u/moseephus619

I am in the market for a used EV and looking into a 2023 MachE. Some things in evaluating and getting stuck on is…

how is the mileage for a full charge? I keep seeing between 225-250 for the standard range and closer to 300 for the extended battery. Has anyone ever had issues with the range?

I’m deciding between the Select and the Premium. That panoramic roof is an awesome look but is it really worth it? Does it end up getting really hot in the vehicle? I’m assuming that will also affect the battery cause of the AC that you’d use.

Then, how significant is the sound system upgrade? In traditional cars you could always upgrade speakers but how does something like that work in an EV?

It may sound like a silly question but because of what I recently went through, I’m curious of the responses. REAL responses based on reflection.

If you live a chaotic home life, are you looking for a man in his early 40s that is grounded, secure, and present or are you looking for a man in his early 40s that is still a “project” or “fixer upper” cause that’s what you’re familiar with and fits your current situation of being a caretaker?

I may have “lost” to him but ultimately, I know that I am the higher character and quality guy. I know that may sound like “bragging” or “arrogance,” I acknowledge how it sounds but I also know it as truth.

It is basically confirmed based on others’ perception of him and one particular coworker saying, “I was rooting for you” and essentially saying I was the higher quality guy.

Even HER initial perception of the guy said it (SHE said he gave fuckboy energy, participated in “measuring,” comes off as insecure, while complimenting my character and confidence).

I don’t want to say SHE “chose wrong” but that she simply chose what she knows, what she is comfortable with, and what she was able to handle at this time. I was too grounded and “opposite of lost” (her words). I had too much emotional depth that she is currently unable to handle or probably reciprocate.

this will probably be my last post about this situation because I can’t keep living in the past, the potential, or the what ifs. I will say though, talking to people who face similar things does help, sometimes. So I will be around those that need help cause I am that guy to listen and help.

I just got some “devastating” news about this girl that I was pursuing. Word around the water cooler is she is dating the guy that I “lost” to. After investing 6-8 months, this was the outcome. I really did think we were building something.

We went on walks, texted some, shared personal stories and life things, went on dates, had makeout sessions, shared and created music playlists for each other, movie lists, got each other small gifts and food items, tokens of appreciation, shared voice notes, had moments of vulnerability (crying - her not me) due to home/life/work pressures, shared many non-sexual intimate moments, had a one on one intimate and exclusive NYE shot, etc… she initially told me she has a lot of baggage, partly due to the fact that she is a caretaker for her mother, she mentioned how she’s taken care of her mother for so long that it affected her relationships, that her mother is her #1 priority and she will always come first, even a song she shared made a reference to something like that.

She mentioned how (at least one) of her previous relationships what she learned was that she wish she kept more of her relationship business private. Basically it sounded like there was a lot of office exposure that she did not like and wished did not happen (this will come into play later…).

…and then, it was over.

IMO, it happened somewhat suddenly. But, from the news I just got, she may have been talking to me and one other person at the same time. So I “lost” to the guy that she voluntarily expressed to me not having a high opinion of. IMO, and others, he really chased and over-pursued. Constantly at her desk. Constantly on the phone with her (texting or talking not really sure, but someone mentioned it to a sup that it is “distracting”).

HE put additional pressure on her with needing help with things or wanting her to do things for him. Just…hovering. And from what others have told me, voluntarily, I never fished for information, he would just somehow come up in conversation, he was/is a high drama, emotion heavy guy, and needs to be somewhat the center of attention in a look at me, insecure type of way.

I know it sounds like I am being bitter and bias (maybe a tiny bit) but I promise, this is what others have witnessed and told me. And apparently, it’s already around the office that they are an item, fairly quickly, although it was starting to become “obvious.” But what is also interesting is HE may be running his mouth about who he is with and the new relationship. Like, people that work with us but outside of our office know about it and are talking about it. Word travels fast I guess. Me? I’m the type that would have wanted to keep things as private as possible to protect HER and the potential relationship. You know, to not have too much “office exposure” (callback). But to each their own I guess.

What is weird, what gives me peace about the situation now is, a coworker, who was/is close friends with HER, said that she (the coworker) was rooting for me. I never talked to the coworker about this situation. I never talked to anyone about the situation. But apparently she did want to bring it up to me. She did notice I threw my hat in there. My coworker thought I was the more high value guy. She was really rooting for me and wanted me to be picked (based on what she was seeing). That meant something to me and that’s helping me.

