u/maybeyoumaybeme23

I am only a few months in, so I know i probably sound insanely dramatic but god I hate the TTC process.

The sex part is fine, not great not terrible. I have a history of pain with intercourse but it seems i’ve found a solution. Absurd amount of foreplay and massage and preparation. It makes any instance of intercourse a big ordeal. Quickies are impossible. So trying to do this every other day during fertile window is exhausting.

The worst part though is the testing of OPKs, thinking about every little thing all the time and keeping my life in limbo. Every two week wait I really struggle with the thought of going again another cycle. I already have one child and am convincing myself that’s enough.

Sex is painful for me. Not unbearable but uncomfortable in a certain area (fourchette). I need a ton of foreplay (orgasms included) and lube for it to be tolerable.

This makes TTC super stressful. We’re heading into cycle 3 of trying. I’ve been using uberlube as that’s what a specialized doctor for my pain told me to use. But i’m reading this could be killing the sperm? The one time i tried preseed it irritated me a ton and sex was extra painful.

We do a mix of intercourse and at home insemination. For the at home insemination (for those that have been successful doing it), it really is just as simple as i’m ejaculating in a cup, and then using a needle-less syringe to get it into me right?

Any advice around this really appreciated.

ETA: I appreciate the people giving me advice on the painful sex. I have seen every type of specialist at this point, including pelvic floor. This isn’t really an issue with my pelvic floor, and i’m not going to be able to solve it while TTC right now. I’m looking for advice on at home in semination and if ppl know about non fertility lubes like uberlube impacting my chances. Thank you.

I’ve been experiencing pain with intimacy for kind of a long time now. It’s inconsistent. I’ve had periods where it’s better and worse. Sometimes it’s just discomfort at the beginning or tugging at the fourchette area. Sometimes it stings so much I can’t continue. (I don’t need advice on how to improve the pain, I am seeing a doctor for it).

TTC has always stressed me out for this reason. Right now for me to have non painful intercourse, I need an insane amount of foreplay, and a high quality lube. Can’t use this lube for TTC, going to have to use preseed, idk how helpful that will be for me.

On top of that, this cycle my husband has a cold and we really should start trying tonight. But I obviously don’t want to get sick from him, so i’m going to attempt to do a lot of foreplay but without actually getting close to each other?? lol i already know im not going to be able to get into the headspace to not make this painful for me.

Has anyone dealt with this? Do I just need to suck it up? That’s kind of what I did the first time I tried to conceive but at the time it was one of the better periods, only dealt with mild discomfort at that time during sex.

I’ve been experiencing pain with intimacy for kind of a long time now. It’s inconsistent. I’ve had periods where it’s better and worse. Sometimes it’s just discomfort at the beginning or tugging at the fourchette area. Sometimes it stings so much I can’t continue.

TTC has always stressed me out for this reason. Right now for me to have non painful intercourse, I need an insane amount of foreplay, and a high quality lube. Can’t use this lube for TTC, going to have to use preseed, idk how helpful that will be for me.

On top of that, this cycle my husband has a cold and we really should start trying tonight. But I obviously don’t want to get sick from him, so i’m going to attempt to do a lot of foreplay but without actually getting close to each other?? lol i already know im not going to be able to get into the headspace to not make this painful for me.

Has anyone dealt with this? Do I just need to suck it up? That’s kind of what I did the first time I tried to conceive but at the time it was one of the better periods, only dealt with mild discomfort at that time during sex.

I have a son, nearly 3. There is soooooo much pressure to get pregnant soon. Friends are getting pregnant with their first and second. Grandparents are bringing it up. Aging great grandparents are bringing it up(!!! i get it, they might die soon). My husband desperately wants a second.

But i’m honestly totally fine waiting. My work is intense right now. I’m in great shape. And honestly, the thing i’m worried about most is just going through pregnancy and post partum again, where my body is not my own. I’m sick right now and I literally can’t deal. Just a shitty cold but trying to care for my toddler like this sucks so much. My first pregnancy was pretty shitty.

Convince me it’s okay and worth it. Or should everyone go fuck themselves and I should wait till my son is older?

Last year I got a new job. It’s an exciting job at an exciting company. I work a lot now and I earn more. I’m proud of my work. My time is now spent pretty narrowly, I focus on my son, my work, and spend free time going to the gym or just R&R.

I guess since i don’t have much going on, I feel the urge to tell my husband about my work. He’s now made it very clear he doesn’t GAF. It’s kind of fair and kind of isn’t. I find his work to be incredibly boring and do get bored when he tells me about it but i also don’t react the way he does. I let him share and just hide how boring it is, or this could be worse, I just ignore him.

Lately my husband makes it sooooo clear he doesn’t want to hear about my work at all. And now I feel like I have nothing to talk about with him. Just our son I guess? Is this normal? It kind of feels like we don’t like each other if i’m being honest lol