u/missyou-

I don't even care that much that he broke up with me anymore, I just wanna know he's okay... I know he struggles with suicidal thoughts and he's always said he was staying for me but if I'm gone now and he gets bad thoughts I'm worried he won't :<

Losing the ability to talk to him is bad, but losing him entirely would be horrible... I just can't stop thinking about it... What if he's struggling right now...

I don't feel well enough to write anything else today, this whole thing is really taking a toll on my mental health, especially worrying about him so much.

I'm sorry for the messy rant I'm just genuinely sick to my stomach thinking he might be gone, he was such a ray of sunshine...

Thanks for the support guys :c

- Casper

I doubt anyone here remembers me, it's been months, but I'm back :c

Really was hoping this wasn't somewhere I'd have to end up again... Yet here I am, right back where I started again.

My bf finally broke up with me... I'm happy for him I guess because I do feel like I was probably hurting him sometimes, but wow it hurts so bad. I want him back already and it's barely been an hour even, I even slipped and tried to message him again which didn't work thankfully. I genuinely don't know what to do past this, I've deleted any photos of him, wiped any of my social media profiles with him in them, and (tried) to leave him alone.

I feel like I was a horrible boyfriend... I knew he'd be better off with someone else for a while and that I was no longer able to always be there to help him heal due to my declining mental health, and I still wouldn't leave him until he did it himself. I should have let him go a while ago but I was too greedy.

Good news I guess, I had made it to a full month clean before today, was really proud of myself actually... Not anymore I guess sigh

Anyways, I messed up and lost him for good this time, really really wish I could just go back and fix everything, I would spend my life with him if I could, but I wasn't good enough :c

That's kinda it... I'ma start posting again because I literally have no one to talk to now... Yay...

Sidenote... If anyone is willing to talk to me a distraction would be much appreciated, I don't wanna think about this too much anymore, but I am a really bad conversations person and I never know what to say so yk...

I doubt anyone here remembers me, it's been months, but I'm back :c

Really was hoping this wasn't somewhere I'd have to end up again... Yet here I am, right back where I started again.

My bf finally broke up with me... I'm happy for him I guess because I do feel like I was probably hurting him sometimes, but wow it hurts so bad. I want him back already and it's barely been an hour even, I even slipped and tried to message him again which didn't work thankfully. I genuinely don't know what to do past this, I've deleted any photos of him, wiped any of my social media profiles with him in them, and (tried) to leave him alone.

I feel like I was a horrible boyfriend... I knew he'd be better off with someone else for a while and that I was no longer able to always be there to help him heal due to my declining mental health, and I still wouldn't leave him until he did it himself. I should have let him go a while ago but I was too greedy.

Good news I guess, I had made it to a full month clean before today, was really proud of myself actually... Not anymore I guess sigh

Anyways, I messed up and lost him for good this time, really really wish I could just go back and fix everything, I would spend my life with him if I could, but I wasn't good enough :c

That's kinda it... I'ma start posting again because I literally have no one to talk to now... Yay...

Sidenote... If anyone is willing to talk to me a distraction would be much appreciated, I don't wanna think about this too much anymore, but I am a really bad conversations person and I never know what to say so yk...

I doubt anyone here remembers me, it's been months, but I'm back :c

Really was hoping this wasn't somewhere I'd have to end up again... Yet here I am, right back where I started again.

My bf finally broke up with me... I'm happy for him I guess because I do feel like I was probably hurting him sometimes, but wow it hurts so bad. I want him back already and it's barely been an hour even, I even slipped and tried to message him again which didn't work thankfully. I genuinely don't know what to do past this, I've deleted any photos of him, wiped any of my social media profiles with him in them, and (tried) to leave him alone.

I feel like I was a horrible boyfriend... I knew he'd be better off with someone else for a while and that I was no longer able to always be there to help him heal due to my declining mental health, and I still wouldn't leave him until he did it himself. I should have let him go a while ago but I was too greedy.

Good news I guess, I had made it to a full month clean before today, was really proud of myself actually... Not anymore I guess sigh

Anyways, I messed up and lost him for good this time, really really wish I could just go back and fix everything, I would spend my life with him if I could, but I wasn't good enough :c

That's kinda it... I'ma start posting again because I literally have no one to talk to now... Yay...

Sidenote... If anyone is willing to talk to me a distraction would be much appreciated, I don't wanna think about this too much anymore, but I am a really bad conversations person and I never know what to say so yk...

I doubt anyone here remembers me, it's been months, but I'm back :c

Really was hoping this wasn't somewhere I'd have to end up again... Yet here I am, right back where I started again.

My bf finally broke up with me... I'm happy for him I guess because I do feel like I was probably hurting him sometimes, but wow it hurts so bad. I want him back already and it's barely been an hour even, I even slipped and tried to message him again which didn't work thankfully. I genuinely don't know what to do past this, I've deleted any photos of him, wiped any of my social media profiles with him in them, and (tried) to leave him alone.

I feel like I was a horrible boyfriend... I knew he'd be better off with someone else for a while and that I was no longer able to always be there to help him heal due to my declining mental health, and I still wouldn't leave him until he did it himself. I should have let him go a while ago but I was too greedy.

Good news I guess, I had made it to a full month clean before today, was really proud of myself actually... Not anymore I guess sigh

Anyways, I messed up and lost him for good this time, really really wish I could just go back and fix everything, I would spend my life with him if I could, but I wasn't good enough :c

That's kinda it... I'ma start posting again because I literally have no one to talk to now... Yay...

Sidenote... If anyone is willing to talk to me a distraction would be much appreciated, I don't wanna think about this too much anymore, but I am a really bad conversations person and I never know what to say so yk...