u/m0thrafukka

I, a 35 f, am so sick of all the NSFW on all social sites like Instagram, Facebook, and Tiktok.

These rules for posting what is and isn't acceptable on tiktok are not upheld to a standard that includes these creepo work around people post. 'Full body massage' videos, people posting videos wearing teeny tiny barely covering clothing, and SO much more.

Teens and children (don't agree with kids being on these things) have access to these things so easily. Adults creep around on it behind their partner's back.

Absolutely disgusting and poisoning people's brains into thinking it's 'no big deal' when it's basically soft core porn. I'm sick of it.

My (35 f) partner (38 m) has depression and a couple of months ago, he decided to stop taking his medication. I can see how it has affected him and how much (self created) stress he has been feeling, but he refuses to take medication anymore or seek therapy.

I started therapy recently because I've been stressed between work, home, and how my partner has been. He was supportive when I told him, but he also immediately went off on how some therapists just feed into people's negative traits. It didn't make me feel supported. He's just been very negative towards everything.

This week, he's gotten himself SO worked up. He admitted he was not doing well and knew he'd been distant/moody. I comforted him. Supported him through listening and holding him when he asked.

Today, we did chores after his weekend shift as discussed. But he misunderstood that we were doing one task together and then the other two tasks we would split off to complete separately. I had told him clearly in a text earlier in the day and said it again when we started the task of clearing kitchen cabinets out together.

Specifically, I asked him to help empty the cabinets with me and tell me what he did/didn't want from in them. That I would put things away once we went through things. Then I would clean the kitchen and he would clean the bathroom.

Once we finished the task of clearing the kitchen cabinets and just needed to take out the trash, he asked about me helping with the bathroom. I told him 'no, that's your task. I need to clean the kitchen now that we cleared things out. It's what I texted you and said earlier'.

He tried to say I took advantage of his help because I asked him to put a few things away cause he was already doing it. The original plan I was going to put everything away and I had said it while we cleared the cabinets. I just thought he was being extra helpful and appreciated the assist.

He then refused to clean the bathroom because I wouldn't agree to help. The bathroom is literally 6 ft by 5 ft and it just was the sink and toilet that needed a quick wipe down. The kitchen needed a full wipe down of cabinets, counters, appliances, walls, and floors. Which we discussed, I would do.

I am not in charge of his emotions. He misunderstood. But all the blame is being put on me. He shouted at me and wouldn't listen to anything I said. Then silent treatment for the whole evening.

I set a boundary that I would not be making dinner because of how he was treating me (yelling and silent treatment). He scoffed when I said it was a boundary and made a negative comment along the lines of 'I don't clean because you took advantage of me and now you think it's fair to not cook dinner.' He literally did this to me the other week, got upset over something that was a non-issue, and suddenly decided he wasn't cooking dinner. Rule for thee but not for me energy

AITAH for him misunderstanding? For telling him I wouldn't make dinner because of how he was treating me?

My partner is exhausting because he keeps starting fights over nothing. It could be his RSD. It could be that he is just tired. Or something else entirely.

But the fights start from nothing (sharing my opinion or perspective on something) or a comment/question he assumes was passive-aggressive. Bad faith and no patience. It's getting out of hand.

He is not taking meds anymore for his adhd. He isn't taking his depression meds either. He refuses to go to therapy, a 'been there, done that' attitude about it.

But the constant snipping and shift in mood are impossible some days. He says 'I think it's half' and I say 'I think it's a third', then he flips out because he thinks I'm intentionally disagreeing to upset him. Excuse me?

I try speaking calmly and ask questions, trying to figure out what is triggering this. He freaks out because he thinks I'm talking that way to control him and the situation, when I'm really just trying to understand and speak softly rather than yelling/attitude. It doesn't seem to matter, though.

I get that he's a neurospicy guy, I've known from the start. But this is teetering on that edge of emotional abuse for me. I can't speak up for myself because he shuts me down and says nothing I say or do is genuine. Calls me disrespectful for just expressing my own opinion or sharing how something upset me, but doesn't see how he is the pot calling the kettle black with how he treats me.

Partner got a vasectomy back in March of this year. He was anxious and should have been put under for it, but he didn't call ahead to make that switch in time.

The day we left the after the procedure, the doctor said they felt confident they got it, despite one not being a full segment. Now, 3 months later, he provides a sample, and they're still alive and kicking.

We are obviously not happy about this, and he is honestly furious. He was squirming towards the end of the procedure, so it made it difficult for them. He and I both warned them it would be best to give him something for anxiety, and they didn't.

I've read most doctors will have you do another sample another month or so out, but it sounds like they want to fully reschedule another procedure. How normal is it to jump to scheduling it again over waiting for another sample?

My (35f) sister (28f) called me suddenly at 11pm while I was winding down for bed. She never calls me without usually a heads up unless it's an emergency, and especially not so late. I knew something was up, so I picked up immediately. Didn't even consider my sleeping partner next to me.

Hello? Everything okay?

At first, she didn't respond. The anxiety in me was already high, and then I heard her crying. Anxiety peaked, I didn't care my partner was asleep, I said her name and asked if she was OK again.

Finally, she responded through sobs. Told me her partner had come into their room not walking correctly, not making any sense, and started throwing up in a trash bin. He had left the room briefly and came back without the bin. When my sister asked where it was and what was going on. He had zero idea what she was talking about and started verbally lashing out.

I went to the living room to continue the call.

To preference, my sister just gave birth to their only child just over a week ago, and they've been living with his parents in a single bedroom. He has a history of drinking and mental health issues. They are about an hour from me and 4 hrs from our mom.

