u/meltingfleshvomit

- I'm painfully jealous of cis boys whenever I see them

- If I eat way less it will give me a less feminine body and my period will stop, though my height will be stunted. I wasn't gonna be that tall anyway cuz my mom is 4'11 and my dad isn't that tall. I needa lose weight cuz even though I'm not overweight I have chubby, distinctly feminine shaped cheeks on my face that nuke everything cuz my face is kinda masculine besides that.

- Since I'm fembrained as hell (I don't like it so I'm working on changing that), have a female childhood and experience, and a female body, I will always be different from cis boys

- Everyone who knew me as female before will definitely still see me as female if I transition

- The process would be embarrassing. I'd be like "Hey guys I'm one of da bois now rite?!?!?!?" especially since I used to have an insufferable, pathetic, gigafembrained personality and still sorta do. Why do I think I could ever be a boy? Trying feels fake

- My parents and family would hate me

- The majority of the world would hate my guts and see me as weird and spoiled

- Transitioning is expensive and doesn't seem like a good cure since I cannot be a cis boy

- This is probably just my version of the not like other girls phase, I must have hella internalized misogyny

- I should accept being female. In life you can't get everything you want so I should just accept things. There are people with way worse circumstances and I'm complaining and hating myself over being something 50% of the world is. I'm young so I should be focusing on academics instead of this shit (but I do focus on academics already idk)

- My ideal self is without this trans shit is a normie who marries a smart and nice man and starts a family normally and is normal and lives a normal life and satisfies my parents

- When I get older and have to date I'd be undesirable since I'd lack yk and would be very short, if someone ever dates me they probably see me as a woman, I also couldn't start a family normally

- Transitioning is not worth it for me if I can't be a cis boy

- I just wanna be normal

I cannot go on T for a while. Yeah people are supposed to have a female face pre-T but it's supposed to be easy to pass for me as I'm 13. I actually have some good features such as a square jaw, kind of a mustache, and thick eyebrows. My other features aren't super feminine besides my distinctly chubby and feminine facial cheeks which is at least fixable by losing weight. My eyes aren't round, big doe eyes but they are too pretty in a way I cannot explain but losing weight can possibly affect that. There is something else that is so distinctly female about my overall face that I can't explain though. Any tips

It's probably because my account was only a day old when I tried joining it but it's been over a month since that happened and I'm still banned. There wasn't a ban message. How do I get unbanned?

Something about my overall face is distinctly feminine but I can't put my finger on why. Actually I can for some things, I have big face cheeks and it shows the female face fat distribution. At least this is something I can change by losing weight. Something about my eyes too. Even besides those, my face is too feminine in a way I cannot explain. What do I do