u/mattoyaki

I genuinely feel so weird for even posting this lol but I’m kinda at a loss and have no one to talk to about it. I don’t think other men would quite understand my perspective, nor would they be able to provide proper advice lol.

For context, I am 30m and I have pretty much always identified as gay until pretty recently. I never found myself attracted to girls or women at all during puberty and even in my early 20’s. I simply had no interest, despite having friends who were straight and watching porn and even ratings girls in middle and high school, women just never did it for me. I saw them as friends, and “sisters” so to speak, but nothing more.

Well, in my mid-20s I was at a college party and the person I came with bailed on me for a dick appointment lol, so I ended up being alone most of the night. I’m more on the shy side and especially was back then, so I drank more than a few beers to cut the nerves and I ended up running into a girl I had a few classes with. I think you can tell where this is going…..We both got drunk, talked all night, and next thing I knew we were in bed together. I genuinely don’t know what came over me it all happened so fast, but she did make the first move, and I kinda just followed suit lol. But it was like a flipped switch inside me, and ever since I have had an undeniable attraction to women, albeit small at first.

We weren’t super close but we knew each other enough that the next morning was a bit awkward. She knew I was gay, and I was having very conflicting feelings over what happened. But I was feeling some type of way and I shot my shot, against my better judgement I asked her out on a real date. She firmly but politely declined, saying it was just a drunk hookup and she doesn’t see me as more than a friend. I was okay with that response, but then she added that she “could never date a gay guy anyway.” Ngl, that part really hurt and made me pretty much never think of asking a woman out ever again lol. We didn’t use protection so I bought her plan B and we kinda just went our separate ways after that.

For a while I was little confused over it but ultimately decided it was an experimental thing, and I moved on. I ended up getting into a 3 year relationship with a guy, and I kinda put it all behind me. Except, however, I would still occasionally watch straight and lesbian porn when I was feeling “curious” and I’d think about it from time to time when I was jerking off or even when I was having sex with my partner a few times.

My ex found straight porn on my computer and he got very insecure about it. Even though he only found me watching it one time, it basically came up every argument after that I would leave him for a woman one day. I just did my best to reassure him that’s not the case and I loved him and wanted to be with him etc, which was true at the time. I did eventually break up with him though due to his insecurities and the fact we just weren’t a match, but it honestly had nothing to do with the bisexual stuff. He told me he really does think I’m straight or at least bisexual though, which did make me start to reconsider my sexuality again.

That relationship ended 3 years ago and I’ve been unable to have a successful relationship with another man since, despite being on several dates. And I’ll be honest….my growing attraction to women is absolutely a big reason for it, and that attraction has only gotten stronger over the years. While i find myself attracted to both men and women, I have definitely been thinking more about women than men the last few years. Perhaps it’s simply because I want to experiment dating and sex with women more since i didn’t in my youth, or perhaps I’m just a late bloomer lol.

Either way, I know the logical next step for me is to simply put myself out there and go on dates with women - but I think my confidence is completely shot from the one night stand into being rejected all those years ago lol. Also, I simply don’t know how to approach women in a romantic or sexual way at all lmao. In my limited experience dating and approaching women is a complete night and day difference from dating other men lol. When i approach other guys i am confident, flirty, and have no trouble pulling at all lol. It is easy and low stakes. When I try to flirt with women….it feels a bit like I’m cosplaying and they immediately clock me as queer and aren’t interested 😅

I also have a ton of friends who are women, and while I don’t think of any of them in a romantic or sexual sense, I’ve recently I’ve been feeling somewhat guilty about finding women in general attractive. I haven’t even told anyone I’m bi because part of me feels like if they found out I was bi/pansexual they might suddenly be more uncomfortable around me? Idk, it just seems like people in general have a hard time grasping the concept of being attracted to all genders. I don’t want to make my existing my friendships awkward if I don’t have to, and i certainly don’t want to come off as creepy or hyper-sexual, or anything like that. At the same time, I also want to be truthful with myself and others. I’m a pretty shy person by nature, and I already know it’s a turn off for a lot of women for a man to be bi, let alone being gay for 15+ years and having hardly any experience with women at all. Overall, I just feel like a fresh water fish thrown into the ocean, but I’m still trying to swim a little, ya know 😭.

