u/macakeanator

I started taking 150XR 5 days ago and the first few days were great. I felt a lot more focused, higher mood, lower ruminating thoughts, lower appetite. I was able to get out of bed and take care of chores around the house easily. Now that it’s been 5 days I feel like I’m right back to baseline. Constant ruminating, bedrotting, eating snacks, can’t focus on my studies.
Not sure what to make of this. Did anyone have a similar experience? Did it get better? Or should I expect the next several days to get progressively closer to baseline. When should I see my doctor about increasing the dose?

I’m a little over a month into M1 and I’ve been creating/doing anki cards every day.
In the past week or so, I’ve ramped up my number of daily reviews to prepare for my upcoming exam.

And recently, every night I have very vivid dreams where I’m doing nothing but reviewing anki cards. Sometimes the dream cards make no sense and are incoherent, other times they’re real cards that I’ve practiced during the day. And every time my alarm clock rings in the morning and I pick up my phone, half asleep, turning off my alarm appears as an anki card I have to recall to solve. Then I get the card right and fall back asleep.
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and was still partially asleep, and the entire time there were anki cards flashing through my consciousness. Opening the toilet, anki card, grabbing the toilet paper, anki card. Washing my hands, anki card.
Last week my girlfriend woke me up to sex and in the midst of sleep/wakefulness, every touch felt like getting another anki card. I was terrified!
What’s even more interesting is, the next morning, I wake up to practice my learning cards, and suddenly they all come to me easily. I’ve always been a sleep talker and occasional sleep walker + frequently have vivid dreams, however, now all my dreams and sleep talk are exclusively anki related.

Is this a relatable experience?

WLW breakup! Both 22 years old newly graduated college and off to grad school.

I was frequently unhappy with my ex. There were so many issues in our relationship that never got solved bc we were incapable of having difficult conversations where things actually got fixed. Every time I’d bring up something she did that hurt me, she’d flip it, make it about herself, and cry until I wound up comforting her. Or she’d just blow it off as unimportant. Eventually I got so tired of it and so unhappy because of the many repetitive problems that did not get solved.

We broke up SIX MONTHS AGO. I’ve dated so many other people since and genuinely have been trying to move on. But then I run into her or stalk her page and I still just cannot. Stop. Thinking. About. Her. We spent every waking moment together. When we weren’t together in person, we were texting updates about our day. When we couldn’t fall asleep next to each other, we’d fall asleep on FaceTime EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. We were together for over 2 years. It was probably an unhealthy level of enmeshment and part of the reason it was so hard to leave. But she was genuinely my best friend and sole confidant all throughout college. Im realizing how it’s going to take just as much time to build a trusting partnership with someone new. And that everyone new comes with a whole host of baggage and then feeling like I should’ve just put up with my ex’s baggage because at least she knew me deeply.
I keep getting in these loops of rumination where I’ll convince myself it wasn’t that bad and I was just being ungrateful and I should’ve tried harder and I made a mistake by ending the relationship.

I’ll try to remind myself about her selfish/rude tendencies and immaturity and inability to sit in discomfort or fight for our relationship.. but then I just start reminding myself how I can be selfish and immature sometimes too and how nobody’s perfect and how I should’ve tried harder and I broke her heart by deciding to give up. And now she absolutely HATES me. I tried to stay friends after the breakup and reached out and we hung out on a few occasions but that was a mistake because she was then expecting me to make a big gesture to get back with her, but I was just missing my friend + seeking closure. When she realized it wasn’t what she expected, her energy turned cold and angry fast, she’ll still post shady shit online about me to this day. I ran into her and her friends at a club last month, and her friends said hi to me, so i tried to say hi to her too, and she flew into a drunken rage, cursing me out, and slapped me! I tried texting her after to ask wtf was that and told her how hard this has been for me too and she blocked me! Then a week ago she made another subtly shady post about me on social media.
I understand why she’s so mad, as we used to talk about a future together a lot and she probably feels like I pulled the rug out from under her. She was just never aware of how serious the issues were when I brought them up and felt blindsided and betrayed by the breakup. it has me wondering if I was just being dramatic or a hard to please perfectionist. Idk it sucks. I’m trying to just focus on my next chapter in life and enjoy dating new people and get her out of my head, but I miss her, and I feel guilty for being the one to leave. Any advice? Someone convince me I did NOT betray the love of my life. I need a reality check to help me move on.

My girlfriend and I became official 1 month ago, but before that we were friends for years and started hooking up/dating about 6 months ago.
I’m pretty sure she’s into me…our mutual friends told me she’d been crushing on me hard for a long time, and when we hang out it’s genuinely loving. But she’s also severely avoidant, and it stresses me out.
Ever since we’ve been official, I find my texts being left on delivered from anywhere from 12-48 hours. When we were just dating/hooking up it didn’t really bother me/I didn’t notice, bc we were seeing other ppl and there was no level of commitment. But eventually she told me she didn’t want me seeing other people and then I asked her to be my girlfriend.

I try not to double text or beg for a reply but a couple of weeks ago I did ask why she leaves my texts without a reply for so long, and explained that as a girlfriend I expect to hear from her more. She’s always very vague about personal stuff and just makes some lame excuse about doing “chores” or practicing her hobbies. Or makes a very vague statement about “people being in-and-out of her life in the past” which is her explanation for why she doesn’t answer my texts. We’ve had multiple conversations like this and she says she’ll work on it but then a day later I’ll send a text her asking about her day and don’t get a reply until 20 hours later.
I’m coming out of a past relationship where we’d text each other goodmorning and goodnight and give little updates about our day all throughout the day…I always thought that was a relatively normal level of communication for a girlfriend. I also know everyone operates differently tho and this one seems pretty detached from her phone / social life so I’m trying to be patient / not compare her. This is also her first real relationship so I’ve tried to model my expectations by just showing up consistently and texting her on a regular schedule but she still hasn’t reciprocated. I’m not sure what to do, should I try to compromise and grow accustomed to just not communicating over text? Should I bring it up againnnn? Atp I feel like I’m begging. But I also really like her and want us to work. Other than this our connection is literally perfect.

My ex and I have been broken up for over 6 months. We haven’t contacted each other for roughly a month and when we did interact, it was unplanned and heated.
So last week on the Strawberry Moon I put a sigil of us in a honey jar with some other spices. The literal day after I made the jar she posted on social media referencing me, but it was spiteful. The timing of her post with the jar was interesting because it’s been a while since we’ve interacted so I wondered why I was on her mind enough to post, specifically that day. However, the post wasn’t sweet, it was pretty salty. Do you think this means the jar is working, but taking its time, or that it’s having the opposite effect.
For context, the jar contained honey, sugar, cinnamon, and rosemary, and I burned a candle over the jar and sealed it with the wax.

My ex and I have been broken up for over 6 months. We haven’t contacted each other for roughly a month and when we did interact, it was heated.
So last week I put a sigil of us in a honey jar with some other spices. The day after I made the jar she posted on social media referencing me, but it was spiteful. The timing of her post with the jar was interesting because it’s been a while since we’ve interacted so I wondered why I was on her mind enough to post, specifically that day. However, the post wasn’t sweet, it was pretty salty. Do you think this means the jar is working, but taking its time, or that it’s having the opposite effect.