u/libre_office_warlock

Just feeling really down right now.

I got a surprise waitlist admission into an art/tech crossover masters program (my undergrad many years ago was computer science) in my dream country, and it probably wouldn't hurt my career, either, since I've always worked at startups and this school is a huge startup hub.

But...this school (Aalto) is extremely huge on group assignments. They were very clear about that in the interview. Former students were very clear about it. Their online resources are very clear about it.

I know in my heart of hearts that this would be miserable for me even if I DID seek out accommodation, which I never have before and honestly feel really shameful/skeptical/nervous about trying to do (e.g., do I really want 3 brilliant early-20-somethings from around the world to have to deal with this creepily-quiet annoying weirdo millennial American guy who won't even look them in the eyes correctly? Why can't I just handle things like other people do?? etc.). If I knew that I could mostly get individual assignments instead, I'd maybe go for it, but I'm pretty sure that takes away the point of the learning style, which I understand and respect.

Ugh; just need a virtual hug right now.

I've been through school before (and worked long enough) to understand my boundaries, and, yes, even at startups, I am quite the lone wolf often times.

Sometimes the stars just don't align and we have to find something else.

The deadline is fast approaching to accept my surprise waitlist offer for a masters program in the arts. But one thing is holding me back: I really struggle with group work.

I am an autistic millennial guy from the U.S. with a computer science undergrad. My first college experience did not have a lot of group work, but the 2-3 projects that did were miserable for me. Now I work in a startup (and have for the past 11 years), so I'm definitely more and more accustomed to working with all kinds of people.

Still, I'm worried I may not be cut out for this, as badly as I want to attend Aalto otherwise.

My questions for current or former students:

• Did you regularly have to arrange meetings outside of class to get group assignments done, or was most of the work handled during class hours?
• Fellow autistics (or extreme introverts): Did you find the heavy group work difficult to adjust to? Did you find help or mentorship to get through this?

Hi there, millennial trans guy from the U.S. here.

I got a B.S. in computer science at a large American public university back in 2014. I've worked as a software engineer ever since but decided to go back to school outside of the U.S. in order to: 1) be away from my country for a few years and 2) use my savings on something I genuinely enjoy.

Immigration potential would be a bonus, but I already know I'm not setting myself up for that via art-related programs. So I'd rather just enjoy life while I can, since money will fortunately not be an issue.

I got into the New Media masters program at Aalto University (tech/art crossover), as well as some fine art bachelors programs in Canada. Both appeal to me greatly; the research that Aalto does and the projects I had to do for admission absolutely fascinated me. But on the other hand, I have wanted to get formal, traditional art training for my entire life.

If it wasn't for my country's political outlook, I'd go to Finland and have a lovely two years taking long walks alone and making myself leipäjuusto sandwiches with those little circle rye breads from the grocery store. I absolutely love it there.

But these things are making me lean toward Canada/the extra bachelors instead:

• I would get 4 years away from the U.S. instead of just 2
• After graduation, Canada would let me stay longer than Finland would in the event that the U.S. has gotten even worse for trans people (even if just means "twiddle my thumbs and go back into software")
• Setting up private hormone care seems easier in Canada (absolute requirement)
• Canada is much easier for U.S. family and friends to travel to

I dunno: do something I love in my dream country for a short time, or take the 'safer' option and something I also love in a perfectly okay country for a slightly longer time?

Advice appreciated. I have had all legal documents changed (even birth certificate) for many years, so I am not worried about that part when it comes to safety.

Part of me regrets not going for an even safer option (e.g. lab tech school or just trying harder in the international software job market), but I'd rather balance things out with shorter-term joy since I don't know how bad things will get in the world.

So I'm from the U.S. Almost 34, out for 5 1/2 years now.

I've been a software engineer for 11 years. I enjoy it. I live in the wonderful little Colorado childhood home of my also-a-software-engineer partner of (also) 11 years. In a nice world, I'd just keep doing this until AI phases me out. (And I am also a little drunk, for which I apologize).

Anyhow.

Since HRT access matters more to me than anything on earth, I want to leave the U.S. for a few years.

Since I am fortunate to have savings and want to have fun while I can (since I have no idea just how bad it will get globally), I decided to go back to school. In particular, art school or something art-adjacent because that is my passion.

Long story short, I am choosing between an art bachelors program in Canada (Alberta, so...) and an art/tech crossover masters program in Finland.

