I am the only one who knows the truth, which makes me the only one who has to be silenced next.
It circumcised
Forgot to crop out the guy’s username in the first one oopsies
To my absolute overwhelming ridiculous horror I learned they do not any spices or seasoning.
Then he began the prostate exam…
Every night, I feel my cat leap onto the bed and curl up beside me.
I know it isn’t him, I left him when I moved two years ago, and I never open my eyes because I’m terrified it’ll realize I know.
I peed myself in the pants
I checked my panties and saw a lot of blood.
I don’t have a vagina.
When I arrived at the restaurant I was attacked by an angry ostrich.
But then arose Super Dracula.
Our light illuminated the derelict room just as everyone's voices snapped into silence. Across from us stood a familiar twitching silhouette.
It was actually the Crappalachian mountains and we all shitted our pants to death.
Now the table is covered in blood.