourn everyone’s feelings. I feel like I shouldn’t even have this child for the sake my feelings, our future child’s feelings, his daughters feelings.
It’s to the point that it has stripped me of my own happiness and enjoying carrying this baby. And it’s all in my head. I just need advice from people who may have felt like this before and what the outcomes of their lives look like now. I hold on to the hope everyday that everyone will just be truly happy and that despite all these feelings I will be able to love my baby once she is born and that resentment will dissipate. I just feel so stripped of joy.
This isn’t easy for me at all.
I’m 19 weeks and 3 days with a planned pregnancy but I never thought I’d be having these feelings, even at this stage.
All I wanted was to love my baby and I feel so incredibly guilty for not loving my baby.
I found out I was pregnant exactly at 4 weeks and the second I found out I was just flooded with emotions of WTF did I just do. I have so many medical conditions that would’ve prevented me from getting pregnant so I really didn’t even think it was going to happen within the first cycle of trying.
I feel like I’m just having this baby for my partner and the fact he says he’d be completely shattered by me terminating. I don’t feel ready to have a baby but then I hear so many women say nothing ever prepares them for pregnancy and motherhood until their baby is actually here. I’ve been trying to navigate my feelings for so long, constantly asking subreddits if it’s normal to not feel attached to my baby and not love my baby yet. Everyone always says it’s normal to not have those feelings and they usually go away once the baby is here. I’m terrified of what if those feelings don’t go away.
What breaks my heart is that this isn’t my partners first child. He has a 7 year old daughter that was not planned. He has always said he was baby trapped by his ex because she swore she wasn’t ovulating and it happened after the had broken up. A part of me believes him as she was 10 years older than him. He was 23 and she was 33 and had already had a child with another man who was not in the picture. So my boyfriend was with this woman raising her first daughter and then magically unexpectedly got pregnant with her second child as if she didn’t know how babies are conceived. He tells me his ex just had a baby with her ex just for a child support check every month. I don’t know why this would make me feel any better about having a baby with him but I just went with it. I always thought I could be a step mother to someone else’s child but I never imagined having a blended family with someone. Since I’ve found out that I was pregnant, abortion has been on my mind since 6 weeks. Most of the time because I was unhappy with my boyfriend. Some days I get really upset with myself like why did I chose this person with so much baggage and choose to bear his children. I feel like my baby isn’t even special because he already had a baby. Everyone tells me it’s not the same because it’s different, and that he chose to have a baby with me. But nothing about it feels special. I wish I had all the firsts of having a baby with someone who could share that with. My boyfriend has never made me feel like our baby isn’t special to him but I can’t help but feel this way. He missed out on a lot with his daughter especially because her mother basically held her hostage from him from the time she was 6 months to 2.5 years. He says he wishes he never missed those milestones and wished he could’ve experienced raising a child all the way through. Which makes me just feel guilty even more of possibly taking that away from him.
I really just don’t even know how to feel at this point. I haven’t told anyone that I am pregnant because of the fear of not continuing this pregnancy, the horrible relationship I have with my family, the shame, the guilt. Everything.
We found out the gender a few days ago and there was also a lot of gender disappointment I guess. I was really wishing I wasn’t having a girl because then it makes the situation even harder. Two girls fighting over the love of their father. My partner even said he felt as if her daughter would feel a bit jealous. I thought maybe if we were having a boy it’d feel special because it’s something he didn’t get to experience but that’s not even the reality anymore. I’ve come to terms with the baby being a girl, it was out of my control so no point in being upset about it.
Every step of this pregnancy I feel like I’ve secretly been wishing for a miscarriage because then I wouldn’t have to make the decision. I even wondered maybe if the anatomy scan came back abnormal then I could just terminate. But the baby is perfect, the ultrasound was perfect, the genetic screenings were all perfect. Everything points to this being fate and I’m supposed to have this baby as it’s probably my miracle baby.
I know if I did terminate it would break my heart but I do think I would heal. I had one termination when I was 19 and I did want that baby but the relationship was so abusive and my partner at the time basically forced me into having an abortion. I grieved that loss for years. This time it feels so different, I feel like I don’t even want this baby because the situation just feels so fucked up. I think about everything all the time, how his daughter would feel that he went on to have a family with someone else, and be fully present in another child’s life. I fear her feelings even though it doesn’t even concern me.
I know my feelings are so complicated and I should really talk to someone but I also fear living in state that has banned abortions would just make things so much more difficult.
I wish I felt like having a baby was the right thing for me and not doubting everyday and trying to suppress my feelings and having to just ignore all my feelings all the time.
If anyone has any words of wisdom or support, I’d really appreciate it. I’m so lost.
Hey everyone!
I had a DVT and bilateral pulmonary embolisms last year at 27 years old. I was placed on Eliquis for 6 months. My last dose was in September. I got pregnant in December and just last week my doctor decided I should be on a blood thinner again due to my history of blood clots. I am on Lovenox and doing that with injections once a day. I am now realizing that insane muscle pain and fatigue I was experiencing last year was probably mostly from the blood thinner meds and not my fibromyalgia. Being able to be off blood thinners from October till now really improved the quality of life for me. Everyday didn’t feel like I was just lugging myself around. Now being on injectable blood thinners for two days all those familiar pains have returned and I am wondering if anyone had any recommendations for a prescription pain reliever or muscle relaxer that they were able to take while taking Lovenox, ideally that was safe for pregnancy as well. Thank you all in advance!
My doctor wants me to pay my deductible for my insurance. I told her that the insurance was officially canceled, she stated that I would have to pay it until I can prove it has been termed. I’m confused as to how to go about this. During our divorce, I was allowed to stay on his health insurance as told by his HR. But they said once I get divorced then it is cancelled as I’m no longer a qualifying dependent. I got divorced officially on 04/28 and my doctors appointment was on 4/29 so technically they can’t bill that insurance correct? Telling the doctors office that I was divorced should be a good enough right?
I’m still on my ex husbands marketplace health insurance and that I’ve been reading through healthcare.gov that I have 60 days after the divorce is finalized to change health insurances. So I wanted to use my marketplace insurance for my appointment as it is still active and they’ve had it on file since February. The reason I had two insurances with him was because this employer insurance was very short term (a month really) so I didn’t see a point in cancelling the marketplace insurance for just a month.