u/mikolajeknadmorski

Because I am for sure! When I don't have time for breakfast or need to quickly grab something on my way somewhere or on a break. Where do I go? Żabka. And what the hell happened to my options exactly??

They used to have meatless hot dogs, but they're long gone. You got cheesedog or many meat options.

They used to have vegan burger, but they AGAIN got rid of it. Even my meat-eating groupmate preferred it over amalgamation of mystery meat.

Oh, you want a sandwich? 1 vegetarian🍳(not guaranteed to find), 0 vegan and a trillion of meat variations options available. WHAT'S THE POINT of having SO MANY meat option combos and nothing else. Oh, and also only meat and cheese panini, greaaaat 🫩

I've been wondering for a long, long time whether my experience with religion is shared, whether there are more people like me. 

I went along with religious practices until I gained my ability to think for myself at a young age. Even before that, I did it because I thought that's what I got to do, a part of life, daily quests. I don't remember ever truly believing. It's not because of logic, it didn't matter to me and still doesn't. I simply couldn't be a part of it. It's like my brain lacks something most people have. I'm not able to believe, to feel what others feel. I talked about it with my groupmate, but he again brought up logic. No, it's not because of something not making sense. How do I even explain it?

Try to read a book made for sighted people as a blind person. Whatever you do, it's just not possible for you to read it. Maybe that's a good analogy? 

I think religion is needed. For so many people it gives guidance, purpose, motivation and a place of peace and comfort. So I'm not against it, unless it has negative effects. And honestly? I wish I could be one of all those people who have what I don't. I feel like I would be able to connect better with people. There would be more understanding, deeper bonds, more to talk about and experience together. 

Please tell me if it makes sense to you. Maybe you were looking for someone like you or me as well.

The hard part is to stop clinging to what does not exist anymore, but I miss and wish for to be there. It's hard to accept that the person I fell in love with is "dead". Nothing or no one will ever go back, nothing will be the same. A human is everchanging. Many want to believe otherwise and that's exactly why when faced with it, accepting it is a challange. I want to believe he's still the same and eventually things will go back to where they were, he will look at me with the same eyes, he will care again. But it's just not true. He's now someone who doesn't care to spend a minute of his time to read my message and reply, he's a recluse, every day he chooses only himself. He is indifferent to my care and love. Not because someone did something wrong, but because that's just who he is now. He used to have parts of it in him before, but I understood that everyone has their own needs and need their own time as I am an only child. But now it's so saturated and blinding. And a question to ask is, is it a good partner? Past relationship aside, would I want to be with someone like that? That's a person who does not want a relationship, so why do I wish for it? Only because of the illusions the past shows me, wishful thinking, idolising and fantasies of what could've been, but those are my fantasies and wishes, not the reality

How do you even start to have that mindset, let go of them and hope. When you genuinely loved them romantically and continue to love (differently, but still open to start again) how do you even allow that? How can you even think that someone could be better? To me right now it feels similar to how a mother could say that she'll just birth another one. I feel love no matter what it seems?