The constant pursuit of the other guy, the hovering, the do this for me, do that for me, the way she said he would talk to HER, the teasing (a little teasing okay but according to the coworker, the type of teasing she saw it as a turn-off). We lightly laughed about it and I told my coworker, maybe I wasn’t aggressive enough and maybe I should have teased HER more by making fun of her hair or something. We shared a pretty good laugh at that one.

Ultimately though, my coworker said, don’t change who you are. It’ll happen when it happens. My coworker said she wants HER to be happy cause she is a good person and deserves to be happy, and if that makes her happy, so be it. But that the new guy better be good to her and treat her right. Apparently, my coworker is not convinced.

Unfortunately, in this situation, my coworkers opinion is not the one that “matters.” But what does “matter” to me is that she was rooting for me and sees me as the more high value guy. There was even a moment the coworker mentioned that at a work event, it was evident this guy was trying to “compete” with me but I showed confidence by not participating in that. What’s funny is SHE said the same thing me. That SHE liked my approach and that it showed confidence. Crazy that SHE chose the insecure guy that needed to “compete” with me.

Avoidant attachment tie in — could this still be an avoidant attachment thing? Maybe. I obviously expressed deeper emotion, meaning, and at least to one, I was the more high value guy. We clearly built something in those 6-8 months, I really do believe that. But I wonder if the emotional vulnerability that SHE started to show and feel was just too much for her to handle. I wonder if it was too much for her to handle that she elected to go with the potentially shallow connection guy that is demanding and needs his ego fed because that is easier to deal with considering all she has going on in her life. IF that is the case, best of luck, I’m curious to see how this unfolds.

I’ll be honest tho…this has lit a small fire under me. I’ve been out the game for a while and I’m ready to get back in it but on my own terms. I will shoot my shot when I see it. As a matter of fact, I already somewhat started. There is a barista at a local coffee spot that, I already planted the smallest seed. And sometimes all you need is a mustard seed.

thank you for being my diary.

Idk if it was really an avoidant thing but it definitely feels like it was. AND it definitely feels I was just discarded like, eh whatever, I was a dime a dozen (which fits the avoidant description of someone trying to distract themselves and not feel the feels).

Anyways, I’ve been hitting the gym (always have but now a bit more), trying to connect with more friends (old and new). AND I’m starting to plant the seeds to shoot my shot on a coffee barista near my work. So I’m curious and interested to see how that goes. Even though I was discarded like a piece of trash (IMO), I feel it did at least give me a little bit of a spark and fire to pursue other avenues when prior to this, I was content where I was.

Idk if it was really an avoidant thing but it definitely feels like it was. AND it definitely feels I was just discarded like, eh whatever, I was a dime a dozen (which fits the avoidant description of someone trying to distract themselves and not feel the feels).

Anyways, I’ve been hitting the gym (always have but now a bit more), trying to connect with more friends (old and new). AND I’m starting to plant the seeds to shoot my shot on a coffee barista near my work. So I’m curious and interested to see how that goes. Even though I was discarded like a piece of trash (IMO), I feel it did at least give me a little bit of a spark and fire to pursue other avenues when prior to this, I was content where I was.

Okay so it wasn’t a full blown “situationship” but it was something building and it just ended and I’m pretty distraught over it. It’s got me thinking if only I had done this or that stage…

We had 4 (maybe 3) good dates and I was really just trying to pace her. Each date ended with us making out. She explicitly told me she was a “slow burn” during our first date, and we had various deep talks. She told me she hadn’t been in a relationship for about 5-6 years, has a lot of pressure at home and work, appreciated that I’m one of the few ppl that doesn’t put pressure on her, all the things. But this past Tuesday, our “situationship” basically ended and she mentioned to me that she is talking to someone else and it kinda just happened. So she wants to see where it goes and doesn’t have the capacity for more than that.

So yeah, I’m pretty bummed.

And now I’m at the stage of, if I had been a bit more assertive on that last date to get a feel of where I was with her, maybe things could have gone differently.

Idk, just looking for any type of feedback.

Has anyone here had dating/romantic bandwidth issues due to a hectic or stressful home/life/work? If so, what did it look like for you and how did you deal with or overcome it?