u/morningcushla

We're currently in Cairns for a one‑week holiday and honestly… we’re loving the weather, the pace, and how easy everything feels. We have a toddler, and my husband and I are both into snorkeling and scuba diving, so Cairns has been such a nice change from Sydney.We’ve lived in Sydney for more than 10 years now, but this trip has made us wonder if Cairns could be a long‑term move. I don’t know if it’s just the vacation mode talking, so I’m hoping to hear from people who actually live here.A few things we’re trying to understand:

Raising kids: Is Cairns genuinely a good place to raise young children? How are the schools, childcare options, and general community vibe?Cost of living: Is it noticeably lower than Sydney? Does moving here realistically improve your chances of home ownership?

Work opportunities: We both work in the built environment sector (design, construction, infrastructure). How is the job market for those fields? Are there steady opportunities or is it more limited?

Lifestyle reality: What’s the day‑to‑day like outside of holiday mode? Weather, humidity, wet season, transport, healthcare access, etc.Your experience: If you moved from a big city (Sydney/Melbourne/Brisbane), how did you adjust? What surprised you — good or bad? How did you start building your life here?Would love to hear honest experiences from locals or anyone who made the move. Trying to understand the real picture before we let the holiday glow convince us too much!

I’m reaching out because I feel lost and scared, and I want to hear from women who’ve been through something similar. Tonight my husband exploded in anger, shouting so loudly our 3‑year‑old became scared and punching a wall before leaving the house. I froze. My body went into shock. I’m still shaking.This isn’t new. In our first year of marriage, he had similar outbursts. When I was pregnant and postpartum, I discovered he had been messaging prostitutes and going to sensual massages. I left with my baby, but he begged me to come back and even threatened suicide. The police had to do a welfare check. I returned because I was terrified of raising a child alone. I know it's easy to say, just leave him. But to be fair, he is generally a good dad.

Now I feel like I’m back in that same place, walking on eggshells, scared of his anger, unsure what’s normal and what isn’t. We have no family in this country being permanent migrants, and the idea of separating feels overwhelming. But staying in this pattern feels just as frightening.

For women who’ve lived through this, how did you find clarity?How did you reconcile if things eventually improved? If you separated, how did you do it gently and safely, especially with a child? I’m not looking for judgment, just real experiences from women who understand this kind of fear and confusion.

I’m reaching out because I feel lost and scared, and I want to hear from women who’ve been through something similar. Tonight my husband exploded in anger, shouting so loudly our 3‑year‑old became scared and punching a wall before leaving the house. I froze. My body went into shock. I’m still shaking.This isn’t new. In our first year of marriage, he had similar outbursts. When I was pregnant and postpartum, I discovered he had been messaging prostitutes and going to sensual massages. I left with my baby, but he begged me to come back and even threatened suicide. The police had to do a welfare check. I returned because I was terrified of raising a child alone.

Now I feel like I’m back in that same place, walking on eggshells, scared of his anger, unsure what’s normal and what isn’t. We have no family in this country being permanent migrants, and the idea of separating feels overwhelming. But staying in this pattern feels just as frightening.

For women who’ve lived through this, how did you find clarity?How did you reconcile if things eventually improved? If you separated, how did you do it gently and safely, especially with a child? I’m not looking for judgment, just real experiences from women who understand this kind of fear and confusion.

Curious about the culture + what management actually does day‑to‑day.

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I’ve always been site‑based in construction and honestly don’t have much visibility into what actually happens in the corporate or HQ side of the business. I’m curious about the vibe there for people always in the office, the culture, the workload, the politics, the expectations, the day‑to‑day reality.

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From the site perspective, “management” can sometimes feel like this mysterious group making decisions from afar, and I’d love to hear from people who actually work in those roles or provide support for these people. Do you like what you do? Do you like working where you are?

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Also curious how people in corporate view site teams, supportive, disconnected, collaborative, frustrated?

Since becoming a mother, I’ve started to feel a kind of resentment toward my parents, especially every month when part of my small income, money that could have gone toward my child’s needs or our future, has to be sent to them. It’s frustrating knowing they didn’t save for themselves, and now the responsibility falls entirely on me.

I remember being pregnant and on maternity leave, living off government support. It was barely enough, and I wanted to buy nice things for my baby, but I still had to send money to them. It hurts even more when I see other moms who can call their parents for help, financial, emotional, or even just someone to lean on. I’m the opposite. Instead of support, I feel like I’m carrying them.They’re adults. They should be able to support themselves. And if they can’t help me, the least they could do is not be another burden. But I’m an only child, so there’s no one else to share this “responsibility” they placed on me.

They always say they invested everything in my education, private schools, all their savings spent on me. But what about my life now? What about my child? Every time I send money, I feel this wave of anger and sadness.

I don’t even feel respect for them anymore, and I don’t have the courage to tell them how much this hurts me because I’m scared of hurting them.So I just keep it all inside, month after month, hurting in silence.