u/martinisawe

So I was at the wait-list in college for air-conditioning/refrigeration(HVAC) and omg I genuinely love it also I got in 💪🏽. Anyways going to the topic for this page, this has been a day&night difference when I'm out cold approaching. So the day before when I mentioned how I was nearly giving up, today I went from barely having the strength of saying "hi" to someone to now finding ways to keep an engaging conversation. Also instead of getting silent treatments I get rejected straight up. Like omg this is a lot but just a brief update for today.

So the day before I mentioned when you were to have a bad day. Now I might need some help now. I'm at the stage of "giving up". I went out cold approaching on a different plaza. Anyways the 1st store I went to I was getting ignored alot. But I pursued. Then the 2nd store it was a little better, where I pursue and got responses. Then I went to a Barnes and nobles and I felt hesitation but I went and confronted my fears. So far so good, then when I went to a clothing store I was getting ignored alot so much so that I was considered giving up. I pushed that mind off my head and it gradually became better and I went to another store. Regardless it was a good day but I felt like giving up. So how do y'all have to deal with that mentality out of y'all head?

To those who are new and are hesitating, if you have a bad day, say you feel needy, you feel like you're overthinking. That's what happened to me today and in the end it wasn't a big deal. I was working out today at the dumbbell section and I see a really pretty lady who's a 8 out of 10. I went up to her and told her she's gorgeous, and she made a disgusted face. I moved on but not without overthinking and I felt a bit needy. I then went around the plazas and then Walmart. At first I was hesitating to pursue but I did it anyways and the more I did it the less I was overthinking and the more confident I felt. So even if you feel needy or you put a woman into a pedestal. Just go out and greet everyone whether they're grandmas or a lady with zits on her face respect them all the same.

Hey y'all so I went to my local mall today and it was pretty mid, since it's mostly just families spending time outside. Though I did make families smile, it's pretty boring. I might as well go for more fun places, but the thing is that I live in North LA County and the traffic to go to LA is hell. Though how would y'all deal with this situation

So on my last post I was dealing with catching feelings, and I want to thank y'all for helping me out, plus it got me focused on striking a conversation.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CoreyWayne/s/1efUbl0hlA

Anyways yesterday I was at the gym after work and then walked around the plazas, from Walmart to the clothing stores. Doing my approaches was really scary ngl haha, but I tell myself the consequences of not doing it. Mostly it went well but some I did very horribly but overall despite feeling fearful, it boosted my confidence.

Today in the morning when I was getting ready to hit the gym, I was pretty nervous but I tell myself the consequences on going to the gym. And I learned that you can make fear/anxiety into excitement. I went later on to Walmart and I started to chat with people at my direction. It was a lot smoother than yesterday, and when I was walking to the clothing store, I approached a lady coming out of the gym and we chatted, I could tell she was interested in me I asked her name and she asked mines, but I wussy out and didn't ask her number. But the fact that it was that easy & effortless. I have alot of confidence that tomorrow I'll get someone's number. Not there yet but it feels so effortless to strike up a conversation

Hey y'all can y'all put my head in the right place, I'm not in the right space

So I've been doing good to improve my social skills and it's been going on pretty well. But last week I caught feelings with my job coach( at my workplace it's a vocational program with hundreds of sites and lots of workers where there are 3 workers and 1 job coach that drives us to the site) now usually i would just shoot my shot but this is a situation where I can't do without risking losing my job since it's against the policy to hangout with job coaches outside of work. Regardless if she likes me or not doesn't matter since I'm not risking my job. Anyways I've been catching feelings with other coworkers and being needy, regardless I decided to just greet any of my coworkers and job coaches alike to stop feeling needy, but I still feel like shit. What do y'all do in this situation?

In the last several months I've been socially reserved(if that makes sense). So I work at a vocational program, with hundreds of workers(I'm one of them) and job coaches. So they sent 3 workers and 1 job coach to a site. I would be social towards my peers and conversate with them, but after work I just want to be myself the whole day, especially when we work I'm social and also a worker. As well as when I go to the gym, I have a few friends there that I would say hi to and the rest I go home. Now, I feel weird saying this but I don't really have friends I hangout with and I know to have friends is to hangout with them, but my social battery feels pretty drained when I do. Idk what would y'all ENFPs do in this situation.

P.S I spend a lot more time with my siblings, and childhood friends

Hey y'all so today at the gym I flunked pretty hard. So on one of my last posts I mentioned how difficult it is to cold approach women at the gym. Well I'm taking y'all words and I go up to someone I think is gorgeous, as well I also am practicing on eye contacts. Anyways I was getting bad on eye contacts. I'd be the first to look down and I would kick myself for it, as well as how it affected me today at work. Anyways as I was cleaning I started to analyze my errors and to fix them. I noticed I keep looking down when someone looks in my direction and I just decided to not be the first to look down. It's terrifying but I know the consequences of not doing so

So at my workplace, there's this receptionist who I thought is very pretty but due to our positions(I'm a maintenance guy) I never asked her out until today, which is her last day. I'm leaving early to apply for college and as I was saying my goodbyes, I decided to ask her out and she rejected me. I'm fine with it but due to our positions, I'm overthinking about if it is gonna affect my job. So I'm both happy that I shoot my shot but nervous that I might be in trouble

So I gave up on cold approaching women at the gym. Like the only time I do is if she does eye contacts on me. Besides that I'm learning to just let go and to be with myself (I was getting needy). Although, I've been getting way better at cold approaching where I could just strike up a conversation and create chemistry. Though I'll admit I'm having a hard time to ask for their numbers I tell myself the consequences if I don't put myself out there and get rejected

Hey y'all, I ain't gonna lie I'm kinda hesitant on posting this, so I just finished a serious discussion from my close friend and he has a point. I had 2 close friends, 1 of them, we had a fallout due to me being too clingy. At the time I was going through major grief due to our other close friend backstabbing me twice. I didn't know how to deal with grief and I wasn't being myself and also way too odd. Anyways a few years later I managed to deal with my grief and fast forward to today, I'm bringing this up cause my "now" close friend mentioned to me that I ask him too many times to hangout with him, and that's the reason I lost my other close friends. I was offended but he has a point that I keep asking alot while he's doing his side projects and that we'll hangout in September. I have to agree and we communicated our wants and needs and cause of that conversation, it made alot of sense why I lost my other friends, and he sent me a video of "the movie obsession but the girl is the guy" and he said that's me and now I seen what kinda person I am(I heard the movie is genuinely horrifying and I don't want to be this person truly). I always knew I act too much but I don't catch myself until it's too late, how do y'all deal with this and is there a way to deal with this?

So idk if y'all ENFPs relate but ever since 2023 I've been working on my job which is a vocational program for people with disabilities where there's a lot of people to talk to after being isolated from covid it was like a buffet of varieties of people to talk to and I could express my social butterfly. Well I had a group of 3 people where we were like peas on a pod. Unfortunately one of my friend backstabbed me not once but twice and I went down a spiraling of being afraid of being lonely and grief. That's when the insecurities or my "whole" crazy self I previously tried to reserve came out fully, it was like I didn't care who I'm cool with or not I was being my full crazy self. For awhile I liked being that crazy high energy guy but eventually as of recent it feels like a chore and I noticed that I don't have alot of support from those I care about and I slowly noticed how out of place I felt where I feel very lonely. Like I regret being highly energetic instead of being "mature". But also on another instance when I feel lonely I want to make meaningful relationships but also when I have meaningful relationships I feel "too cool" to have more people to talk to. Like if I don't have anybody to talk to I become genuine but when I do have someone to talk to I become shallow. Idk if that makes sense and also how do I deal with this