u/loteleilurke

I’m so sorry if this is all TMI but I literally have no one to talk to about this and I feel safe here under anon hahah

I’ve been with my partner for 5+ years now.

I’ve never really been one to initiate unless I’ve had some liquid courage. I just get insanely awkward and embarrassed trying to be “hot” or “sexy”

I know it upsets my partner that I don’t really initiate and I’m really trying to change that, it probably wouldn’t feel nice to always be initiating.

But also the only place we can do anything is in his family home and his adult siblings are also ALWAYS at home and his bedroom shares a wall with them. It’s so fricken awkward and I can’t even actually enjoy it half the time because we’re trying so hard to be silent and obviously respect other people living in the house.. also doesn’t help that I pretty much NEED a vibe used on me which is also noisy so we barely use it 😞 I wish we could just enjoy it and be kind of careless with it. I think we really need to spice things up somehow but it’s so hard when we have to be super quick and silent. We pretty much do the same two moves and do it as quick as possible which is honestly never really enjoyable and starts to feel like a chore.

I really want to be “s3xy” but idk how to do it!!!?!!? Like I want to get him to go crazy with anticipation of it and then initiate it but idk how to even flirt or text him like that without literally wanting to curl up into a ball and never be seen again. Im such an awkward unconfident person day to day 😭

If anyone has ANY advice on anything I would love love love to hear it. I want to be confident and actually enjoy myself and spice things up!!!

So some backstory, I’m 22 and dislocated my dominant shoulder for the first time about 4 weeks ago.

At the hospital I was told to wear a sling for 2 weeks and then start physio. But after speaking to my regular GP afterwards, he said I potentially could have taken the sling off after around 7 days.

I ended up taking the sling off and sleeping without it around day 12 and unfortunately ended up dislocating it again in my sleep.
After the second dislocation, I was again told to wear a sling for 2 weeks.

Both times I had an X-ray, and the second time I also had an ultrasound. Unfortunately they couldn’t see much apart from a small divot because it was done very soon after the dislocation and everything was still too swollen.

I believe both dislocations may have been posterior based on where I remember feeling the joint sitting but I’m not 100% sure because both times it relocated itself before I was actually seen.
It’s now been exactly 2 weeks since the second dislocation, so according to the doctor I should be able to stop using the sling.
I’m booked into a fracture clinic in just under a week to work out next steps, but in the meantime I genuinely don’t know what I should be doing.

I still have very minimal range of motion. I can barely lift my arm in front of me or out to the side. It’s not really pain stopping me, I just physically cannot lift it further. To get my arm higher I basically have to lean my whole body sideways with it.
Is that normal at this point? Should I keep using the sling until the fracture clinic or start trying to move it more?

From memory, after the first dislocation I had significantly more ROM by this time :/

I’m honestly so over being in this sling. TMI but I’ve developed a really awful rash in my armpit because my arm has basically been pressed against my body for almost a month.

I’m also scared I’m going to end up needing surgery. The surgery itself isn’t really what scares me, it’s the thought of not being able to work or drive for even longer because I’ve already used most of my leave.

Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar or has any advice.

I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask and I’m truly sorry if it isn’t.

My father passed a few days ago, he will be cremated. We have chosen the clothes for him to be viewed in already etc.

I’ve found it incredibly difficult to come to terms with this, it doesn’t feel real to me yet. He was away visiting family when he passed so to me, being at home, it feels as though he’s still on vacation. Occasionally I’ll realise what’s happened and cry but it’s been very confusing.

He was not in great health in the years leading up to his death, especially in the last few months/year. He did not have any significant trauma in his death.

It’s now coming up to the day and I’m just scared that Im making the wrong decision. I’m wondering if it will give me the closure I need but I’m also wondering if it’s traumatic?

Sorry again if this is the wrong place to ask, please let me know if it is and I’ll go elsewhere. Any advice is appreciated!

Edit for context: There will be no formal funeral service. He had spoken to his sister only the day before and mentioned he didn’t want one. So we’ll just be doing the cremation and then a wake. Idk if this context is necessary

I dislocated my shoulder for the first time less than 2 weeks ago. I was in the gym and accidentally turned my elbows out during a shoulder press and bang, my shoulder dislocated backwards.

It relocated itself after about an hour and I went to hospital. After an X-ray I was sent home with a sling and told to keep it on for two weeks. That night and the following few days it was definitely very sore but didn’t feel wildly unstable, I did go to sleep only a matter of hours after that though.