The Canada school keeps me away from the U.S. for WAY longer, hands down (at least 4 years, with a much longer time allowed to stay after graduation if I wanted to try to find a job).

But the Finland school is...well, it's in my absolute dream country. I have never felt more at home and happy than I have when I visited Finland. But from my understanding, the chances of being able to stay there/in the EU in general are much much slimmer.

But also...Alberta. Not great on trans rights, although I only care about adult HRT access right now since I never entered Canada prior to all my legal documents saying "M". And I lived in Calgary for a month last November/December and felt fine day-to-day. And, of course, Canada is easier for my U.S.-based partner and relatives to visit.

I dunno...I'm kinda dizzy rambling, but...what on earth should I do?

Grad school in my dream country, or the proper full-on art school experience always wanted in a perfectly good different country? I don't expect either to realistically lead to a career change; just a hiatus while I'm still happy to go on living.

Hi there, millennial trans guy from the U.S. here.

I got a B.S. in computer science at a large American public university back in 2014. I've worked as a software engineer ever since but decided to go back to school outside of the U.S. in order to: 1) be away from my country for a few years and 2) use my savings on something I genuinely enjoy.

Immigration potential would be a bonus, but I already know I'm not setting myself up for that via art-related programs. So I'd rather just enjoy life while I can, since money will fortunately not be an issue.

I got into the New Media masters program at Aalto University in Finland (tech/art crossover), as well as some art bachelors programs in Canada. Both appeal to me greatly; the research that Aalto does and the projects I had to do for admission absolutely fascinated me. But on the other hand, I have wanted to get formal, traditional art training for my entire life.

If it wasn't for Trump, I'd go to Finland. It's my dream country and I absolutely love it there.

But these things are making me lean toward Canada/the extra bachelors instead:

• I would get 4 years away instead of just 2
• After graduation, Canada would let me stay longer than Finland would in the event that the U.S. has gotten even worse for trans people (even if just means "twiddle my thumbs and go back into software")
• Setting up private hormone care seems easier in Canada (absolute requirement)
• Canada is much easier for U.S. family and friends to travel to

I dunno: do something I love in my dream country for a short time, or take the 'safer' option and something I also love in a perfectly okay country for a slightly longer time?

Advice appreciated.

Part of me regrets not going for an even safer option (e.g. lab tech school or just trying harder in the international software job market), but I'd rather balance things out with shorter-term joy since I don't know how bad things will get in the world.

Hi there. I'm a slightly-older (millennial) guy from the U.S. who just got offered admission from the waitlist in the New Media masters program.

I got my undergrad in computer science at a large U.S. public university in 2014, and at the time I was aware/newly diagnosed with autism but never sought any assistance of any kind, nor was I aware of the possibility of any sort of accommodation. I muddled through and did well on paper, though it was not a happy time.

I don't think I will seek out accommodation since I seem to survive well in academic environments and fear stigma, but I am very curious to hear about other autistic student's day-to-day experiences at Aalto.

In particular, is there truly a lot of group work and/or group projects? When I first got waitlisted, I comforted myself by thinking, "well, I really dislike group work anyway, so this is probably for the best if that cannot be avoided and is a large portion of the experience."

And did you feel welcome/comfortable overall at Aalto and in Finland in general? I have visited Finland before and absolutely love it, but that's obviously not the same as living there.

Hi there!

I'm from the states and trying to decide between art programs at OCAD and AUArts. I'm FTM, 33, and never entered Canada prior to changing all my legal documents to "M". So aside from using Foria clinic (where my chart started off as male anyway), technically Canada has only ever seen me as male in an official capacity.

I've lived for a few months each in Toronto and Calgary since last September and much preferred Calgary. So I would probably choose to attend AUArts.

But I'm terrified of losing HRT access as an adult. I'm not worried about social treatment or the day-to-day since Calgary was very welcoming and I do pass. Just medication access (or maybe a hardline bathroom ban like my home state of Texas has, since the cost of getting 'caught' is immense).

So...is it probably safe enough to move for school in an adult case like mine?

My gut says maybe yes, since even in the worst U.S. states, adults can get private care for now if they have the money. And in the worst case, I could probably transfer credits to OCAD one day or something if I really had to leave.

But I'm not sure where the social pendulum is right now, and I don't want to lose a bet on my life if it's not, in fact, coming back to the side of non-evil.