All this said - what advice would you give a guy in my shoes here? Would you consider dating or at even just hooking up with a guy who’s predominantly only ever been with other men? Is my sexuality and sexual history even something I need to disclose in a casual set up? I’d love to hear the perspective of women on this topic and maybe get a little advice for how I can navigate these feelings and move forward in my life and relationships.

Thanks to everyone for reading, sorry if this post is cringe 😭 🙏🏻

TLDR: DO NOT MISPLACE YOUR RELOCATION KITS. YOU WILL BE LOCKED FROM RELOCATING ANYTHING!

For anyone not aware, when you relocate a building there are 3 steps. 1) you have to place a relocation kit down in front of the building you want to move, bring over workers, and begin the “preparing” phase. 2.) Once the “preparing” phase is over you pick up the kit again, place it at your desired location. and then 3) bring more workers for the “relocation” phase. Seems easy enough, right??

Well, if you’re an idiot like me you got distracted and somehow misplaced the relocation (move) kit during step 2, and now you can’t find it anywhere. Ok, no biggie, right? Except it’s a huge biggie cause now you are locked out of relocating literally ANYTHING at all until you find it lmao

Also before you tell me, yes, I’ve checked the lost & found. Yes, I have checked every chest on ever map. I have literally been soft locked over this for over a month now, looking every day. There is no other option for me but to delete my ~800hr save and start over. 😭

Returning player trying to plan my future pulls.

I’m leaning toward Citlali for a few reasons, but I do like Lohen and ultimately just want what’s best for Durin. My question has two parts. (1) Which is better for Durin in general, and (2) which would be better for me personally?

Here’s my reasons for pulling each:

Citlali

I already have R1 Starcaller waiting for her. I skipped her first banner for Mauvika but got her weapon going for Mauv’s. I wasn’t playing during her rerun so haven’t got her yet. She’s definitely been on my list for a while now and my account is severely lacking in Cryo options. C0R1 will be easy enough to guarantee by her supposed rerun, but I’d love to snipe C2 if possible.

Lohen

I love his aesthetic but not necessarily more than Wriothesley, who I already have C1R1. Wriothesley is pretty decent with Durin rn but the thing is I don’t really care for Wriothesley’s play-style. Even with C1 he feels clunky. Lohen on the other hand seems much easier to play. I unfortunately won’t be able to guarantee him since I pulled both Durin and Nicole this patch.

Don’t mind me, just a returning player feeling completely inadequate over not being able to clear Dire, despite playing a long time and having a decent amount of vertical investment.

It’s okay because the rewards for Dire genuinely suck. A temporary skin?? Yeah, I prefer not pulling my hair out just for that lol. I was honestly fine with not being able to clear it cause I didn’t play for like a year and didn’t have any of the shilled characters, so it felt fine. I’m not pulling for characters I don’t like just to clear an endgame mode with crap rewards.

But since I got Durin and Nicole (and managed to get C3R1 and C0R0 respectively) I thought, maybe…just maybe I’ll have a shot at Dire this time. I spent the last week preparing for my run and actually forming out a game plan, whereas i typically just go in blind. The results…I tried for 6 hours last night and can only clear 1/3 of the bosses, same as usual 🫠

Before SO I never considered myself a bad player. I didn’t consider myself a pro or anything like that, but I generally felt good about my performance. I felt like I was qualified to give newer players advice, at the very least. Even in past content that I needed to retry or rethink my strategy on I was able to enjoy it and defeat the challenge, and feel good about it. Fearless is a cakewalk for me, I always clear it my first try. Dire on the other hand does not even remotely feel beatable to me, now even with shill characters, and it certainly isn’t fun.

So whatever, I’m just not good enough for Dire, but is Fearless even hard? Like, is it even an accomplishment at all? Am I only clearing cause it’s easy? It feels like anybody can clear it with anything, and I’m seeing tons of people here clear Dire with way less investment than me. So I’m just chopped, I guess?