u/lostinspace896

10-12 smokes a day for nearly half a decade. The last 24 hrs have been torture but I made a promise to myself and I’m going to keep it.

Before we started dating my ex and I were best friends. Like tied at the hip, spend every possible moment together, soul bonded type of friendship. Naturally we ended up developing feelings for each other and started dating. But that was probably the worst mistake since we were just not compatible as a couple and it ended in an extremely ugly way.

Anyway while we were friends she gave me a very special gift of my favorite pokemon. I’d told her I loved pokemon as a kid so she painted my favorite one. When she gave it to me she asked me “no matter what happens between us please always keep this” obviously I said yes at the time

We’ve been broken up for months now and it’s been the toughest time of my life. The thing that hurts the most is I lost my best friend. I’ve kept the painting as promised but every time I look at it it just brings back painful memories. I’m moving to a new city soon and I feel like this will be my chance at a fresh start, to fully move on. But if I bring that painting with me I don’t think it will be.

I know I made a promise but would I be the biggest asshole for breaking it now?

Edit: I can’t give it back to her. We’re strict no contact and I’m pretty sure she won’t even take a message from me.

Edit: I’m going to donate it to a local kids store or a pokemon store. I know a lot of you said to hold onto it because I may never know what might happen down the road but I don’t care about down the road, I care about right now. She’s never coming back, I’m never going back. Thank you everyone for your advice.

Ok so my best friend passed away while we were both in college about 9 years ago now. She was very important to me and I still haven’t fully gotten over her death. Over the years I’ve named/done some stuff after her like gamertags, wearing a ring etc

Her name was Tanner and I usually shorten it to Tan

Today my gf and I were driving and she noticed, apparently for the first time, that my Spotify name was named Tan. She asked if this was also named after Tanner and I said yes. She got kinda quiet and finally told me it’s not healthy to keep all these memories of Tanner. I said I’m still struggling to fully process her passing and small things like this help me. She said it feels like I’m prioritizing her less, that things like this (names, jewelry) should be between her/me and not me/Tanner.

I got really defensive and angry after that so I just canceled our plans and dropped her home at which point she said I ruined the day.

Am I the ahole? Do I prioritize the wrong person?

Years before she met me, she underwent spinal surgery in July and ofc the whole ordeal was very traumatic and emotional for her. She dubbed the day a “2nd bday”, like being reborn. When she told me about this, I decided to make each anniversary special for her so I made a card and had it scheduled to send for July 2nd via email. I was going to change the message every year but the sentiment would remain the same. I had this all set up back in December. This year would’ve been the first time.

Unfortunately we broke up a couple months ago. It was super messy and we both agreed to go no contact. Yesterday I got a really angry text from her asking wtf I was thinking. I’m like I don’t know what you’re talking about? She said “your email asshole” and accused me of deliberately breaking no contact to try and get back in her life. I went through my email and realized I had forgotten about the scheduled email. I immediately apologized and let her know I had honestly forgotten I had set that up and was in no way trying to get in contact with her and it wouldn’t happen again. She didn’t believe me and threatened to “report me to my work for stalking”.

I haven’t responded anything back since but AITA here?