u/misoquaquaks

In today’s world if you don’t have a provable disease you’re golden. People love you and welcome you and support you. If you’re disabled without a clear cause you are surrounded with friends. But if you have a test come back positive for a disease you are now comparing your disability to others and invalidating their experience.
So I’m basically fucked. 2021 I was diagnosed with heart failure due to having rheumatic fever as a kid which damaged my heart valves. In 2024 I had a massive stroke and lost all use of the right side of my body. With the scans they also found that I have a progressive Neurological disease which means my brain is dying at an accelerated rate and it’s what caused the stroke. I’m 44. In 2025 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I’m wheelchair bound and people hate being inconvenienced by me using a chair. I can’t have sex, I can’t cum because I have no feeling in my under carriage.
So basically I’m cut off from all humans. No one wants me. My neighbour told me I should go and live in a nursing home seeing as I am so sick.

I’ve tried subs on here and I’m great chatting to people as long as I pretend there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m not going through hell everyday. But when I do disclose my true self, I’m given the suicide prevention line number, mods remove my post saying I don’t belong there, people tell me to fuck off and of course the usual accusing me of comparing my disability and invalidating their struggle when all I want is a to give them a bit of support and perhaps get some in return.

I need life saving chemo, but I can’t have it because I’m too sick. So the cancer people hate me for having hair, when they don’t because they’ve been able to have the life saving chemo I can’t have. So don’t mind me I’ll just be fucking dying in the corner over here.

I had a parasite in my brain age 10. I had rheumatic fever age 7, which damaged my heart valves and now I have heart failure because I grew up in neglect and no one got me the meds I needed in childhood to protect my heart from damage. In 2024 I had a stroke, which led to MRI’s which showed a very old and damaged brain for someone my age. Further investigations led to genetic testing, which led to a diagnosis of CADASIL. That means my brain is basically eating itself. In 2025 I also got breast Cancer, just to add to the mix. Following my stroke I am wheelchair bound so accommodating me is always a whole big deal. I’m incontinent so that’s another thing. At 44, I can’t have sex, can’t orgasm, because I can’t feel anything down there because that part of my brain is dead. I’m single. I have to cope alone so I started reaching out to others who might be feeling like me. But then I just got rejected from anywhere I tried to tell my story or empathise with anyone going through the same. People just don’t know what to do with me and I don’t fit anywhere. Story of my life. I have two beautiful kids who don’t live with me because I can’t look after them, but they visit once a month and I always look forward to that weekend, so I’m not at killing myself stage yet, but living like this is shit. I kind of had a boyfriend on Reddit once. We were talking for about a month and then I found out he was married. So yeah I’m just posting to see if maybe I can fit somewhere. I’m always a square peg in a round hole. I’m a mum, but I’m not a mum. I’m neuro, but I’m also heart. I’m cancer but I’m also everything fucking thing else. If I don’t fit here either that’s okay. Feel free to tell me to move along, as one of your lovely mods have already told me to do.

In 2021 I was diagnosed with heart failure, and I called into the GP office to start meds. 2024 I had a stroke and they still didn’t think there was much wrong with me

I had my first 1month pellet injected three weeks ago. I got my period the same day so I thought I still have some time before the menopause properly kicks in - well let me tell y’all the menopause is here! I am in a slip-slide of night sweats. I don’t know if anyone else has had this but I’m having the worst case of swamp ass 🙈 from all this groin sweat 🤣🤣🤣 And I’m at the beginning of 10 years of this!

Please share ideas with of how to keep fresh / cope with this.