u/lilacech0

I (23F) graduated college last year and started working in tech. I currently live with my mom (52), step dad (43), and my older sister (25) in the US. My mom works 4 days a week, 11 hours a day, on her feet at a packaging factory. It’s hard work and I can see how it wears out her body. My step dad also works 3 days in another factory currently.

I have a condition that I’m planning surgeries for so I’m aggressively saving as I’ll be immobile for at least 6 months. I’m also paying off my loans and helping my mom with a couple hundred bucks a month. In addition to that, I cook for my family when I can, and do my best to help out in other ways.

I’m just at a crossroads regarding what to do. My sister doesn’t really contribute much as she has a shaky relationship with my mom and step dad, so I feel like the responsibility is now on me to take care of them entirely. I genuinely feel overburdened and like I’m a horrible person for not being able to help much. I really want to save up for my surgeries because I can feel my own body failing me, and if I don’t have these surgeries soon, the doctor said I’ll develop severe arthritis and will not be able to walk in my 30’s. Is it wrong to want to put myself first, take care of my loans, and then retire my mom? Will I go to hell for this?

Hi all, idk if this is the right sub but I’ll be getting knee surgery on both knees and reconstruction surgeries with external fixations on my feet. I’ve never been on a wheelchair and I’m assuming I’ll be wheelchair bound for at least 6 months. Any advice?

I got a CS degree from a top university and I’m currently working in software consulting in a very specific industry. I agree I should’ve made more of my connections and gotten a better, more reputable position, but the market was very bad when I graduated last May.

In any case, I’ve been working here half a year and considering my future and what I want to do. I want something secure but software is obviously affected by AI. I don’t see the point of getting a masters because it’s additional money without a lot of ROI, but I’ve considered perhaps pivoting with a masters in engineering? Law school? I don’t know what to do with my life, but I feel like I’m capable of more.

So I’m 22 and I graduated last year. I’ve been at this company for six months now. I went to a great college but ultimately settled back home to save for surgeries. The company is great and I have no red flags other than greed and career progression. $70k is good but if I could better my skills somewhere and earn even more to help out my family, that’d be absolutely awesome. Currently, this job doesnt give me a lot of hope on career growth as it’s a very specific software.

So I’m brand new to indie fragrances and fragrances in general but I’ve always had a very sharp nose. I’m looking for something sensual, gothic, bloody, and sweet. I really liked Dior hypnotic poison and tom ford lost cherry because they had depth in them. I’m a huge fan of sweet perfumes just nothing cloying.

I don’t know where to start. I’ve always had anxiety and I can’t remember a day of feeling genuinely at peace—even as a very young child. I grew up in a really dysfunctional household and always being judged/scrutinized.

My brain is constantly firing in every possible direction, making absurd connection, thinking of the worst possible outcome, every little interaction, I feel like I beat myself down and the smallest thing feels like the most life-threatening for the lack of a better word. I feel delusional, in delirium and schizophrenic at times. If I have one bad interaction with my partner or anybody, I can’t let it go. I have nightmares of being abandoned, of bad things happening to me, heart-racing at night.

I’m coming here venting because I really don’t know what to do. I just want to be at peace. I don’t want to think all of these thoughts. I just want clarity and focus. I wanna be happy. I don’t think therapy will irk because I’ve tried therapy and it’s a draining process of finding the right person, and I don’t have the bandwidth or patience for it. I want to consider medication, but I feel defeated. I don’t want to be dependent on substance to be normal.

Some gourmand fragrances I enjoyed:

Dior Hypnotic Poison (my first purchase at 19 when I moved to NYC so I associate it a lot with wintertime in NYC)

Tom ford Lost Cherry (smelled it a lot, haven’t purchased because can’t justify the price)

Sabrina Carpenter Cherry Baby

Glossier You Réve

VS Bare Sueded Vanilla

I’m currently using Burberry Her EDT as my signature fragrance and I really like the honeysuckle note on my skin chemistry.

Hi! I am planning on getting Distal femoral osteotomy at HSS in nyc on both knees. How soon can I fly back to my home state (Georgia)? The flight is about 1.5 hour or 2 hours. I’m already paying a lot out of pocket for the surgeries, and it’s not realistic to stay in NYC for 2-4 weeks until I recover.