With his behavior and history, my sister didn't want him in the room with the baby tonight. She'd been able to convince him to leave after several attempts and called me upset right after.

I talked to her for near an hour. Told her that that's not acceptable behavior from him, to not tolerate or handle it alone if he came back. That she should tell his folks who are in the same house as them and call me as well as our mom if it happens again. That if he doesn't leave, then she should take the baby and come here to my place. I have my sound on if she needs to call again.

After we hung up, I went back to bed. My partner had woken up and asked what was going on. I explained everything. He rolled back over to sleep.

Right after that, I felt this weight of fear, anger, and sadness wash over me. All the years of protecting my sister from our alcoholic and abusive father and all the years of my alcoholic and abusive ex hit me like a ton of bricks.

I cried. I sobbed. And in that moment, I realized where I thought I had let go of most of that and moved on, it actually was still living inside me. The fear for myself and my sister getting screamed at, yanked around the house, and dealing with our father. The fear of my ex drunkenly driving a car with me in the passenger seat or punching holes in our walls before storming out into the night.

I haven't felt that way in so long, and it was like I was experiencing all in the moment as though it just happened. That trauma is deeply seeded inside me still and holds a tight grip on me to this day.

My (f35) partner (m38) is dx ADHD, RSD, CPTSD, and grew up with narcissistic parents.

I also grew up with a narcissistic father who was an abusive alcoholic. My mother did her best and thought that sticking it out with him, even after he cheated on her, was best for my sister and I. She was and is still my biggest support. Home life was mostly staying in my room to avoid our father while he drank and raged, zero communication about feelings, and protecting my little sister from our father.

My mother, sister, and I built our relationship back to something more healthy once my parents divorced, I had just graduated high school, and it was tough. I also used to have trouble with my anger, but I've gotten much better after years of self reflection and work.

Nowadays, my partner pushes my buttons and fights with me over the weirdest things. I know it's partly because of his dx and past, but it's also not an acceptable excuse to treat someone badly. He reacts rather than listen. He lashes out instead of communicating. It's exhausting.

He threatens to walk out, ignores me when we really should be talking, and never apologizes for his actions/words. When I tell him he has done something that hurt me, it's always 'Stop being emotional', or when I explain my perspective of a situation he misunderstood, he says,'You're a weasel'. He villainizes me and can't ever see where his behavior is a problem.

I've asked if he would consider therapy, but he says,'I already put in the work. I don't need to do that again.'

I feel like this is a dismissive and harmful response for our relationship and me.

I don't know what else to do. Today he was moody, I could see the difference in him. I checked in to see if something was up, and he reacted like I was projecting my own feelings. I was fine and even energetic today. Then, later, he lashed out at the grocery store because I asked 'too many questions' and felt it was just, despite me being kind and non aggressive all day.

I apologized for asking lots of questions, but asked him to see how his reaction was not okay. He didn't even try and thinks he's in the right on this. Now he is refusing to talk to me for the rest of the day (he barely spoke to me today to begin with). I feel so alone.

Recently, I put together a model and the hips have zero hold for posing. It's like a pair of loose marionette legs at just the hip joints. Does anyone know a trick to fixing an issue like this?

I have been unsure about if my partner is emotionally abusive, but friends have told me they he is. They believe he is a narcissist and emotionally abusive.

This morning, he was stressing about results from his doctor about high cholesterol and blood pressure. He also has hypothyroidism, adhd, cptsd, and depression/anxiety (so it's not easy).

He asked me to look at something he thought was swollen as he got ready for work. I woke up with a sore back and was resting in bed a bit longer, but I agreed I would for him.

I get up, take a look, and advise it's likely a swollen lymph node. I looked up things he could try other than a shake plate that we have and meds. While he does the shake plate and I read off aloud what else he can try (warm compress, massage, rest), he asks me 'Could you get me a warm compress?' I said 'sure' and continued to read the rest of the list (only took about 10 seconds to finish).

I hadn't gotten up immediately since I was still reading, but it wasn't even 20 seconds when he snapped 'Can you get the warm compress?'

I said 'I said yes, it's not been more than a handful of seconds. I don't appreciate being rushed around.' I said this as I stood up and went into the kitchen to heat one up. He then told me I 'back sassed' him and was over-explaining myself.

Most disrespectful and dismissive things he could have said. And with a tone like the handful of seconds inconvenienced him, despite the shake plate having another 6 minutes to go.

I told him that his response was rude and it was not back sass to tell him how I didn't like being rushed. He continued to say I was overexplaining and be dismissive. I told him 'I get you're stressed about this, but it doesn't make it appropriate to talk to me like that.'

He mumbled under his breath while I heated up the compress. We didn't talk until he was walking out the door, where I stopped him to say goodbye and kiss him. He acted annoyed when I moved his hair to not get it in my mouth, and when I unzipped his lunch bag, as he put on his shoes just a few feet away, to put in the deodorant he keeps forgetting.

He literally whipped his head around like I was doing something wrong, and he was about to snap at me. So I said 'What did you think I was doing? Just putting this in there for you.' He barked 'I don't know. I heard the zipper.'

I said 'I feel like you are in a bag mood this morning, and it is coming out at me.' He mumbled about something and grabbed his things to leave. So I just ended it with 'I love you, have a good day' and went back inside.

Like... he HAS to know he's doing this, right? The dismissing and rude way if speaking to me. The way he words things does very controlling sometimes. He'll say 'If you want, I'll allow you to pick out the shirt I'll wear today' when we have plans out. Used to be more fun to help each other pick something, but now it's more like he's 'letting me' which I don't like.