Disclaimer: As someone in Jewish communal leadership, I am really proud to emphatically welcome Jewish community across the spectrum of divisive issues. I help steward shomer, secular, unaffiliated, affiliated, Zionist, antizionist, and nonzionist people daily and I really think we, as Jews, should and must and DO come together. That is our superpower. This post is about my experience as an attendee. It is about a staffer. This does not reflect my views on how I would think an attendee. If you are Jewish, it means the world to me to have you as a Jew show up in Jewish spaces. This is specifically about staff, and tolerance.
For context, I was so excited to be together in community for a very special Shabbat dinner. As an Asian Jew and LGBTQ person myself, it meant a lot to me that for the last Shabbat of JAHM, local Jewish leaders came together to create a Shabbat dinner gathering that really told our stories as Asian Jews, Queer Jews, and other JOC groups.
I was really disappointed to see an event staffer (probably not Jewish) put on Palestine earrings and make this the very declarative announcement that everyone attending experienced on arrival. It did not feel kind. It did not feel nice.
It felt like they were approaching their job in a Jewish space with a skeptical aura. I thought about the guy who drove into the crosswalk a few weeks ago and started screaming FREE PALESTINE at me for wearing my kippah. It took me back to seeing people put Palestine stickers on the Oakland menorah, before it was destroyed a few hours later. It made me remember the way a car with a Palestine flag tried to run me over a few years ago. I think about the overwhelming number of Palestine flags that people comment to flood Jewish content on social media.
So to be clear: without any doubt, the Palestinian flag is often used as a hate symbol for people who want to attack Jews and our Jewishness. At the same time, that does not reflect the intent behind every instance of the Palestine flag.
For a lot of people, it is part of being their authentic selves, or just something that is part of their spaces. I think for me, the tolerance that is so unique to Jewish spaces means being tolerant even if something raises questions or discomfort. That tolerance has to be active and affirmative. So yes, I am totally appropriate in having both questions and discomfort: I cannot assume this individual sides with the people who have attacked me, personally, but I cannot assume they do not, either. That ambiguity is where I have to actively express tolerance. For some, maybe the Palestine flag is a symbol that is dear to them, their community, and their spaces. On the other hand, maybe they see they will be working a Jewish event and decide they will wear it send a message to Jews specifically.
The issue with a staffer is that they are in a position of power over attendees and events. I say this as an event worker and event organizer myself. So I decided to speak up.
The staffer was seemingly on break (away on their phone) went I went to talk with the team. They were very close by though so I suppose they heard. I was deeply touched by how their colleagues seemed to understand exactly what I was talking about when I shared about the issue. Thank you to them. It made me feel proud no matter how difficult it was for me and how overwhelmingly self conscious I felt.
It surprised me as I struggled to get the words out, just how high of a standard I held myself to, and how low of a standard that person must hold themselves to by comparison. I deeply understand what it means to navigate spaces where you wonder how your presence can be heavy and difficult simply by existing. Maybe they felt they would be censoring themselves if they gave up their Palestine flag to go staff a Shabbat gathering.
That being said, the weight that I feel never comes from me wearing flags to announce myself: it comes from who I am in my soul, being Indigenous Okinawan, Jewish, and LGBTQ. Simply existing in certain surroundings can feel like the deepest parts of myself and even my physical safety are at risk. I cannot even imagine having the privilege to bypass all that risk and jump to the flag-flying-on-the-clock stage. So even when I try to put myself in their shoes, I have to remember that my ability to empathize should not be used to make false equivalences.
Anyhow, I plan to be more outspoken. I think it makes the world a slightly better place. And by my speaking out, I hope that person knows that they ultimately benefit from the tolerance that really defines Jewish communities. However, that tolerance is not a double standard: it means having to hear my voice, also.