u/meg_ea

I'm at the point of "I don't know what else to do" and it breaks my fucking heart. this cat has done a complete 180 ever since we adopted our dog and I feel like I've tried just about everything to help him. semi-rant, semi-looking for advice.

timeline:

> adopted cat april 2025

> VERY confident, happy cat, literally zero behavioral issues. extremely adaptable, which made me FOOLISHLY think he would adjust well to another household member

> adopted dog december 2025

> start complete behavioral shift

things we've done, tried, or are trying:

> slow introduction with scent swapping, feeding through a gate, limited time together, dog is on a leash learning impulse training, etc

> cat has SO MUCH climbing space / escape routes. multiple towers, a countertop heated bed, shelves screwed into the walls

> the entire upstairs is blocked off for him

> joint treat sessions, lick mats, side by side play sessions, etc

> our dog trainer is an actual animal behaviorist and works with him too

> vet recommended low dose kitty prozac, when that didn't quite produce the ideal result, we upped his dose—that made him WORSE

> tried feliway, didn't impact him

> tried purina calming care probiotic, it gave him the most vile diarrhea I've ever seen

the behaviors:

> stalking the dog, hissing, swatting, attacking

> redirecting aggression towards myself and my husband

> thankfully no litter box issues... knock on wood

> even though he has so much room up high to escape, he actively CHOOSES to put himself in situations where he feels the need to act aggressively

the dog:

> she is VERY reactive. this was NOT known prior to her adoption and we were initially very unprepared for her required level of care.

- apbt/heeler/dachshund/etc mix, so she DOES have a prey drive

- she has learned very well to give the cat as much space as possible. she avoids him when she can, even when HE starts shit

- the one thing I don't like is that she will sometimes get very intent on eye contact with him. I know that's the heeler instinct. we are actively addressing it but it likely will never 100% go away.

- the dog is ALWAYS kenneled if we aren't home, they're never left alone together

- working with a behaviorist and she's made EXCELLENT strides in the last 8 months

they both get soooooo much enrichment. so much play. so much attention and training and enrichment. admittedly we haven't played with the cat as much lately, but it doesn't even seem to change anything when we do.

I don't know what the fuck else to do. any and all suggestions are welcome. I'll answer as many questions as I can.

our dog is maaaaaybe a year and a half old. she's highly reactive and displays fear based aggression to strangers (especially kids). she's been on doggy prozac and working with a behaviourist since about february 2026.

walking her is extremely difficult. it's gotten better with counter conditioning and meds, for sure, but she still had plenty of days where she's just... like, constantly on alert. ready to fuckin go, lol. and to make matters worse, our neighborhood is pretty damn active with a LOT of kids that play loudly outside (and even run in our damn yard), so the mid to late afternoon is really stressful for her. sound is a medium trigger but sight is a HUGE one for her.

AND SHE'S FINALLY GETTING HER OWN FENCED IN YARD!!!

I can't explain how excited I am for this. moving just isn't an option, our rent is too good for our area, so we went halfsies with the owner of the property on a fence that's finally getting installed on july 13th. she's finally going to have some FREEDOM!!! we can play outside without a long line! she doesn't need to worry about kids running at her! I think it's going to be so amazingly good for her.

big win friends 🥳

card 1: what will happen if I take this new job? three of swords upright

card 2: what will happen if I don't take it? queen of wands upright

card 3: if I get offered, should I take it? five of swords upright

my interpretation: if I take this new role instead of sticking it out at my current company, I'll experience an intense upheaval. it will hurt me, but I'll grow from it. if I don't take it, I'll overcome the hardships of my current role and generally perform very well. maybe I'll feel motivated and actually enjoy my work again. if I receive an offer from this new company, I shouldn't take it. I would be facing a lot of workplace strife where I could be thriving at my current job instead.

---

this reading is honestly super disappointing to me :( I'm SO excited about this potential opportunity. but, I will admit, when I did another reading about my current career path, the cards basically told me to hold my horses, lol.

thoughts?

literally the title. i'm like, fuming.

> like, a month ago, an employee walked into the office saying that they were moving across the country and was interested in transferring locations, and asked me how they'd go about doing that

> i said oh cool, congrats! well first do you know which location, do you happen know if they have any openings you're interested in, etc. etc. and i explained the process to her, she left seeming pretty excited or at least like... "ok cool thanks!" about it. i have not thought about this interaction since then because it was THAT uneventful.

> then YESTERDAY, my manager goes, "hey, did you talk to so and so about transferring?" i was like oh yeah, this is what we talked about, why? and my manager tells me that she got feedback from her regional that i purportedly told the employee, "I dunno, go talk to x about it." literally nowhere close to what happened. i told my manager as such. my manager hits me with "I know but I'm just passing on the feedback." my manager then even stated that a different leader in the org got feedback from this transferring employee about how helpful I was!!

> so I asked my manager, ok then what SHOULD I have said? apparently this employee was a big boss's friend's kid or something, and I apparently somehow should have divined that information during this FIVE MINUTE CONVERSATION I HAD A MONTH AGO. my manager said that the information I gave was factually accurate, but that all I should have said was a vague "I'll look into it" and leave it at that.

... am I high??? it really seems like someone lied about me to our regional. I genuinely do not know how else this could have happened. I also had someone complain about me laughing too loudly within my first month. I'm only 3 months into this new job and it has gone from great to fucking awful.

should I just pack this shit in?

vent/advice wanted/the journal factory exploded...

does anyone else become straight up rageful with frustration when your dog barks at ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? or maybe it even is something. whatever.

you have just hit this level of bone deep exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix and you're just like... instantly pissed. I also have struggles with auditory processing in general.

I love my girl. I love her so much. most days are... okay. we're around month 4 or 5 on doggy prozac, and she's showing great improvement since we adopted her. she still consistently reacts, but her reactions are much smaller and she breaks away from her fixations much easier. she and my cat have been getting along pretty dang well too, which was another major concern.

TODAY? she

- wanted to eat the lady getting her mail

- resource guarded against my cat TWICE (failure on my part, a high value chew ended up where I didn't notice it on the ground, he sniffed, she got pissed) (the other one was over a toy but she hasn't resource guarded toys in a HOT minute)

- refused to chill out with me on the couch after I came home from work early because I FEEL LIKE DOGGY DOO DOO BUTT 😤

and then I feel like the worst human being alive because I screamed at my dog or tugged on a leash too hard. she's such a sweetie. she doesn't mean it. I KNOW that. but it's like she and I are the same kind of neurotic and it drives me fucking insane some days. I have a much shorter temper than before we brought her home and I hate it about myself now.

how. do I process. (I'm so tired hahahahahhaha)