After about a week and a half I saw my GP for a referral to physio and he told me I should have actually taken my sling off on day 7. I took it off after that but still slept in it until last night.

I decided to sleep without it last night since my GP was confident with it being mostly fine aside from my ROM not being entirely back. I unfortunately dislocated it backwards again in my sleep, I have no idea how I did it, I think I just threw the arm behind my head. It was excruciating and unfortunately was out of the socket for 4 hours before it again relocated itself (ambulance took a while lol).

I got another X-Ray and was pretty much just sent home and told to get an ultrasound.

It’s now 12ish hours later and I’ve been in the sling all day but my shoulder feels so SO unstable. Like it feels like if I slightly shift my weight it could come out again and it seems so much more sore than last time.

I don’t know if this is just me panicking and overthinking because I’m so scared of it happening again in such a short time but I also don’t know if this is unusual and I should go get checked out?

I’m literally SCARED to go to sleep because I’m so worried it will pop out again.

Sorry this is longer than I expected but main question, is it normal for it to feel this unstable not long after a dislocation/relocation? Or should I be concerned?

I know I KNOW I sound insane because why can’t I just wait to fake tan but here’s the thing.

I went to the gym last night and was planning to go home and tan afterwards because I’ve been feeling a bit down and just wanted a fresh tan to bring some confidence back, also there’s an event this weekend.

Sadly I had an accident in the gym and dislocated my shoulder backwards.. worst pain of my life, and to make it worse, it’s my dominant arm. Went to hospital and I’m now in a sling for two weeks. It’s the next day and my arm is still super tender and I shouldn’t really move my shoulder for 2 weeks but I am DESPERATE to tan, because now more than ever I want a bit of confidence, a bit of put together-ness.

Does anyone know any surefire way of being able to tan your back and arm without moving one arm? I have one of those extender things from Bondi sands but I’ve never actually used it.

Obviously I don’t want to be stupid and hurt myself over something I could easily live without but surely someone understands my thought process right now haha.

Please don’t judge, I know it might seem silly but all I want is to feel a bit put together and confident now, especially since I’m feeling extra down and sorry for myself hahah

I want to start by saying I’m not actually diagnosed with OCD so I’m sorry if I’m not meant to be posting here and you’re welcome to remove it. My whole life I’ve had traits and in recent years it’s become crippling in a lot of ways (hoping to see a psychologist soon but I’m struggling with money).

Tonight I was cooking a dinner I’ve cooked multiple times but using raw chicken which I don’t often use for this reason.
I cut open the chicken packet on the cutting board and then moved it and left it open on the bench but covered by paper towel. I didn’t actually touch the chicken. I rinsed the cutting board and then started prepping my vegetables.

I moved the cut up vegetables to another bench and then started using tongs to move the chicken into the airfryer and as I was doing this I eventually noticed chicken juice dripping off the chicken as I moved it.

I finished making my food and now sitting here I can’t remember if I actually moved the vegetables and I’m almost 100% sure I dropped all of that chicken juice onto the vegetables. I’ve had a few bites but I truly am seconds away from a panic attack, I’m shaking, I feel like I could vomit. I’m so terrified and fully convinced there is raw chicken juice on everything I’m eating right now. I don’t want to throw it out because I don’t want these thoughts to win (and I hate food waste) but I feel so unsafe and scared right now.

I have never ever had this severe of a reaction to something like this. In the past I’ve barely actually struggled with most contamination things except for the common worry about raw chicken. Hell I once even started eating chicken at a restaurant that ended up being raw and I was anxious but I didn’t react this badly.

Idk what’s going on or where this has all come from. I’m having an unusually high anxiety day in general so maybe that’s caused this and maybe it isn’t even OCD and maybe I sound like an idiot posting here who knows.

I’m sorry this is such a messy vent idk what to do I just needed to get this off my chest. The meal is still sitting next to me and I can’t bring myself to eat it

Also: I truly hope this isn’t disrespectful considering I’m not diagnosed and I’m sincerely so sorry if it comes across that way, please let me know if so and I’ll take it down

Edit; actually I guess maybe I have dealt with a lot of compulsions and intrusive thoughts around sicknesses and I’m not sure if that’s the same thing but I’ve never been severely worried about food contamination like this